Insecure Mother Refuses To Let Her Kids Speak English Because She Never Learned It

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Mayarey
Sep 20, 2021 7:00 PM EDT

Most people would be thrilled to have their children speak multiple languages. Being multi-lingual has so many developmental benefits. Plus, the world is becoming more and more connected, so language is a great way to benefit from globalization. But sometimes, people are too selfish to actually let their children succeed, and would rather hold them back from certain experiences because they didn't have the same opportunities growing up. Sounds harsh, but that's showbiz.

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  • 01
    Human body - r/AmltheAsshole u/throwaway78746 · 4h AITA for wanting my child to speak my native language?
    via u/throwaway78746

    It was Reddit user u/throwaway78746 who asked the 'Am I The A-Hole' community if he was the A-hole for wanting his children to speak his native language. Spoiler alert: that language is english.

  • 02
    Font - I (32M) was born in the USA. After college l decided to teach English in a foreign country for a year but I ended up falling in love with the place and never leaving. I've become fluent in the local language and have been living here now for almost 10 years.
    via u/throwaway78746

    This story definitely required some backstory, it seems almost unbelievable that somebody would be so resistant towards having their children speak more languages, but not everyone is as open-minded or secure with their language skills.

  • 03
    Font - I married my wife (29F), a local woman, three years ago. A recurring point of contention in our relationship is the fact that her English skill is very limited, causing her to have practically no relationship with any of my family. I have offered to help her learn several times and she said she would work at it when we got married, however she has never done any serious studying.
    via u/throwaway78746
  • 04
    Organism - Whenever this is brought up she tells me that it's either too difficult or she doesn't have the time or energy (she works full time). This annoys me because in my mind this signals that she just doesn't care about really knowing her in-laws and if she did, she would make time.
    via u/throwaway78746
  • 05
    Font - We are expecting our first child, a boy, this fall. My family and I are in complete agreement that he should grow up knowing how to speak English so my family can interact with him, as well as the fact that knowing English is a highly desirable skill everywhere on Earth. I told my wife this and that when the baby is born I will speak to him exclusively in English to help him learn. She didn't like the idea that she wouldn't be able to understand what we're saying to each other. I once aga
    via u/throwaway78746
  • 06
    Font - bartkurcher· 3h Partassipant [1] NTA, you would like your child to learn English for reasons that would benefit him. She doesn't want him to because she will be left out. Your reason is considering the child, her reason is selfish. People pay lots of money to have their child learn English (you obviously know this first hand) so it would be crazy to pass up that opportunity for your own child (for free) because of your wife's FOMO. G Reply 4 152 ...
    via u/bartkurcher
  • 07
    Font - winnie_the_grizzly · 3h Partassipant [4] You're not an ah for wanting your kid to speak your language. But your comment "my family and I are in complete agreement..." gave me pause. I couldn't help noticing that your wife doesn't seem to be classified as family. Or that you're including your parents or siblings or whoever you think of as family in an argument that's between you and her. I imagine feeling ambushed by her inlaws doesn't help your wife's fears about being excluded from inter
    via u/winnie_the_grizzly
  • 08
    Font - Weskit • 3h Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] NTA. Your wife sounds very closed-minded. What kind of parent wants to deny their child a skill that will be a lifetime benefit simply because they don't understand it and don't want to try? G Reply 1 67 3
    via u/Colo-rectal Surgeon
  • 09
    Font - Agreeable_Tale1305 · 3h You are 100% correct. Listen, I grew up in the US my mother was from a different country. My mother never spoke her language in our house because my father didn't understand. As a result, my brothers and I are the only ones in our extended family who don't speak the language, or feel like we belong in the culture and l'm still sad as an adult that she didn't speak it to us growing up. Now I live in a foreign country where I am the one who doesn't speak the local la
    via u/Agreeable_Tale1305
  • 10
    Font - Lester_Lichfield · 3h NTA. And really, your wife should look on it as a bonding experience with her son, because as he's learning English, she'll be learning it with him. 1 16 3 6 Reply
    via u/Lester_Lichfield
  • 11
    Font - yourangleoryuordevil · 3h Partassipant [1] NTA-language is a personal thing, it's a means of connection, and you're also right in saying that it's an amenity in the world's current climate. Just like your wife won't be able to take part in your conversations in English with your son, your son won't be able to communicate with nearly his entire family in English if you were not to teach him the language. It's a frightening common ground to have, yet it doesn't have to exist. 1 10 3 6 Reply
    via u/yourangleoryuordevil
  • 12
    Rectangle - RoboClaus • 3h Partassipant [2] NTA, your kid growing up bilingual will only be an advantage to them later in life. G Reply
    via u/RoboClaus
  • 13
    Font - Electrical_Cress2928 · 3h NTA I think it is smart that you would want your child to know both English and your wife's language. It will benefit your kid in the long run, with them being bilingual. It would also help your kid have a relationship with his other half of his extended family (your side.) I personally think your wife is being selfish, if she thinks that she won't be able to understand you guys when you are talking in English then she should put the effort into learning it as we
    via u/Electrical_Cress2928
  • 14
    Font - BertTheNerd · 3h Asshole Aficionado [10] NTA. Bilingual marriages are tricky, but you have the right to teach your child your language. The "problem" of not understanding is not a real problem if you teach your child, always to talk the language the other person understands. It is common courtesy. Not learning your language would exclude the child to your family. The question of english as "international language" is additional, but i would advice, not to make this a point while arguing,
    via u/BertTheNerd

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