Man Tells Wife She Looks "Tired" Enough For Senior Discount, Drama Ensues

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for telling my wife to stop crying about receiving a senior discount? My wife (49F) and I (52M) have been married for 25 years. She was absolutely gorgeous when I first met her. When we got married, she looked quite a bit younger than me. However, after our first and second child ( now 23 and 20) we started to look the same age but 6 years ago after having our third child she's been sent in a tailspin physically and mentally. I noticed that what started happening was that when we'd d
  • 02
    Font - When my daughter or one of her cousins ( aged 23 to 33) would go to a school event or school drop up/ pickup they'd be mistaken for a mom and my wife for a grandma. Even when l'm there standing next to her. This has made her bitter and neurotic about any perceived slights. We're middle class but live in one of the few modest neighborhoods in an otherwise really affluent city ( located in a certain Southwestern state close to California). My wife, when my 6 year old was starting elementary
  • 03
    Font - I thought that over the past almost two years, my wife's insecurities have diminished and she's stopped talking about wanting to move. Then the other shoe drops when the two of us decide to go do some quick shopping. My wife went to pay for the stuff and then the clerk assumed she qualified for the senior discount. My wife said blankly that she's still in her forties and after paying for the stuff we walked to our car and she quickly got in, closed the door, and started bawling in the car
  • 04
    Font - I kind of laughed and said that if I were in her position I would have gladly just accepted the senior discount as again it's not like money grows on trees for us. She glared at me and said she looks like a crone now and that even the grandmas here look better than her. At the same time I was looking at her thinking why the clerk would overestimate her age by that much but I saw that she mostly just looked perpetually tired. So I told her that I thought the clerk probably didn't look that
  • 05
    Font - She started yelling at me asking how I could ask that of her when I just insulted her looks. I said I wasn't insulting her looks, people of all ages could look tired and give off a certain impression that's taken the wrong way and that younger just seem less tired for a distance. AITA for trying to reason with my wife? 4 1.1k 3 ↑, Share 401
  • 06
    Font - So you told your wife she should like looking old for discounts and she just looks old because she looks tired and like she's in bad health? Is that all right? Oh and you told her not to cry. You're not winning any husband of the year awards. ΥΤΑ. G Reply 1.1k 3 ...
  • 07
    Font - Rice-Correct • 14h · Partassipant [2] O 3 3 Awards YTA. Sorry, OP. Not once in your post did you mention ever telling your wife she's lovely or that you're still attracted to her. Not once. You mention she WAS attractive when you met her...20 years ago. You go on and on about younger women. The woman has had three children, one of whom is 6, whom she had in her forties. That takes a TOLL on women, man. I think a huge part of her insecurities may unfortunately lie in having a husband who,
  • 08
    Font - YTA. You weren't trying to reason with your wife. You were invalidating her feelings and feeding her insecurities. You have no clue how much women are told that their value is determined by their beauty and youth... and what it does to you when those things fade. She needs reassurance. Stop trying to fix your wife and just love her.. and tell her how beautiful you still think she is. G Reply 1 595 3 ...
  • 09
    Font - Glassy-Eyed-Quinn · 14h ΥΤΑ. I was unsure but then saw your reply in comment section. You still didn't say that you do reassure your wife that she is beautiful and that you find her attractive still. Instead, you treated the whole situation as something that needs to be "fixed". 6 Reply 143 ...
  • 10
    Rectangle - DisgruntledxPelican • 11h YTA. You're horrible. Perhaps if you had stepped up more as a parent, your wife wouldn't be "sent in a tailspin physically and mentally". G Reply 1 117 3 ...
  • 11
    Font - unkindledash • 6h• Partassipant [2] ΥΤΑ Bro have you, like, talked to your wife? Have you shown any empathy? It's simple here l'll give you a starter "hey [wifes name] I want to apologize for what I said before. I hadn't realized how hurt you were by people assuming your age. Now that I have actually thought about it, can we talk about possible steps to help you feel better?" Note: do not say look better. Never. Focus on her feelings, not her face. G Reply 8 3 ...
  • 12
    Font - michiganproud · 7h YTA. She was absolutely gorgeous when I first met her. She isnt gorgeous anymore? The thing I see in this post is a husband who agrees that she isnt attractive anymore and does jackshit to ease her insecurity. There is zero understanding or compassion here and instead there seems to be a certain satisfaction and arrogance about how you look younger. YTA. Support and love your wife. If you cant/wont do that then she deserves better. G Reply 29 ...
  • 13
    Smile - Mynoseisgrowingold · 11h YTA "was gorgeous" and to reassure her you said "she looks tired" and "in bad health" G Reply 1 32 3 ...
  • 14
    Font - melisssne · 5h YTA If you were feeling down about your self and your self esteem was trashed, what would you expect the person you love the most to do? Agree that "yeah dear you look terrible, but just cause you're tired?" Or would you actually expect them to tell you how much you love them, how the clerk is confused from Corona hours and doesn't know what they're talking about? If she is tired, have you done anything to help her? Other than suggest she slather hormones all over her face
  • 15
    Font - Revolutionary_Pen_12 · 3h YTA. Just because you aren't insecure about your age doesn't mean your wife isn't. Why is your first reaction to laugh at her instead of reassuring her she still is beautiful? G Reply ...
  • 16
    Font - JudgeJed100 · 9h•Colo-rectal Surgeon [37] YTA - first off, never tell someone to just " stop crying and get over it" Which is basically what you did Secondly, you would be an asshole for taking a discount your not entitled to (I know it didn't happen but I felt like I have to say that) Thirdly, nowhere in your post or comments does it seem like you have wasted even an iota of effort to make her feel beautiful G Reply 19 ...
  • 17
    Smile - Pale_Strength_7916 • 10h l'd be willing to bet good money that your wife probably doesn't find you all that attractive anymore, either. She's probably just nowhere near the giant gaping A- hole that you are lol. G Reply 1 18 3 ...
  • 18
    Font - Scroll_Queeen • 6h YTA. You sound like you have no idea how to even comfort your wife after literal decades of being with her. As a mother of 3 who is also aware of the toll pregnancy and motherhood has taken on my looks this post just made me depressed af. Your poor wife G Reply ...

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