Small Business Owner Wonders if They’re Wrong for Forcing Manager To Pick Between Demotion or Termination Following No-show

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/Absolut_Failure 1210 S AITA for telling an employee she can choose between demotion or termination? I own a vape shop. We're a small business, only 12 employees. One of my employees, Peggy, was supposed to open yesterday. Peggy has recently been promoted to Manager, after 2 solid years of good work as a cashier. I really thought she could handle the responsibility. So, I wake up, 3 hours after the place should be open, and I have 22 notifications on the store Facebook page. Cu
  • 02
    Font - I call Peggy, and get no response. I text her, same thing. So I go in and open the store. An hour before her shift was supposed to be over, she calls me back. I ask her if she's ok, and she says she needed to "take a mental health day and do some self-care". I'm still pretty pissed at this point, but I'm trying to be understanding, as I know how important mental health can be. So I ask her why she didn't call me as soon as she knew she needed the day off. Her response: "I didn't have enou
  • 03
    Font - She's calling me all sorts of "-ist" now, and says I'm discriminating against her due to her poor mental health and her gender. None of this would have been a problem if she simply took 2 minutes to call out. I would have got up and opened the store on time. But this no- call/no-show shit is not the way to run a successful business. I think I might be the AH here, because I am taking away her promotion over something she really had no control over. But at the same time, she really could h
  • 04
    Font - iolaus79 Asshole Aficionado [11] ΝΤΑ You aren't taking it away because of her gender or poor mental health You are reacting to her not following the sickness policy of contacting you before her shift TBH not showing up or contacting anyone I wouldn't have been giving her the choice (however check that legally you are ok with that) 30.0k Share Absolut_Failure OP I gave her the choice because I kinda feel like the whole thing is my fault. I promoted her past her level of success. She was/is
  • 05
    Font - Salt-Superior Partassipant [2] & 20 More The "spoons" thing is referring to Spoon Theory. A psychological theory regarding the amount of energy it takes someone to perform a task. In this example, a "normal" person might need 1 spoon yo call out, but someone with mental/chronic illness might need 4. Essentially a way of explaining that it can be harder to do things when you have mental illnesses, in a quantifiable way. That being said, as a neurodivergent person, it is complete and utter
  • 06
    Font - If she didn't have enough spoons to work, fine. But if she can't be trusted to uphold her managerial duties, mental health or otherwise, she doesn't deserve that responsibility. She doesn't deserve the raise and title that go with it. NTA EDIT: there have been a lot of comments saying the the Spoon Theory was actually initially in reference to chronic illness. I've only ever seen it in reference to neurodivergence, so I apologize for being incorrect there. 18.5k Share
  • 07
    Font - Absolut_Failure OP Thank you for explaining the whole spoons thing. I wasn't sure what she was talking about at all! 7.6k Share
  • 08
    Font - Mulberry-Longjumping NTA. I'm a manager as well and fully believe in the importance of mental health days and taking care of your mental wellbeing as much as your physical wellbeing. However, an employee just going AWOL like that is not ok. If they didn't have the spoons to call, they should have gotten a trusted friend or family member to call instead. Or texted and thrown their phone across the room. I would happily make a last minute callout work. Damaging the business by no-showing is
  • 09
    Font - It's the same as someone calling out half an hour before opening because they've gotten sudden onset diarrhoea. Just call or text or tell someone you can't make it. Basically, don't demote or fire her but put her on a type of probation and make it explicitly clear that you value her wellbeing but she can't no show. 3.4k Share
  • 10
    Font - Absolut_Failure OP Basically, don't demote or fire her but put her on a type of probation and make it explicitly clear that you value her wellbeing but she can't no show. I wish I would have thought of that one! Maybe in the morning I can offer that as a compromise. 1.6k Share
  • 11
    Font - oopsthoughtoutloud Partassipant [4] NTA. you don't have enough spoons in your drawer to deal with incompetent managers. 2.7k Share forceofslugyuk Seriously. She is incompetent as a manager (not as a person, or cashier, just manager). She would rather risk EVERONE's job because of her mental health than make a phone call. 512 Share
  • 12
    Font - o Rattata- Partassipant [1] NTA, her being irresponsible cost your business money. 1.6k Share Absolut_Failure OP I kind of feel conflicted about the whole thing because, sure, she cost me maybe a few hundred bucks. But sometimes mental health can literally be a life or death scenario, and I truly believe that her life is worth more than the money I lost. That's why I was hoping she would just take her old job back. She was really good at it. But I think I gave her more responsibility then
  • 13
    Font - TWAndrewz Has she no-showed as a cashier before? Was this totally new behavior for her? 934 Share Absolut_Failure OP She's called out 6 times in 2 years, and all of them were with plenty of notice. This came out of the blue. 1.1k Share SuaveThrower She probably can't handle the stress of the manager position. Which is exactly why she shouldn't have it anymore. 826 Share

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