Wild Thread Recounts Woman's Date Filled With Next-Level Awkwardness

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  • 01
    Organism - Jessica Fox @HelloJessicaFox Found some notes I wrote in my phone after the strangest date of my life and I am now going to make a lil thread. 6:10 PM · 8/29/21 · Twitter for iPhone
  • 02
    Font - K Notes ... 'Notes Any time I laughed at something he - said that I found funny, he'd ask, "Are you laughing at me? Are you mocking me? I feel like you're laughing at me. Why are you laughing? Are you laughing because you're nervous? Am I making you nervous?"
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 03
    Font - He refused to tell me any books or - music or movies he liked and kept saying it was in this spreadsheet he keeps. When I would say that surely he could just tell me a SINGLE movie that he likes, he would insist that he couldn't remember and it was all in the spreadsheet.
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 04
    Organism - He said, "I don't use the internet". I said, "Then how do you do work?" And he said, "I connect to a hotspot". I said, "But that's the internet." He stared at me.
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 05
    Font - He'd pretend he didn't know anything I tried to talk about. "What's a - muppet? What's a theme park? What's Orlando?" And would insist he really didn't know these things, no matter how much I pressed. I couldn't discuss anything with him at all because every single thing I mentioned, he pretended not to know existed.
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 06
    Font - ordered a drink and then when the guy brought it, told him it was mine. The guy said, "No, man, this is yours" and said it wasn't. And the guy said it was, and he said it wasn't. So I said, "Yeah, you did order that" and finally he accepted it. He took one sip and then spilled it everywhere and tried to pretend he didn't. He just kept talking like nothing happened. I said we should tell someone so the waiters don't slip and he said they're fine.
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 07
    Font - After he spilled his drink, a man - sitting at the bar with an extremely distorted voice like he was in the Twin Peaks red room or something was talking to us but I couldn't make out what he was saying. I asked he knew what he was saying and he if told me not to worry about him.
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 08
    Font - I asked if he was social and he said, "Very! Very! I have hundreds of friends." And I laughed. Then he made a really serious face and said, "I actually do have hundreds of friends." And I said, "Oh, wow, that's... a lot of friends." And he said, “Yeah, I know them all on Facebook."
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 09
    Font - I asked what he does during the day and he said he works 90 hour weeks. So l asked what a typical day looks like and he said he wakes up at 9:30 and goes to work and then comes home at 3. I said, "But you said earlier you go to bed at 10:30? And you wake up at 9:30?" And he said yes. And I asked what he does with the rest of his day since he gets home at 3. He said that he gets home and gets bored and drives back to work.
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 10
    Font - I said to that he was 33 and he - said he didn't think so, that he thought he was 32 but wasn't sure. So then he got out his ID and looked at the year he was born and we determined he was indeed 32 and I asked why his profile said he was 33 and he said he didn't know, “those apps are weird".
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 11
    Font - He said, "I'm going on my trip soon and I need to pack. And I need you to help me pack. Okay? Can you help me pack?" And then he slowly reached for something in a bag next to him and I thought, "He's going to shoot me, this is it." Then he pulled out two bags of Cheetos and made me choose which ones he should bring. Then when we were leaving, he left them there. I asked why he wasn't taking his Cheetos and he said the staff would throw them away for him. I said he should take the Cheetos
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 12
    Font - I kept making pleading eye contact with the waiter but he wouldn't bring the check. I was trying so hard to communicate with my eyes that I desperately wanted to leave, and we'd been there for 2 hours. Finally I said to that I should get home and he said that I told himI don't go to bed until 12 and it was only 9:15. He did finally go up and ask for the - check, but when he did, he said something to the manager and the manager said, "I warned the staff. I warned the staff." When came back
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 13
    Font - The entire time we were there, a man - and woman sitting at the bar next to us were staring at me. I was already so uncomfortable and it was making it worse, so I made eye contact with the man and said, "Hi". As in, 'I can tell you're staring at me so stop. He looked away for a bit after that, but then when went to the bathroom, he came over and sat in seat and asked me to go out with him. I said I was on a date and I didn't want to hurt the guy's feelings, and he said I can just slip him
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 14
    Font - When we were outside, he said he - was freezing and he has a condition that affects his circulatory system and makes it hard for him to stay warm. And I said, "But you aren't wearing a coat in the middle of winter!" And he said, "What do you mean? This is the warmest coat I have!" But it was just a very light spring jacket.
    via @HelloJessicaFox
  • 15
    Font - I drove him home because Uber was - taking forever, which he was very grateful for, and very sweet about, and he did not make any moves, so it ended ok but wow, take that, Charlie Kaufman.
    via @HelloJessicaFox

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