Man Alarmed Over Paying $150 On A First Date, Debate About Modern Dating Etiquette Ensues

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    Font - T) r/OnlineDating · Posted by u/Fwooply 2 days ago Modern etiquette on who pays I took a girl I just met to a pretty classy bar on Wednesday. Tab came to $150. She assumed I was paying. And I did. And I don't completely (?) mind. But today she said there won't be a second date. Eh. Still don't mind. But this can get expensive. What's the etiquette on this kind of thing?
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    Font - daisystar · 2 days ago As a woman, I always offer to split it. Even more so if I don't like the guy and know I won't go out again. However most men insist on paying. If we're planning a date and I suggest something like a walk, and he says "let me take you for coffee first" I'm going to assume he's going to pay. If he says "can I take you to dinner," or something similar as well I will assume he's going to pay. Then I often offer to pay the next time.
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    Font - aileron_control · 2 days ago Dude, dating at 150$ a pop is too pricey for a first date. Go for a coffee date or max 4 drinks each no appetizer no food. 50$ max.
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    Font - odeccitka · 2 days ago To me, the person who asks the other one out, pays. I often ask guys out and pay the tab. I hate doing the half thing. We can alternate who pays. If the cost is an issue, don't go to expensive places on first dates.
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    Font - asmallsoftvoice · 2 days ago Men usually do pay because they do the asking, but i think women should be prepared to offer. But if someone asked me out to a place where the tab is $150 then I would fully expect he is paying because why would you choose an abnormally expensive place if it isn't his treat? I'd be ordering water.
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    Font - Outlandish92 - 1 day ago I also go with the theory of the date planner getting the tab unless explicitly discussed previously. That being said, this goes for when I go out with friends, too, but that's just the system we've had for almost a decade. If I plan the date, I pay. If they plan, they pay. I am always up to mix it up if it's spoken about.
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    Font - odeccitka · 2 days ago I don't like the splitting process. I don't know.just rubs me the wrong way. Splitting it denotes pettiness to me. Even with my friends, we take turns paying, not splitting. In dating, it would be a big turn off for me. And again. I pay half the time, so I'm not after free food and booze.
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    Smile - temp225566 · 1 day ago If some guy said the word "halfsies", it would be a turn off. That's not even a word.
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    Font - GBDM78 · 2 days ago I'm a woman and I don't let the guy pay for the first meeting. I always preface the first meeting by saying that I will pay for myself.
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    Font - Zelldandy · 2 days ago Same. It's a good way to avoid "But you owe me" statements.
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    Font - pinzinella - 1 day ago I always go 50/50, unless he insists of paying. I've noticed men from certain cultures want to pay, while local men often assume it's 50/50. I'm prepared to pay for myself and gesture it.
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    Font - jes113 · 1 day ago I always assume I am paying my half. I had a situation where the guy asked me out and when we got there he acted like he didn't have any money complaining about the prices I ended up paying for both of us. Later he did pay for breakfast another day. But still if you can't pay your part dont invite.
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    Font - hbouhl · 2 days ago I like to pay for my meal on the first date. I don't EXPECT a man to pay. If he insists, I do thank him profusely.
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    Font - joe1max · 2 days ago I typically go someplace nice, but affordable for the first date. Like a local cafe that serves good sandwiches. I assume that I will pay, but more often than not it is split. I honestly think women like low key places to chat on the first date.
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    Font - eapic1 · 2 days ago $150 first date..that's a lot of risk. As a dude I always paid but $150 might be a little much the first time. Maybe head out to a lounge, bar or club on first date..or a movie or a show. I would expect her to offer but I wouldn't have let her раy.

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