‘She Needs to Pay Her Own Way’ : Wealthy in Laws Refuse to Pay For Daughter in Law in All Inclusive Family Vacation, Put Son In Awkward Position

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Apr 23, 2023 11:00 PM EDT

With Christmas right around the corner, people are booking vacations left and right. If you're wealthy, you may also be paying for your family members to join you, which is pretty awesome. Nothing like a quick getaway from the stress of work to start your new year with.The thing is that, when you get married, you are essentially also 'marrying' your partner's family... and you gotta be careful with who you pick — because if your spouse isn't gonna have your back regarding different family matters that will pop up, that's definitely gonna be a problem.

 

When scouring the 'AITA' subreddit, you will find no scarcity of posts that prove some people married the wrong person. We feel strongly that married people should act and decide things as a unit when family vacations are in question. And if your parents are purposely excluding your spouse… you gotta step up, man. Scroll down to read a post written by somebody who obviously doesn't agree. 

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  • 01
    Rectangle - Posted by u/throwawayl8rbye 11 hours ago AITA for going a on trip with my family that my wife isn't going on?
    via u/throwawayl8rbye
  • 02
    Font - Recently my parents surprised me(26m) and my siblings(16 and 19) with a ski trip this December the day after Christmas. my parents offered to pay for my expenses and said that my wife(24) was welcome to come, but she would need to pay her way. My wife and I are okay financially, but with the trip being so close to Christmas we wouldn't be able to afford to pay for her to go. Despite this I really wanted to go on the trip as it was always a dream of mine to go on a trip like this.
    via u/throwawayl8rbye
  • 03
    Font - My family grew up dirt poor until I was about 15 when my parents business took off and now they extremely comfortable and can afford to pay for trips like this for us. They could certainly afford to pay for my wife to also go, but they have always been this way when it comes to paying for things for me versus my wife. My parents think it's only fair to pay for me when we go out to eat or go on trips because they are still paying for my siblings. I don't ask them too, but it is nice to sav
    via u/throwawayl8rbye
  • 04
    Font - This has always bothered my wife especially after we got married and they still excluded her so in these past 2 years since we got married so I tried to limit the trips since they bother her so much, but this is a once and a lifetime trip for me so I thought she would be supportive of me going, but she's very upset and hurt. She wants to go on the trip, but like I said we just can't afford it, which she understands. She told me she does want me to have this experience, but she is sad beca
    via u/throwawayl8rbye
  • 05
    Font - prairiemountainzen Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] 11 hr. ago "They could certainly afford to pay for my wife to also go, but they have always been this way when it comes to paying for things for me versus my wife." So, you are well aware that your parents are intentionally excluding your wife (and apparently, this is definitely not the first time) and you don't understand why she's so hurt and upset about this, especially when it's during
    via u/throwawayl8rbye
  • 06
    Font - Christmas? Think about it, dude. Think real hard. YTA. 21.1k Reply Share
    via u/throwawayl8rbye
  • 07
    Font - haleystudio 10 hr. ago Could they pay for her now, and you pay them back over time? I don't entirely agree with the situation but if she can go, you should figure out how to make it happen. 43.9k Reply Share
    via u/throwawayl8rbye
  • 08
    Font - prairiemountainzen. 10 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] But if she's the only one having to pay them back, when the parents are so financially comfortable that they don't even need her to, then they are still going out of their way to exclude her. OP needs to stand up for his wife and draw a boundary with his parents: if they won't include her in family events/trips, then he won't be participating either.
    via u/throwawayl8rbye
  • 09
    Font - pray4mojo2020 a 10 hr. ago 3 & 2 More Also the way he says that she would have to pay her own way. Nah, dude. If your parents will only pay 50% of your costs for going together, then you as a couple have to pay the other 50%. It is absolutely not on her alone.
    via k
  • 10
    Font - docasj 9 hr. ago That's the part that gets me. He doesn't even consider going halfsies with his wife, he prefers to just exclude her altogether. OPS wife has a husband problem more than an in-law problem Reply Share 3.4k
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  • 11
    Font - Any Quality4534 · 8 hr. ago I wonder if they will pay for his divorce. This could be happening sooner than later. Reply Share 1.0k
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  • 12
    Font - ayeayefitlike 2 hr. ago Exactly. OP does realise they are a financial unit, and IMO that's what he needs to make clear to his parents. 'This sounds like an amazing trip, unfortunately we can't afford to pay for it so we'll
    via k
  • 13
    Font - have to decline.' 'But son, we're paying for you.' 'I appreciate that and thank you, but my wife and I don't do vacations separately, especially at Christmas, and we can't afford to pay for this trip.'
    via k
  • 14
    Font - 'But you can come! 'I'm sure you haven't realised it, but that would mean going on vacation and leaving my wife at home alone at Christmas. We all know that's not an option.' And repeat firmly ad nauseum. The parents need it
    via k
  • 15
    Font - made completely clear that his wife is part of the family too, and if they want all the kids there the wife is part of the package. OP needs to stand firm and make it clear his finances are hers, and that by expecting his wife's share to be paid by him and his wife means the trip isn't feasible for him.
    via k
  • 16
    Font - Ashamed Dragonfly4453 3 hr. ago For sure, but his parents clearly don't view them as a unit (they will only pay for him, not her), and he seems not to have a problem with that. I wonder if he's ever pointed out to his parents that by refusing to pay for her, they're costing OP+wife as a couple?
    via k
  • 17
    Font - If they do indeed have joint finances, it's bizarre that the parents are framing it this way: singling the wife out, rather than saying, e.g. that they will pay half of their costs as a couple. That feels like a deliberate exclusion tactic, and OP either doesn't realise, or is prepared to accept it.
    via k

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marriage annoying kids relationships financial couples in laws ridiculous love family Reddit rude holidays parents vacation
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