First Dates That Made People Go "Screw This I'm Out"

It's happened to a lot of us. A friend of yours is all like "hey, you seem lonely" and you're like "yikes is it that obvious?" and they're like "dude, right now you're filling a plastic glove with warm water so you can hold hands with it to mimic some kind of companionship." And you're like "how dare you speak that way about Jimmy Handrix."

So your friend is like "I have a friend who's single, and you seem like a pretty good match, so I'll set you two up on a date."

A week later you're at the restaurant. Your date has just finished their second plate of lobster, violently assuming you've got the bill covered. They're in the middle of a story about why showers are just a social construct, but you're pretty sure you can see visible stink lines. They're excited that mercury is in retrograde, which means they can stop taking their meds, and they've just started snapping their fingers to get the waiter's attention. You reach into your pocket and Jimmy Handrix has gone cold.

It's really honestly not that hard to not be a horrible date. As long as you have basic hygiene, pay some attention to the other person and refrain from telling that one story (you know the one), you're probably going to be okay. With that said, people have some pretty bad first dates. Here are some other times people had "screw this I'm out" moments.

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Posted by Eric Lund

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