Monday Thru Friday

Snow Storm Hercules Bears Down on North America

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    This week, the United States and Canada are experiencing the chilling effects of Snow Storm Hercules.

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    On January 6, it was colder in Chicago than it was at the South Pole.

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    Chicago was sitting at a balmy -18 F, while the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station was -11 F. Granted, it is currently summer down there, but still... South Pole.
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    And it was colder in parts of Canada then it was on the surface of Mars.

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    The town of South Porcupine, Ontario reached -41 F.

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    Cold enough to make boiling water shot from a super soaker freeze almost instantly.
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    And Cleveland broke record temperature lows which had previously stood for 130 years.

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    Cold enough to make you want to use your Christmas tree as firewood.

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    It's made commuting a nightmare...

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    ... and bearded men everywhere are suffering the storm's wrath.

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    Just hours after being sworn in, New York City mayor Bill de Blasio went to shovel his sidewalk.

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    Flights are being grounded all over the country...

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    That, or this plane just got back from Colorado.
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    ... leaving passengers stranded.

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    Some people have been waiting as long as five days in airports across the Midwest.
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    The storm is causing real feels to be felt everywhere.

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    But at least some people still found a way to have fun.

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    Like this guy.

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    Russia sends its condolences regarding our frozen plight.

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    And also laughs because this is like a weekend in July for them.
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    The culprit is a weather phenomenon called a "polar vortex," which sounds like a wizard spell from Diablo III.

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    In reality, it's arctic wind dipping farther south than usual. Since arctic wind blows counterclockwise across the globe, and southern wind blows clockwise, it creates a gigantic spinning hurricane of freezing awfulness. Thanks, Obama.
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    From space, it's making the planet look downright eerie.

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    "Haha, suckers! Bet you wish you had a big fur coat!"

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    We should have listened to Ned Stark...

    But even the King in the North could agree with us on one thing:
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    Hercules, you suck!

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