‘[She] prioritizes jealousy over what’s best for the kids’: Toxic mom gets chewed out online for her immature actions after divorce

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
May 13, 2023 1:00 PM EDT

Divorce is never easy, especially when children are involved. When it is just a break up, it is still one of the most stressful situations you will go through. But then add kids into the mix and your feelings are not the top priority in this stressful situation anymore, the kids' are. You might be losing a partner, but your children are losing their childhood wonderment of having that picturesque happy family. So it is very important to help the children out the best you can during the divorce. 

That seems like pretty common knowledge though, right? Unfortunately, no. One toxic mother took to Reddit to try and get her entitlement and immature actions during the divorce and custody battle vindicated. However, Redditors were NOT having it. Not one person came to the toxic mother's aid, because she was clearly in the wrong. In fact, many were shocked at how she didn't see how immature she was being herself. Commenters made sure to thoroughly explain how she was being the a-hole in this situation and they actually side with the step-mom and now ex-husband in this situation. Read the story and see for yourself below.   

Advertisement
  • 01
    Hand - r/AmItheAsshole Posted by u/othermompost 6 hours ago 2 AITA for telling my kids not to bother visiting if they insist on calling another woman mom 2 13M
    via u/pexels-Ketut-Subiyanto

    Reddit post by u/othermompost

  • 02
    Font - My ex and I have 2 kids together (12f and 10f). We separated when they were 6 months and 2 years old, divorced at 1 and 3, and he remarried when they were 3 and 5. I've never gotten along with his wife because she seems convinced that she's my kids' mom. It's only gotten worse since I remarried and moved.
    via u/u/othermompost
  • 03
    Font - I tried to get primary custody of the kids when I moved but both of the kids asked to stay with their dad and their lawyer argued that they'd have to share a room with my stepkids and go to public school at my house while their dad has a house triple the size of mine where they'll have their own rooms and they'd go to a good private school so I ended up getting them every other weekend.
    via u/u/othermompost
  • 04
    Font - Their stepmom used to contact me constantly about foods they like/don't like/are sensitive to, not wanting the kids to have to share their toys, keeping an eye out for teasing by my stepkids (nothing happened, my 10 yo is just sensitive), and using something like a night light/white noise machine at night.
    via u/u/othermompost
  • 05
    Font - Every time I tell her to back off and I know what I'm doing with my own kids but she never listens. Then she started picking them up instead of their dad. I told her I wouldn't let the kids go with anyone but their dad and they actually took me to court over this and had my custody reduced to visitation at their house for almost 2 years.
    via u/u/othermompost
  • 06
    Font - Now I have them every other weekend again and I started to realize they call their stepmom mommy/mama, they don't call me anything, and they only call my husband by his first name. I tried to correct them every time they called her mom but she'd give me a look and tell them it was okay and that they could call her whatever they want.
    via u/u/othermompost
  • 07
    Font - I eventually told them not to bother visiting if they insist on calling another woman mom but won't even call me mom. They haven't visited or called in over a month. Part of me thinks they turned the kids against us and wants to go to court for parental alienation but part of me just wants to let go and focus on my new family. AITA for telling them not to bother visiting if they insist on calling another woman mom but not me?
    via u/u/othermompost
  • 08
    Yellow - lihzee 1 day ago Prime Ministurd [412] YTA. Wow. Congratulations on being less mature than your 12 and 10 year old daughters.
    via u/lihzee
  • 09
    Font - Bricknuts 1 day ago edited 1 day ago I feel bad for her kids, but they will be stronger in spite of her, especially with such great support from their real family. I actually sympathize more with OP's step kids. Who knows all the ways she is messing them up too with her toxicity and immaturity.
    via u/Bricknuts
  • 10
