'I walked out': Mother keeps trying to set her kid up on dates against their will, cue dating fail

Advertisement
  • 01
    Table - "AITA for walking out of a date my mom set up?"
  • 02
    Font - AITA for waking out of a date my mum set up? Not the A-hole This happened a few days ago and I'm still getting aggresive messages from friends and family. IDk if I'm the hole or not, so I would love an outside perspective.
  • 03
    Font - I (nb, 20) am both aromantic and asexual (basically meaning that I only feel platonic love towards another person). I've been out to my whole family since I was around 16, so this isn't anything new, but my mum (50f) has set up multiple dates for me to go on, saying that its "just phase" and I "need to get over it". She will stop when I ask her to, but then she will set up another date. Rinse and repeat.
  • 04
    Font - Normally, I grin and bear it until we leave but this time, I had had enough. My family and I all sat down at a nice-ish restaurant and chatted for about 30 mins when my mum drags me over to another table where someone is already sitting. She introduces us and goes back to the other table. At this point, I have a small idea of what is happening and am pissed.
  • 05
    Font - Sam (fake name) started talking and seemed legititmately nice. I asked him if this was a daye or not and when he confirmed it, I apologised and explained that I didn't agree to the date and that I was, infact, aro/ace. He apologised back before I walked out and went home.
  • 06
    Font - A few hours later, my mum calls me and tears me a new one about me walking out of the restaurant and that I was immature for doing so. She then told friends and the other relatives about what happened. Some side with me, others don't. I need to know, AITA?
  • 07
    Font - EDIT - I've messaged my mum and told her that I'm going low contact with her until she can accept the fact that I don't want a romantic relationship. I am also searching for Sam.
  • 08
    Font - EDIT 2 - Mum threw a fit saying I cant do that to her, I'm her baby, she's only trying to look out for me. I've been talking to family members amd after an explanation of events, they agree to my PoV. Apparently, mum had been saying that I went out swearing and shouting like a toddler, when I just collected my things and left.
  • 09
    Font - EDIT 3 - I'VE FOUND SAM. We're planning to meet up on the weekend for coffee and cake. I shall update you then.
  • 10
    Font - Suchafatfatcat 20 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [24] NTA. Your mom is way out of line and being incredibly disrespectful to you. She owes both you and "Sam” an apology. 1.8k Reply Share
  • 11
    Font - Affectionate Event396 OP 19 hr. ago i'm thinking of trying to find "Sam" to apologgise again and to see if he'd be up for being friends instead. he seemed awesome ngl 1.3k Reply Share
  • 12
    Font - Automatic-River-1875. 19 hr. ago ΝΤΑ You did nothing wrong in this situation, you didn't get aggressive with the guy you just explained the situation, politely apologised and left (you didn't do anything wrong but it was still polite as he didn't either). Your mum needs to get grip and go a fi see a therapist. 612 Reply Share
  • 13
    Font - Affectionate Event396 OP • 19 hr. ago . Ive asked her so many times why I was immature and rude. all she says is 'you walked out and had a tantrum'. 338 Reply Share
  • 14
    Font - geordiehippo 19 hr. ago ΝΤΑ That's so messed up - not only did your mum set you up on a date when it was entirely inappropriate, but the rest of your family was sitting in the same restaurant. Even if you were looking for a date, it's not a spectator sport!
  • 15
    Font - Your mum is a real AH- why aren't you enough on your own? Why do you need another person to 'complete you'? If she's not careful she'll lose you because of her ridiculous pursuit. You may find a platonic partner/companion one day or you may not, but you are a complete person with or without another. 337 Reply Share
  • 16
    Font - Affectionate Event396 OP - 19 hr. ago this comment made me cry. ive asked her similar questions and all she says is that its how it should be. she's obsessed with the idea of a romantic soulmate idk why 208 Reply Share
  • 17
    Font - Encartrus 20 hr. ago NTA, first rule of relationships is always consent. Doesn't matter if its dating or more intimate matters. The moment she put you into a situation you didn't agree to like this she 100% became the hole. 137 Reply Share
  • 18
    Font - WhoaEazzzyTurbo. 20 hr. ago You are not the hole for your mom ignoring your desire to be asexual. That's on her. ↑ ⁹0 + Reply Share
  • 19
    Font - Affectionate Event396 OP . 20 hr. ago fun fact: according to her, no one is asexual, they just need to find the right guy who will "satisfy" them 113 Reply Share
  • 20
    Font - author124 19 hr. ago NTA you were polite to Sam, who clearly didn't realize that he had been roped into your mom's continued scheming, and your mom got a dose of reality. Even if you were interested in dating but happened to be single at the moment, her approach was way too extreme. She needs to respect your boundaries.
  • 21
    Font - Affectionate Event396 OP • 19 hr. ago . Sam seemed so genuinely awkward once i explained everything. turns out he thought i knew and had set it up myslelf.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article