Unreasonable Manager Pressures Employee To Eat Lunch With Their Coworkers

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 4, 2023 4:00 PM EDT

Remember the days when finding the right place to eat lunch in the cafeteria was the most high-stake decision you could make? When you're in school, it really is critical to find a group and stick with them during your 45 minutes of freedom. If you don't have a group you can tolerate eating with every day, you might end up eating lunch in the stairwell, which I definitely did not do during my sophomore year of high school. Luckily, eating lunch alone is a lot less of a big deal when you're an adult. In fact, most people just want to watch a YouTube video and eat their sandwich in peace. Unfortunately, many bosses and managers are still invested in a high school idea of lunch, where everyone is socializing and making connections during these few moments of spare time. One employee was pressured by such a manager, and their strategy to avoid this fate is aspirational. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/antiwork u/Thisnickname - 20h Team leader told us we need to eat our lunch in the break room with everyone else
    via u/Thisnickname
  • 02
    Font - My manager told us in a team meeting that our branch director asked that, from now on, every employee should eat lunch and spend lunch time in the lunch break room with everyone else. They have not made this mandatory, but it was basically implied that we need to comply to avoid being excluded from the team socially. This requirement comes from the fact that many employees use their lunch time to do other solo activities, like :
    via u/Thisnickname
  • 03
    Font - ● ● ● ● ● Taking a walk outside Making personal calls Listening to podcasts Going back home for lunch Going out to a restaurant Making personal errands
    via u/Thisnickname
  • 04
    Font - Now the director wants to stop that to improve team cohesion and favour exchanging and talking with coworkers over lunch time instead. So, for now, I will continue to listen to podcasts and walk on my lunch break, because I consider it my time to unwind. I already spend from 08h30am to 04h30pm at work, 5 days a week. Why can't I enjoy 50 minutes of alone time per day on my lunch break?
    via u/Thisnickname
  • 05
    Font - deez_87 19h If you're off the clock they can't force you to do that. It's your time. Do what you want Reply 1.7k
    via u/deez_87
  • 06
    Font - Thisnickname OP. 19h For sure! That's what I plan to do. I wonder if they'll confront me about it or if they'll just let it slide and give me the side eye and cold shoulder. ... 535
    via u/Thisnickname
  • 07
    Font - chesti_larue • 10h Say, "when I get paid for my lunch break, I'|| eat in the break room, but until I'm compensated, I'll be taking my unpaid lunch outside." ... 362
    via u/chesti_larue
  • 08
    Human body - dma_pdx. 4h Hell even if salaried, I don't want to take lunches with coworkers 60
    via u/dma_pdx
  • 09
    Font - MsWumpkins • 19h I'm pretty confident this has already been settled in court (in the US) and companies cannot require you to even stay on site during lunch. It's not paid time.
    via u/MsWumpkins
  • 10
    Font - They can dictate where you eat if you eat on lunch, but this is the capacity of safety and cleanliness. For example, I used to work in a lab with both biological contaminants and radiological contaminants. We couldn't even have chewing gum. We did have a seperate space nearby for breaks including lunch. We "required" to use that space, but it was primarily because our primary workspace could result in injury or death (in theory.)
    via u/MsWumpkins
  • 11
    Font - They cannot dictate socialize unless they're paying for the lunch event. If you have colleagues who do not want to group lunches, join forces and develop standard responses to decline the unenforceable mandate. Review any HR policies that are related. Most important - are not stick together on the issue.
    via u/MsWumpkins
  • 12
    Font - I've personally had this fight in my career in 3 seperate levels: Individual contributor, supervisor, and advisor. It's absolutely true that group breaks and lunches can build a stronger team...in certain circumstances. If you have a team of white, Christian Republicans, they're probably gonna love group lunches. Throw in a BIPOC person, a Jewish person, an LGBTQ+ person, and/or just a Neurodivergent person and those lunches will get less popular. Honestly, they'll probably turn into a na
    via u/MsWumpkins
  • 13
    Font - I like given people the option to each lunch with their coworkers. I hate mandating it because not everyone wants to socialize. The best teams are teams where work quality and timeliness is the priority. We don't need to have the same hobbies to work effectively. We need to have the same expectations and standards. ... Reply 233
