Predictive text is just a phone's way of trying to help, but sometimes we don't need that help. Like, most of the time. And a lot of those times result in autocorrect fails. It's probably better to text someone the phrase "orn my way horm" than have it get turned into "ornery monkey horns" because the first one can actually get parsed out into meaningful speech. It's good to think of these errors in particular as "AutoCorrect's puberty" when the function was far from perfect and made tons of mistakes, many of them awkwardly sex-related.
And sure, phones have come a long way. But in that time, we haven't changed that much. Our sausage fingers are still smothering the buttons and our phones are just doing their best to turn our impotent finger poking into "you up" texts and the like, so maybe we shouldn't be blaming our phones so much as our inability to use them properly. So when our phones come up with nonsense after we put a bunch of nonsense into them, we're just dealing with the consequences.
Why don't we just disable autocorrect? That's a terrific question. Another great question to add to that is "do you think people like us, who are so cognitively in the dark that they just typed 'where pizza go' into their phone also have the technical expertise to futz with the settings? Like everything else, it's probably easier than it seems, but we are far too stubborn to search for reasonable answers. The buck stops at setting the brightness, then anything more complex than that is basically magic.
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It's nice that you can request just about any color you'd like in the paint section, but they probably aren't willing to go this far and make chocolate shart just for customer satisfaction.
A nice buttered potato can go a long way, especially when shot out of a cannon at 3 thousand feet per second. Is Babe a common name? Because it seems like a lot of people have it.
Either there's some diabolical freudian subtext going on here, or this person's phone needs to go to jail. Wait, phones aren't allowed in jail, are they?
It's one of those times autocorrect suggested something that's not out of the realm of possibility.
Most of the time autocorrect fails just end in an "oh hahaha that's so wacky" but it's looking like this one was an invitation to the thunderdome. Guy's gonna need that gym membership so he has somewhere to take showers while he's living in his car.
Getting an STD from the so called "sleep guy?" The sinister connotations are just too much to handle.
The worst thing here is that someone has probably asked this question seriously. Sidebar, polenta isn't even that good and there's no reason to eat it anyway.
The most unbelievable thing here is that someone would go out of their way to text their mom asking how her day went. Or are we just bad children?
We see absolutely nothing wrong here, and every conceivable misinterpretation of this text is valid. Even the auto cucumber.
Just saying, if there were some kind of Jesus Heist, it would probably have something to do with something being gone after three days in a cave.
Hello, my name is Hahahaha, this is my husband Guffaw and our son ROFL.
It's a little too bad it ended up actually being an Epi Pen, cause those things are friggin' expensive.
It's unclear why autocorrect would think that's a thing, but these so-called ladies of the pizza have our attention.
Thank goodness it at least got "door" right and didn't say "dog" or something. If we did everything autocorrect told us to do, we'd be in jail.
*Takes fish out of dishwasher*
"Yeah, maybe this is a little bit my bad."
Autocorrect fails aside, what kind of sociopath texts someone the entire happy birthday song instead of just saying "happy birthday?"
While it's obviously a mistake, they are probably right. It would probably make you forget about your day.
Sure, blame it on the phone.
It's times like these when you don't send a correction, you should just let the message hang there, like a plastic bag in the ocean.
Unpopular opinion: Saying you'll buy someone a casket is a more heartfelt and reasonable description of love than saying you'll buy them a castle.
Give Daniel 2.0 a break, they're obviously a robot trying to understand human interaction.
Again, totally makes sense without the last text. No correction needed.
Pringles are a lot like pregnancy. It involves a no-featured mustachioed man and shoving your hand in a tube full of potato product. Wait a second, those aren't similar at all.
Seeing absolutely no problem with this substitution. What a wonderful sounding time.
Say what you will about imposter syndrome. Like say whatever you will about it. It's probably accurate.
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