    Font - 01 Signal-Database1739 1 day ago Achole Enthusiast [7] I think that OP is just sensitive • just like her 10 year old daughter (probably the other sibling too) is "teased" instead of the "bullying" OP's been ignoring • the kids'toys were "borrowed" by the stepkids (probably clothes and money too, phones, tablets, laptop or whatever her daughters had over there)
    via u/Signal-Database1739
  • 11
    Font - "the evil step mother"=(NOT) was trying to get to know the girls and form a civil bond with OP (she could have learned about likes and stuff from the girls, from the father or by trying and failing) • using "evil machines" like white noise/lampa machines to help OP's kids to sleep and feel safe (i mean OP isn't afraid of dark, why would anyone be??? =lot of sarcasm)
    via u/Signal-Database1739
  • 12
    Font - I am not surprised that OP is jealous of the stepmom - sorry, mommy/mama. So far, the stepmom really seems to care about OP's daughters. And OP seems to care that she's hurt. Not that she hurt her own kids. It's sad. YTA
    via u/Signal-Database1739
  • 13
    Font - Remarkable-Aside-738 1 day ago Sounds like OP is jealous of ex and stepmom, and prioritizes that jealousy over what's best for the kids. Refusing to let the stepmom pick up the kids is very telling, even when it meant reducing custody of the kids.
    via u/Remarkable-Aside-738
  • 14
    Font - lucipurrable Partassipant [1] 1 day ago I think there is more than just not letting step mum pick up the kids. That sort of things just gets a modification in court to require the mother to hand the kids over to step mum at access or not depending on the circumstances.
    via u/lucipurrable
  • 15
    Font - RepresentativeGur250 1 day ago . That's what I was thinking, how can someone have their custody reduced to just visitation at the other parents house, over stating they don't want the step parent picking them up? From the private school and huge house comments there is obviously a big difference in income between the two households, which means OPs ex would likely have been able to get a very good lawyer. The kids probably have a more lavish lifestyle at Dad's house too.
    via u/RepresentativeGur250
  • 16
    Font - There just seems to be a lot missing I think. From what I know of custody cases, to have such little custody the other parent is neglectful, unfit etc, has had mental health or past substance abuse issues use against them or the one parent has a lot of money and/or power to get their own way.
    via u/RepresentativeGur250
  • 17
    Font - Fabulous-Fun-9673 1 day ago There is missing missing information all over this post. Because you're right, changes that drastic do not happen over demanding the kids dad picks them up instead
    via u/Fabulous-Fun-9673
  • 18
    Font - The Death_Flower. 1 day ago A hole Enthusiast [7] OP should be happy that their kid is around adults that love them, take good care of them, and around whom they feel comfortable and loved. Also idk where they are, but I've rarely seen courts go from shared custody to supervised visitation unless there was good reasons like the home or the parent being antagonising or engaging in parental alienation/not being a safe space for the child to be around but not dangerous enough to completely r
    via u/The_Death_Flower
  • 19
    Font - It makes me question if/how much is the story we're seeing is watered down. Like was the 10 year old actually just « sensitive », or were they being bullied/teased by their step siblings? Was the step-mum actually trying to «< undermine » OP as a parent or was she looking out to maintain the kid's routine so their life wouldn't be too disrupted every other weekend? Was the step mom being overbearing about the food the kids liked or was there a concern around dietary needs?
    via u/The_Death_Flower
  • 20
    Font - JohnExcrement. 1 day ago Yeah, I think there has to be a lot more to the custody decision. Kids that little typically don't get to decide where they live. I'm guessing they were consulted and possibly revealed some good reasons they should be with dad.
    via u/JohnExcrement
  • 21
    Font - OP, given that your children do and will continue to live with their dad and stepmom, for God's sake, BE GRATEFUL that they love each other. Be grateful that she takes good care of them. Would you rather she didn't? Would you rather they were unhappy? Love is not a finite object. There's plenty for everyone, but you can't force it. And you can't get it for yourself by trying to interfere with feelings for someone else.
    via u/JohnExcrement

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

aita toxic-family toxic-mother ex wife ex husband Reddit step mom step-mama-drama
Scroll Down For The Next Article