Woman Puts Greedy Neighbor in Her Place After She Attempts to Leave Potluck with Leftovers Despite Never Contributing, Other Guests Question Harshness

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Nov 18, 2024 6:00 PM EST

Welcome, women of the World Wide Web. Hosting a proper dinner party can take a lot of effort and planning. The more guests, the trickier it is to coordinate. Figuring out a menu that all guests will enjoy and tailoring it to avoid any allergies and food restrictions is only the first step. Next comes juggling the task of cooking multiple dishes at once so that they will all be ready by dinner time, entertaining your guests, and cleaning the mess that they left behind. For these reasons, many young hosts opt for potlucks. Guests can bring whatever they fancy and take their dirty dishes back home with them when all is said and done, cutting down on half the host's work. 

Potlucks are also a great way to get to know people better by sharing and trying beloved dishes. If you are not gifted in the kitchen, it is always polite to still bring something — beverages, extra plates, or a dip — to a potluck. Rest assured, if you find yourself short on time or money, no one will kick you out if you come empty-handed, unless you make it a habit — as was the case in our story today! Get all the details down below. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    r/AITAH u/Kind-Section6364. 1d AITAH for refusing to give leftovers to a potluck guest who did not chip in
    via u/Kind-Selection6364
  • 02
    So we lived for nearly 20 years in a townhouse complex with a lot of neighbours about the same age. A bunch of us got friendly and would gather on someone's patio or roof deck for happy hour once or twice a week. It was understood to be BYOB and so everyone would show up with a drink or a glass of wine and maybe a bottle of wine for their own
    via u/Kind-Selection6364
  • 03
    refills. Except Betsy - she always came with a glass of water and tossed it back. Then she would grab someone else's bottle of wine and top up their glass whether they needed it or not, then pour a bunch in her glass. We always let it go because we figured she was broke and she never raided the same bottle twice.
    via u/Kind-Selection6364
  • 04
    Sometimes we would all throw our money together and order food for delivery - usually pizza - and Betsy always managed to eat two large helpings of the shared food. It took a while for us to clue in but some of us started noticing that Betsy always forgot her wallet and never really put any money into the pot, and we mentioned it to each other but never really did anything about it as it was kind of awkward.
    via u/Kind-Selection6364
  • 05
    The straw that broke the camel's back was the time happy hour/dinner was at our place. Betsy kept going into our fridge and pouring herself wine from our bottle. Then we all decided to order really good Thai food for delivery and Betsy as usual didn't contribute, and it was pretty expensive as we may kind of over ordered. As usual Betsy ate two huge helpings. When it came time for people to head home she packed up the leftover Thai food
    via u/Kind-Selection6364
  • 06
    containers and headed for the door, but I grabbed them from her and split them up into a few bags and gave them to others to take home, and didn't give any to her. She made a big stink about not getting any of the leftovers but I told her she didn't deserve any since she didn't contribute anything towards the food bill.
    via u/Kind-Selection6364
  • 07
    Some of the neighbours thought it was mean of me not to give her any leftovers, but others who had noticed Betsy never contributing thought I was in the right. Betsy broke into tears and took off, and stopped coming to happy hours with us. Was I the AH for not letting Betsy take the leftovers? Edit: I guess I was a bit of an a hole to her. I probably should just have asked her to take a plate of the leftovers but leave some for others. 7,958 ☐ 956 ✓ ☑
    via u/Kind-Selection6364
  • 08
    Pale MoonEnigma14 • 1d Betsy was taking advantage of your generosity and it was about time someone called her out on it. Keep those leftovers for the people who actually contribute and deserve them. Ntah ← Reply 2.6k
    via u/PaleMoonEnigma14
  • 09
