12 Passive-Aggressive Animal Ratings That Made Us LOL

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Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Mar 4, 2023 5:00 PM EST

Hey y'all - have you ever wished you were a judge on America's Got Talent, or The Voice, so you could judge people with impunity? Have you ever sat down in Starbucks, drinking your venti triple-chocolate mocha, extra whip, no foam, three pumps of raspberry syrup coffee and silently judged everyone that ordered after you? If this tone sounds familiar to you, then you're probably going to love these passive-aggressive animal ratings. 

These satirical and pawsitively hysterical animal memes are worth the read if you need a good chuckle. They're the perfect amount of sass, passive-aggressive, and downright comical. Our favorite is probably the review of the human baby, which we shared with our sister who just had one of her own. She approved, which means that there is some hilarious truth in all of these. So take another sip of that coffee and put on your judge's robe because Judge Judy is in the house!

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  • 01
    Reptile - Turtles - A Review Turtles are very nice 5 stars very nice @welcometomymemepage @wtmmp
    via @welcometomymemepage, @wtmmp
  • 02
    Font - Snakes - A Review ver For centuries Snakes have fascinated the imagination of man kind. So far we have learned 2 things about their Power. 1. they can Bite 2. they are Tubes I rate Snakes 4 stars out of 5 for their Dedication and their Respect. One star has been deducted because we do not know how they move, and that is Untrustworthy. respect dedication untrustworthy
    via @welcometomymemepage, @wtmmp

    How do they move? They just slither around, but where does the force come from? It's probably black magic, and that's why they're untrustworthy. We agree with this rating, but they failed to account that people can draw little arms on snakes, and that makes them much cuter and more trustworthy.

  • 03
    Font - Badgers - A Review Badgers are very sad creatures that I do not give a Damn about. They have never been there for me. All they do is Dig and eat WORMS. One day they will Dig themselves straight in to Hell and no one will be sorry about it. I rate Badgers 1 star for their Screaming ability which I can admire but 4 stars have been deducted out of Spite. impressive yelling just awful @welcometomymemepage @wtmmp
    via @welcometomymemepage, @wtmmp

    If you've ever met a badger before in real life, you know that they can be some mean little buggers. Super aggressive, don't listen to you when you are having a bad day, and they always scream over you when you're trying to talk. 1 star is a nice review for them.

  • 04
    Arthropod - Spiders - A Review Don't let how spindly and leggy they are fool you these little beasts will also bite the hell out of you just for fun. Spiders are famous for Dangling, Tangling, and Scrangling, and they do not Sleep, and they cannot be kept Out, and they cannot be Killed. I rate them 4 stars out of 5 for putting the fear of God into the right people. One star has been deducted for over-enthusiasm. divine terror calm down @welcometomymemepage @wtmmp
    via @welcometomymemepage, @wtmmp
  • 05
    Jellyfish - A Review Here I will make my case for the Criminality of Jellyfish, who, in my humble opinion, and in the eyes of God, are all Cowards. Jellyfish engage in horrendous behaviors including Murder and Racketeering, and Being Partially See-Through (Perverts). Eerily they drift - corrupting the Ocean! Their tentacles - delicate streamers which sail behind them like parade ribbons - are instruments of Sin. May these creatures all be arrested and arraigned, and may the Courts find them guil
    via @welcometomymemepage, @wtmmp
  • 06
    Arthropod - Crabs - A Review If you like Crabs then you will be pleased to know that there is a Crab for Everything. Some Crabs are long and spindly and some Crabs are short and fat, but all of them are built like Tanks, and all of them can Pinch. Some Crabs can pinch a smelly fish right out of mid air. I once heard that if you are too beautiful the Crabs might pinch you and never want to let go. rate Crabs 4 stars out of 5 for their Warfare capabilities. One star has been deducted for scurrying
    via @welcometomymemepage, @wtmmp
  • 07
    Elephant - Elephants - A Review Hell yeah Big Boys @welcometomymemepage @wtmmp
    via @welcometomymemepage, @wtmmp
  • 08
    Brown bear - Bears - A Review Despite their soft appearance, there is a Sharpness to Bears that makes it very difficult for them to socialize with others. You cannot give a Bear a Bounce House, because she would not Appreciate the gesture. She would read into it too much - since you gave HER a gift, does that mean you now expect her to give YOU one? Bears are overwhelmed by social calculations like this. They also have claws. I rate them 3 stars for being Otherwise Pleasant but two stars have be
    via @welcometomymemepage, @wtmmp
  • 09
    Font - Scorpions - A Review What would we do without Scorpions? A lot of things, probably, but they wouldn't be as exciting. Scholars have long noted the similarities between Scorpions and Lobsters, but here I will point out three key differences between them that make Scorpions exceptional: 1. Scorpions can get inside your Home all by themselves 2. They can Sting you very badly 3. They Enjoy doing this very much I rate Scorpions 4 stars out of 5 for their Prankster spirit and impressive Arsenal
    via @welcometomymemepage, @wtmmp
  • 10
    Fish - Fish - A Review Fish are incredibly complex and misunderstood animals with many Mysteries to their Nature. So that we may examine these creatures in full and without bias, I will first lay out the entirety of our current academic knowledge on Fish: 1. They smell like Trash 2. They look like Hell 3. They live in a giant Toilet Things are not looking good for Fish. I rate them 2 stars out of 5 for doing their best to eat all the plastic. 3 stars must be deducted for being Unpresentable. Env
    via @welcometomymemepage, @wtmmp
  • 11
    Jaw - Babies - A Review Nothing has Perplexed and Baffled Man Kind more than the simple Baby. At first glance Babies seem Greasy, Arrogant, and Helpless, but look again, and you will begin to see their Power. Babies scoot and shuffle around like little grubs eating Everything in their Path. They will eat Floor Lint. They will eat Ants. They will eat Beetles. They will eat Spiders. They will eat Metal. They will eat Glass. They will eat Window Cleaner. They do not care what they look like. They d
    via @welcometomymemepage, @wtmmp
  • 12
    Arthropod - Ants - A Review The first thing you need to know about ants is that they have a little thing that you DON'T. It's called Work Ethic. Ants go and Get Things Done while YOU sit on the COUCH and smoke WEED. You want to lie around being a Space Cadet playing Jumpy Jumpy Shooty Shooty bing bing wahoo VIDEO GAMES going NOWHERE with your life. Ants on the other hand are going Everywhere and they are getting into Everything, like the syrup bottle, or the juice pitcher. They are Unstoppable,
    via @welcometomymemepage, @wtmmp

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hilarious judge haha hysterical funny memes Memes lol funny animal memes animal memes passive aggressive judgmental funny animals
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