'Why women have babies with men like you is beyond me': Dude wants to use paternity leave to take a vacation away from his wife and kid

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    Rectangle - "My wife says this is unacceptable and that I'm prioritizing my family over her and the baby."
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    Font - WIBTA if I used part of my leave to visit my paternity family? My wife and I have been arguing about this for weeks and she suggested I post here. My wife is 16 weeks pregnant with our first child. We have been discussing how to use our family leave. Each of us get 8 weeks of family leave to be used within the first year of the baby's life. My wife is planning on taking her whole 8 weeks right when the baby in born.
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    Font - She thinks that I should take 2 weeks when the baby is born and 6 weeks when she goes back to work so that we don't need to put the kid in childcare until he's 14 weeks old. The issue is that I want to use 2 weeks of my paternity leave to visit my family who live out of state so I don't have to use vacation days. I gave her two options: 1. I can spend 6 weeks with the baby when she goes back to work but I won't take the first 2 weeks off. 2. I can take 2 weeks off when the baby is born an
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    Font - My wife says this is unacceptable and that I'm prioritizing my family over her and the baby. I disagree. I don't think it makes much of a difference if the baby starts daycare at 12 or 14 weeks. I only get to see my family once or twice a year since they moved out of state and I think this is a good opportunity to do so without it impacting our vacation time. I think her dislike of my family is affecting her logic and that, if they got along better, she would be fine with this arrangement
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    Font - onedayatatime08 13 hr. agg & 2 More 2 Colo-rectal Surgeon [35] YTA. Paternity leave is meant for you to be with the baby, not go on vacation. Wtf? Why women have babies with men like you is beyond me. 52.1k Reply Shar
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    Font - lynypixie 13 hr. ago YTA It's not just starting daycare at 12 weeks. It's leaving your wife behind with a newborn all by herself on top of working, while you go relax with your family. THAT is a seriously hole move. You are clearly clueless about how draining having a baby is. If you go, you might come back to changed locks and divorce papers. 22.8k Reply Share
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    Font - FutilePancake79. 12 hr. ago Let me tell you, from my experience, that it is 1000x easier being a single mom than having an inattentive, self-absorbed "father" around. Less mess, less stress, less headache 100 10.0k Reply
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    Font - Infusion-delusion. 13 hr. ago YTA Unless you're planning on taking the baby with you when you go visit your family. Oh, and maybe your wife can go too? Nice try to get out of parenting a young baby for a whole FORTNIGHT, leaving your wife to cope completely alone back home. Disgusting AH move. 12.4k Reply Share
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    Font - PinkPrincess1224. 13 hr. ago YTA and really if you're using paternity leave for a vacation you are committing fraud. Your wife is literally making a whole person from scratch and going to tear her body apart to bring your child into this world and you think you deserve a vacation? You're a huge hole. 12.1k Reply Share
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    Font - dobie_dobes 12 hr. ago . This right here. Parental leave is for taking care of a new child (or if family leave, another immediate family member). Not a bloody vacation. 2.2k Reply Share
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    Font - Ok_Butterfly_3174. 13 hr. ago edited 13 hr. ago YWBTA Use the parental leave, which is dismal amount in reality, for the baby. Don't try to use it for holidays. bar for men low already The f is so f when it comes to be a decent father/husband. Don't aim to be below the bar ✩ 8.7k Reply Share
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    Font - Lobster-mom 12 hr. ago This man saw a bar on the ground and said "dang where's my shovel" 3.8k Reply
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    Font - Neenknits 13 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [44] YTA. If I were your mother, you would be hearing about it. From all the way out of state... and you wouldn't need a phone. So, you are proposing your wife be home alone with a newborn, or home alone, working, with an infant in day care, alone the rest of the day, and night, for 2 weeks, while you are on vacation? And your mother has not ripped you a new one? I wouldn't like her, either. 6.4k Reply Share
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    Font - oneblessedmess. 12 hr. ago This. I would be so embarrassed if my son was even thinking of abandoning his wife and infant child like that. 2.4k Reply Share
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    Font - NWmoose 13 hr. ago You are completely underestimating the absolute blur of physical pain/sleep deprivation that is having a new baby if you think this is "vacation time". YTA 4.4k Reply Share
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    Font - veni_vidi_dixi 12 hr. ago edited 12 hr. ago 2 Your first act as a father is going to be stealing resources from your newborn baby. Of course YTA 3.8k Reply Share

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