Nobody ever tells you that when you marry your best friend, you're signing up for a lifetime of sharing and glaring. You share bank accounts, then glare at them for spending $378.55 at Target again. You share a bed, then glare at them for stealing all of the covers again. You share a beautiful kitchen, then glare at them whenever they're standing in front of the drawer you need to access (which is pretty much constantly). When you signed that pesky paperwork when you were in your 20's, you had no clue that it would change your daily life decades later. Now, you're sending memes to each other constantly and talking smack on all of your other friends when they leave your house party. Most importantly, you and your spouse enable each other to eat all the junk food you desire, even if you just bought groceries, because it sounds a heckuvalot better than doing dishes tonight and you can each get chubby together in peace now.