'I got married on Saturday and my kids found out': Kids think their father is the AH for getting remarried two months after their mother passed away

Advertisement
  • 01
    Plant - "AITA for not asking my kids to come to my wedding after they RSVP'd no."
  • 02
    Font - AITA for not asking my kids to come to my wedding after they RSVP'd no. Not the A-hole My kids were young when I left their mother. She decided that she preferred the company of another man to mine. I was heartbroken and humiliated but I dealt fairly in the divorce. My alimony and child support were set and I never missed one payment or a chance to spend time with my kids. Beyond our scheduled time together I did all the dad stuff I came to see them perform in school plays and play sports
  • 03
    Font - When she remarried my alimony ended but obviously not the child support. She had another kid with her husband. When my kids were 18 and 17 their mom was diagnosed with cancer and it was very aggressive. She ended up needing a lot of expensive treatment and it ended her marriage. He left because of the debts and he could not care for her. I don't really know more than that.
  • 04
    Font - She didn't make it five years. I felt bad at the time but it had nothing to do with me any more. I had just become engaged to my fiancee. I sent my kids invitations to my wedding. It was just small in my back yard. They both said they would not be attending and that I was heartless for getting married just two months after their mom died. I said that I understood their grief and that I hoped they changed their minds. And then I dropped it. I got married on Saturday and my kids found out.
  • 05
    Font - I just said that they knew the time and place and I would have made room for them and had food if they had shown up. They are both pissed at me but I don't think I'm wrong for not changing my plans over the death of a woman I divorced over a decade ago. Edit. Sorry. I forgot and it is important. The invitations were sent before she died.
  • 06
    Font - EDIT. My kids are in university. I do not live in the same city as them. From the moment their mom went into hospice care I checked in on them every day. Sometimes a call but usually a text. We didn't always connect but we did connect. The invitations went out four months before the wedding. We planned the wedding to happen over the winter break so my kids and my new wife's children could attend. We saw the kids at Thanksgiving and we had a long cry together over their mother. They sent t
  • 07
    Font - UsuallyWrite2. 1 day ago Pooperintendant [55] 1. the weddings was planned and invites sent before she died. 2. you'd been divorced for more than a decade. 3. you invited them formally. They declined. I get that they're kids and they've just lost their mother which is a horrible loss. But you've done nothing wrong here. ΝΤΑ 19.2k Reply Share
  • 08
    Font - cjohnson2136. 23 hr. ago I get that they're kids Except they aren't kids...they are 22/23 at least 4.4k Reply Share
  • 09
    Font - newbeginingshey. 1 day ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [34] ΝΤΑ You invited them. They declined. I don't understand why they expected you to interpret their RSVP of No as a "please come beg us to come anyway." You're not psychic. I also don't understand why they "found out" you got married on the date listed on the invitation that they clearly read and responded to. They already knew because you told them. 5.9k Reply Share
  • 10
    Font - GullibleNerd88 - 23 hr. ago NTA. They regret missing your wedding and are still raw from their mothers death so blaming you is the only logical thing they can think of. 3.5k Reply Share
  • 11
    Font - Gawd4 22 hr. ago logical "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." 654 Reply
  • 12
    Font - • HeyTroyBoy 1 day ago edited 23 hr. ago From what I'm reading above I'm going to say NTA. It's been over a decade since you've divorced and it would appear that you have done your due diligence inviting them to the wedding. You invited them before she passed away and they said no. Then they came back and asked you to change the date?
  • 13
    Font - Personal opinion as I've lost a parent recently: there is no specific timeframe for grievance but I think 2 months is not an inconsiderate timeframe. It's been over a decade since you were marriage ended and she has obviously moved on and I think you are in the right of moving on as well. From what you say above you did all the things you were expected to do in terms of dad stuff. 1.4k Reply Share
  • 14
    Font - DJ_Too_Supreme - 23 hr. ago NTA. They said no and you respected that. What else are you suppose to do? I'm sorry for the lost of their mom but there really isn't much you can do 743 Reply Share
  • 15
    Font - 101bees 23 hr. ago. edited 23 hr. ago NTA. They RVSP'd they couldn't come, and anyone that's planned a wedding before knows they're not exactly easy to reschedule, even small ones. If they wanted alternative arrangements, and wanted to make it but couldn't because they were preoccupied with their mother's illness, they should have said something.
  • 16
    Font - Also, this is a woman you've been divorced from for several years. I don't think anyone should expect you to put your life on hold because someone that's not in your life anymore passed away. 4 524 Reply Share
  • 17
    Font - CJsMom2000 23 hr. ago Well I'm going to say NAH. You are NTA as from what I'm seeing the date was set and invitations were sent before she died. You didn't purposely get married 2 months after their mother died to hurt anyone. I also don't think they are AHS for being hurt and grieving, I just think they are taking their pain out on you, which isn't fair, but I don't think it makes them AHs. You clearly didn't set out to hurt them, this whole situation just hurts. They need to find a way

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article