    via u/MsWumpkins
  • 14
    Font - Thisnickname OP. 19h Great insights! There are for sure employees who absolutely love to socialize and eat lunch. One in particular very bluntly asked me "why are you never eating lunch with us??" Caught me off guard. 492
    via u/Thisnickname
  • 15
    Font - zerkrazus 14h ● "why are you never eating lunch with us??" Because I don't want to? Conversely to them: "Why do you never eat lunch alone?" This is like people who ask someone "Why are you so quiet?" 438
    via u/zerkrazus
  • 16
    Font - MaleficentExtent1777 • 19h I HATE having lunch in break rooms. They're so noisy, and I don't want to be involved in others' conversations. Plus I don't want to listen to a TV if one is in there. My lunch break is my time. ... 475 75
    via u/MaleficentExtent1777
  • 17
    Font - ktappe 14h ● The noise is annoying...but even worse is the smell. I absolutely detest the smell created when a bunch of different lunches intermingle and make a putrid odor that can only be described as "cafeteria funk". I've hated it since elementary school and will not be forced to endure it for no good reason. ... 437
    via u/ktappe
  • 18
    Font - pupper71 14h I need to be alone someplace quiet on breaks if I'm to so my job properly the rest of the day. Not everyone is an extrovert. G 432 ..
    via u/pupper71
  • 19
    Plant - Spirited-Detective86 - 19h Did mandatory employee lunches as requested, then took my lunch break. They never made them mandatory again. ... Reply 279
    via u/Spirited-Detective86
  • 20
    Font - Persian_Ninja - 16h I've done that before at one of my old jobs. The UM decided to create a similar policy about not leaving during lunches. So my team attended the "team lunch" and did not clock out for it. When it was over we all clocked out and left. Fun thing in CA, if you are working full time you have to take your lunch by the 5th hour, if not they are required to pay 1 hour meal premium for the violation. To say the lease, the UM was not our UM much longer after that. 4110
    via u/Persian_Ninja
  • 21
    Font - summertimeandthe. 20h What if you smoke? Can you blaze a cigarette in the break room too? Reply 451 ↓ ...
    via u/summertimeandthe
  • 22
    Font - Thisnickname OP • 20h Everyone knows smoker get unlimited 10 minute breaks throughout the day. /s 分114凸
    via u/Thisnickname
  • 23
    Font - Penile_purgatory. 18h Sadly, I don't think that comment deserves a /s. Obviously, I'm a nonsmoker 432 32
    via u/Penile_purgatory
  • 24
    Organism - Thisnickname OP. 18h Truth Imao. I worked a job once where my smoking coworker was CONSTANTLY taking breaks to go outside and smoke. Probably spent 1/3 of the work day smoking outside. 430 30
    via u/Thisnickname
  • 25
    Font - MelbKat 19h ● Just keep doing what you prefer on your lunchbreaks. I used to work for a company that LOVED to have everyone sit and eat together. Every time someone made a comment I had a one word response:
    via u/MelbKat
  • 26
    Font - "Don't you like eating with us?" No. "Are you antisocial?" Yes. "Will you join us for lunch today?" No. "Will you ever have lunch with us?" No. Eventually they got the message and stopped asking. ... Reply 36
    via u/MelbKat
  • 27
    Human body - AND GUNS COFFEE Secretagentman94 - 19h Socialize, damn you! We're a family here! Reply 27
    via u/Secretagentman94
  • 28
    Rectangle - Thisnickname OP. 19h : 491
    via u/Thisnickname
  • 29
    Font - jackatman 19h Know. Your. Rights. The employee must be completely relieved from duty for the purposes of eating regular meals. Ordinarily 30 minutes or more is long enough for a bona fide meal period. A shorter period may be long enough under special conditions. The employee is not relieved if he is required to perform any duties, whether active or inactive, while eating. For example, an office employee who is required to eat at his desk
    via u/jackatman
  • 30
    Rectangle - Point out in a polite response this request could open them up to leagl trouble and they may want to pull back. Reply 471 + ...
    via u/jackatman
  • 31
    Font - Thisnickname OP. 19h For now, they just mentioned it in passing during a meeting, but if they ever push me around or put it in writing, I'll for sure get HR/ legal involved. We're a 50k employees company. I have ressources. 440
    via u/Thisnickname
  • 32
    Font - ktappe 14h A 50K employee company is micromanaging to the point of enforcing when and where people eat? One wonders if this person's higher-ups know about his edict. I'd anonymously inform them. 19 19
    via u/ktappe

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