20 Hilarious Stories From Twitter to Start Off Your Saturday Just Right

Author image for mattstaff
mattstaff
Feb 11, 2017 12:00 PM EST
Advertisement
  • 01
    Text - C 53% oo T-Mobile 2:02 ΑM taylor Details Messages God knows that shit will go on for hours Vif xiV XIII Did ioi see my tattoo oh nice cute whats it for Read Yesterday My gpa LOL Delivered iMessage Follow @anuscosgrove was so high that i thought gpa meant grade point average and then i realized she meant her grandpa who is dead
    via ebaumsworld
  • 02
    Text - brian essbe Follow @SortaBad One time I saw a video of a guy holding up a sign that said "I love you Stevie" at a Stevie Wonder concert. I think about this a lot. 8:34 PM - 25 Apr 2016 5,640 10,659
    via ebaumsworld
  • 03
    Text - lindsey @Lindzeta Follow when i was 7 i had a crush on a girl in my class & didnt know how to deal w it so I wrote her a letter that just said "get out of my school" 9:49 PM - 14 Jan 2013 23,300 41,377
    via ebaumsworld
  • 04
    Text - Joey Alison Sayers @joeyalison Follow My 4-year-old didn't know what the meat thermometer was called so she said "time knife" which is now what l'll call it until the day I die 10:48 PM - 30 Dec 2016 t4,829 17,221
    via ebaumsworld
  • 05
    Adaptation - Lourdes Follow @gossipgrill i bought a phone case online but didnt realize it was for a 6 plus so i gave it to my dad he loves it 9:26 PM - 2 Aug 2016 t70,681 141,327
    via ebaumsworld
  • 06
    Text - shut up, mike @shutupmikeginn Follow A trailer in a movie theater ended with "November 20th" and a guy loudly said, "thats my birthday" and a random guy said "happy birthday" 4:09 PM 19 Sep 2015 t5,397 15,468
    via ebaumsworld
  • 07
    Dog - Lindsay Martin @lindsaymartin15 Follow My mom just RUINED my dog and she literally said "he wanted to keep it long on the top" I am devastated 11:59 AM 19 Nov 2016 t54,683 109,820
    via ebaumsworld
  • 08
    Yellow - Sara Kenigsberg Follow @skenigsberg Just met this girl running in a banana suit down 17th street. She said it "makes running more fun." Lol LIKES RETWEETS 57 195
    via ebaumsworld
  • 09
    Text - Quinn Sutherland Follow @ReelQuinn A few summers ago I stopped at some kids' lemonade stand. As I took a sip, the youngest boy stuck his whole arm in the pitcher and stirred 10:41 AM -31 May 2013 t138 493
    via ebaumsworld
  • 10
    Hair - Jazlin Follow @glizziemcguire I started crying in the dining hall because I laughing so hard after remembering Scooby Doo's real name is "Scoobert Doobert" DiiOTEDMANM
    via ebaumsworld
  • 11
    Text - atalya @chopstckss Follow my boyfriend asked me what i wanted to eat & i said i don't know & this what he brings me. RETWEETS LIKES 35,867 39,598 IDE
    via ebaumsworld
  • 12
    Text - WalterBlakeKnoblock Follow 34 @WBKnoblock The second thing my mom made me do was watch the Adele Hello video with her. She kept saying "it's about a murder" 11:12 PM -25 Nov 2015 30 193
    via ebaumsworld
  • 13
    Text - lalLI @Brandssss This little boy next door just opened his window and yelled what is 32 plus 7 so i yelled back its 39 and he said thank you god via: Twitter
    via ebaumsworld
  • 14
    Text - Yung Washcloth @DatAinoDamPuppy Follow Last time I hooped in Moore Gym I was guarding a dude with no socks on and he did a spin move and a smashed Mcdouble fell out his pocket. 12:08 PM - 22 Mar 2013 t 6,715 10,432
    via ebaumsworld
  • 15
    Text - Only made breakfas+ for God's children today, have a 6lessed day I Lae yor Prunella BluntsNRoses Follow Dawg my husband asked me to go to church with him this morning and I said no. He made breakfast for himself and my son and left this note
    via ebaumsworld
  • 16
    Text - Indigo Purple @JoeyPurps Follow My 3 y/o daughter made her first pun today and I almost cried. She was eating an apple I asked her if she liked apples she said apple-lutely 5:10 PM - 27 Nov 2016 Chicago, IL t52,445 129,334
    via ebaumsworld
  • 17
    Text - Benton C. Olson Follow @Bentono10 So today I was lookin at a girl bcuz she had a piece of lettuce in her hair & she looks at me and said "I have a boyfriend" ok lettuce head 4:41 PM- 14 Sep 2016 t282,423 579,107
    via ebaumsworld
  • 18
    Text - Sarah Lyons @sarbeaaaar Follow MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED 12:37 PM -3 Jan 2017 t28,293 57,541
    via ebaumsworld
  • 19
    Product - abdul @Advil Follow one time i saw a cute girl so i tied a balloon to her so i could find her later when i was brave enough to say hi
    via ebaumsworld
  • 20
    Text - Young Nope @carolinecox Follow One time my mom dropped her phone while she was talking to me then picked it up and said "You OK?" 2:19 PM - 23 May 2014 142 510
    via ebaumsworld

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

twitter funny tweets funny twitter
Scroll Down For The Next Article