CheezCake

We Tried the Weirdest Coffee Trends From the Last Five Years

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  • 1

    Mushroom Coffee

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    This was a trend a few years back that involved combining coffee with powdered medicinal mushrooms that were supposed to help with wellness. Don't ask me why coffee was the thing they put the mushrooms in, by all accounts it doesn't make sense. The kind I tried ("chaga", for a strong immune system) basically tasted like coffee but if coffee was bad. It was sort of earthy and extra bitter. The creepy thing about this trend, though, is that one of the common fungi you can get is cordyceps, which if you don't know, is a fungus that literally controls the minds of insects and then grows out of their heads (seriously, look it up). It is quite horrifying and I'm suspicious of anyone who willingly puts it in their body.

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  • 2

    Butter Coffee

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    This is a trend that came out of Silicon Valley, some mobile app man or other was like "put butter and a MCT oil in your coffee and drink it instead of breakfast. If you're poor just use butter. Stonks"

    Friends, it tasted like oily coffee. It did smell like butter, which was pretty off-putting.  If you're gonna put fat in your coffee...just use cream. It tastes better, it looks less gross, and in either case...you still need to eat breakfast. 

  • 3

    Nitro Cold Brew + Oat Milk

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    I know nitro is a big thing right now, as far as I can tell it's like if coffee was beer? This canned stuff also had oat milk, which I understand is also the most popular plant milk right now. I figured, two birds, one stone. And I mean, it wasn't bad, exactly? The texture was pretty silky, I will give it that, but I'm not sure it really works for coffee. And the oat milk was gross, but I'm a milk purist so maybe I'm biased.

  • 4

    Cold Foam

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    This one I got because I've been noticing that TikTokers love to ask for cold foam instead of whipped cream. I'm a basic b*tch only at Starbucks specifically, so I got this cold brew with pumpkin cold foam. Look, it tasted f*cking amazing. But that's because it was pumpkin flavored. Pumpkin whipped cream would have been amazing too. The one nice thing about cold foam is that it mixes a little more with the coffee, so it's easier to drink through the new strawless tops. HOWEVER, whipped cream is still better.

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  • 5

    Coffee Lemonade

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    I was real skeptical about this one. Apparently it has a long history as a drink but was only a trend as of recently. It's just lemonade mixed with coffee. And I was right to be skeptical! The weird thing is that it didn't really taste like coffee, it tasted more like extremely acidic, bitter lemonade. I guess if you love to drink pure lemon juice but often say "I wish this pure lemon juice was more bitter than sour", this is the drink for you.

  • 6

    Coffee Tonic

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    It's a newer trend, although I believe people have been cleansing their palettes with tonic water after drinking espresso for decades. It tasted a lot like the coffee lemonade, but less acidic, less sour, and fizzy. Again, not much like coffee. Again, if you like plain tonic water but often say "this tonic water tastes too good. I wish it tasted worse" then this is your drink.

  • 7

    Conclusion

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    I suppose not everyone can have the pristine, heavenly relationship with coffee that I do. But some people just take it too far. A couple of these trends are acceptable to me, but most of them are objectively unacceptable and should be burned in a great cleansing fire. Also, please don't eat cordyceps. I'm really not tryna experience a zombie apocalypse in my lifetime.

    Like what you see? Find more hilarious women's memes and crazy stories on our Instagram @Cheezcake_Humor


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