Vindictive Mom Tells Son She Is Just As Important As His Pregnant Wife

Author image for kalila courban
kalila courban
Dec 8, 2021 11:00 PM EST

Parents can be doting, we get that. Their kids are their babies, no matter how old they get. But, there comes a point in every person's life when their significant others take precedence over their parents. Six years ago at age 24, OP starting seeing his now pregnant wife. Since then, Mom has expressed endless disdain for OP's SO, and we think we might know why. Suddenly, OP does not have as much time for mom, at age 30 you would think that this is the norm. Not for this Karen-esque mom, nope. When OP tells mom about the pregnancy, she becomes offended that she wasn't told in person. Seriously? She can take a seat right next to the Karen who complained about a non service dog being in a pet friendly area. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/Amlthe hole u/Scary-Moment-8975 · 7h 3 2 2 6 5 AITA for choosing my pregnant wife over my mom Some back story. My mom was a traditional "helicopter mom" growing up and even though I'm almost 30, continues to struggle with control issues and not having as much of a say in my life as she used to and struggles that she is not my go-to person anymore.
    via Scary-Moment-8975
  • 02
    Font - 6 years ago, me and my wife got together and once it became serious, I started to put our relationship as a priority. My mom expresses disdain for my wife and for my attention being on my wife and not her (gets upset that I use vacation time to spend with my wife rather than for family vacations, would constantly complain that I don't visit home enough, etc.). It has been very difficult on my wife throughout our relationship to feel like my parents don't approve of her or our relationship
    via Scary-Moment-8975
  • 03
    Font - Me and my wife found out she's pregnant a couple months ago and decided to wait until she was 12 weeks along to tell friends and family. We told her parents first and that took a lot out of her. They reacted well but it was emotionally exhausting and she had a rough first trimester so she just didn't have a lot of energy in general. We were obviously planning on telling my family shortly after and my wife expressed concern about their lack of support for big life decisions and said she di
    via Scary-Moment-8975
  • 04
    Font - Now my mom is telling me she's upset that we didn't tell them in person and that my wife wasn't apart of conversation. I explained that my wife was having a rough time and felt uncomfortable with that so I was going to do whatever made her the most comfortable. She is my priority. My mom is insisting that her own needs are just as important in this scenario and that I should've been more considerate and should have known it would upset her to hear the news over FaceTime. She also insinuat
    via Scary-Moment-8975
  • 05
    Font - ICWhatsNUrP • 4h Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] 1 Award Not just this, but OP you need to realize that nothing less than complete capitulation will ever satisfy your mother. Since she won't ever blame you because that would just drive you away, she is going to blame your wife. You should be trying to shield her from that as much as possible, and its obvious you are trying. Its also obvious that it isn't working. The only way to get your mom to change is to institute some hard and harsh boundari
    via ICWhatsNUrP
  • 06
    Font - johnny9k · 4h Partassipant [1] This right here. OP needs to firm up those boundaries NOW before grandma tries to helicopter the baby and second guesses EVERYTHING you do. I would go LC and anytime she tries to argue cut the call/visit short. 金 52 +
    via johnny9k
  • 07
    Font - ELNE-ALT-ACCOUNT • 4h Completely agree. OP's mom is acting extremely immaturely about this. Textbook case of narcissism. She needs to learn that her actions (having disdain for OP's wife) have consequences. NTA, OP. Your mom has serious issues; she is controlling and VERY entitled. Your wife SHOULD be your first priority. 911 CaRiSsA504 · 2h Partassipant [4] My mom is insisting that her own needs are just as important in this scenario I read this in the OP and like... needs? What needs? A
    via ELNE-ALT-ACCOUNT
  • 08
    Font - Hefty_Candidate_4902 · 7h Asshole Aficionado [11] 6 Awards NTA. Your mother doesn't have any "needs" when it comes to your wife's pregnancy. She has wants and she needs to grow TF up and realise it's time for her to be nothing more than a spectator in your life now. That's what parenting is - eventually, you're just a spectator. 6 Reply 1 5.1k
    via Hefty_Candidate_4902
  • 09
    Font - Legitimate_League_21 · 4h Parents don't have to be spectators. They can be supportive and involved from the sidelines without being controlling. It's just clear that Op's mom doesn't understand that. That's why op is struggling Soo much establishing boundaries. 4 73
    via Legitimate_League_2
  • 10
    Font - uncledvxcfvdsg44 · 3h NTA Your mom needs to let loose and let you and your wife settle down as a family. Edit to add: my Bf's mom sounds like this mom and in low-key scared now
    via uncledvxcfvdsg44
  • 11
    Font - BOSSBABY33 • 3h The post says his mother doesn't like his wife much, and try to ruin it,it is common his main priority will be his unborn child and his wife, now his mother is upset that they didn't said it face to face,kinda funny after all of this she expect them to tell her in person, NTA OP 4 56
    via BOSSBABY33
  • 12
    Font - hello_friendss · 4h Commander in Cheeks [240] You NEED to stop playing the justification game with your mother. Say no and tell her any further discussion will be met with consequences. 6 4 137 smarthagirl · 2h Needs Vs wants is spot on. It's amazing how everyone has 'needs' when it comes to someone else's pregnancy. Please take my silver, I don't have any gold to give you! 4 17 3 Hefty_Candidate_4902 · 1h Asshole Aficionado [11] Self-obsessed people loooove to talk about their "emotional
    via hello_friendss

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