    SiennaBerries • 1d she's obviously a freeloader and would keep taking without any remorse Д 566
    via u/SiennaBerries
  • 10
    quornmol 23h • i sometimes feel awkward taking my own drinks/ bottles home from parties bc some think it's an "unspoken rule" to leave the leftover drinks with the host. my opinion on that statement varies on the type of social hangout it is/how frequent they are.
    via u/quornmol
  • 11
    if it's summer time and someone regularly hosts bbqs i'll leave my leftovers there for next time but if it was like the story and the setting changed weekly id want to take my stuff home. id have done the same as OP and shut that down bc i'd be so mad if i couldnt take back what i paid for. 258
    via u/Kind-Selection6364
  • 12
    Pristine-Ice-5097 • 21h In your cooler = take it home with you In the host's fridge = leave it, it's theirs 166
    via u/Pristine-Ice-5097
  • 13
    Caspian4136 • 1d NTA She's been mooching off you guys for long enough. It's about time someone took a stand and put their foot down about it. She wasn't even taking a glass of wine here or there, but the whole thing was her coming empty handed and just helping herself to everyone else's food and drink. ← Reply 6.3k
    via u/Caspian4136
  • 14
    Tempting DesireBabe ⚫ 1d • If she's doing it for a while, it's time for her to realize she can't keep taking advantage of her hospitality. 1.9k
    via u/TemptingDesireBabe
  • 15
    Ok_Childhood_9774 • 1d NTA, and Betsy needs to be called out for her rude and entitled behavior. You've been too kind -make it clear that from now on, she contributes or goes hungry and thirsty. ... Reply 263
    via u/Ok_Childhood_9774
  • 16
    Used_Mark_7911 • 1d ΝΤΑ You don't even need to hint around. I think you can state it in very simply and direct terms to her: "Hey Betsy, you shouldn't expect to take leftovers a home if you didn't make any contributions to the meal."
    via u/Used_Mark_7911
  • 17
    I think you can also have heart to heart with her about good etiquette when sharing meals and socializing with friends, especially if she never hosts herself. For example, if she plans to drink wine, then she should bring a bottle of wine. If she thinks she doesn't drink that much, then she can bring a bottle every second time. Same goes for food. People don't mind providing food and drink for friends if the favor is returned once in a while but she can't always be on the receiving end. Reply 18
    via u/Used_Mark_7911
  • 18
    MarthaT001 • 1d NTA But quit inviting Betsy. Reply 454
    via u/MarthaT001
  • 19
    NTA CuriousLope • 1d Stop inviting this person, she is mooching off everyone. If she can forget her wallet, you can forget to invite her. Reply D 95
    via u/CuriousLope
  • 20
    Couette-Couette • 1d NTA. Even the broke students (I know for sure they are broke) always bring a little something to contribute when we do a gathering (chips, bread, juices) and they would never leave with leftovers... Reply 182
    via u/Couette-Couette
  • 21
    Material Cellist4133 23h NTA But start calling her out for her behavior... "How do you always manage to forget your wallet?" "Hey, that's my bottle, grab some from your own" "You never bring wine, but somehow your glass is always full with it" Embarrass her enough, she will stop ← Reply 143
    via u/Material_Cellist4133
  • 22
    ErisGale 20h • Totally NTA. Betsy was taking advantage for way too long. It's fair to expect contributions from everyone, even if it's something small. A friend of mine dealt with a similar mooch, and setting boundaries helped. Hopefully, Betsy learns to contribute in future gatherings. ... Reply 58
    via u/ErisGale
  • 23
    SoftwareMaintenance • 1d Grabbing the stolen food is being nice. I would dis- invite the mooch from the get together. Reply ୪ ↑ 47
    via u/SoftwareMaintenance
  • 24
    ArcaneQuil 19h It's totally fair to set boundaries. Betsy should contribute if she wants to enjoy the perks. Maybe have a gentle chat with her about the group's expectations, but you're not in the wrong for wanting fairness. It can be awkward, but sometimes honesty is necessary for group harmony. Reply 35
    via u/ArcaneQuil

Tags

toxic Female Empowerment adulting millennials reddit story relationships Party couples dinner love adulthood entitled boundaries reddit thread red flag Reddit entitled people
Scroll Down For The Next Article