The Husband Who Cried Open Relationship: Man Realizes He Made a Huge Mistake After His Wife Refuses to Close Back Their Marriage

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/BickleKnack 2 hours ago My wife wants an open marriage and it's all my fault
  • 02
    Font - I'm laying here in bed at 4:30am unable to sleep because for the first time in a long time I am completely uncertain about my future. About a year ago I was unhappy in my marriage, we had been married 5 years at the time. I
  • 03
    Font - mostly wanted this because my attraction to her was starting to decline, I still considered her my best friend and we live very well together, so I didn't want to just leave her. Thinking selfishly, I asked my wife to open our marriage, to which she reluctantly agreed.
  • 04
    Font - We both had experiences with one person each, but quickly after I started seeing another woman, I came to the realization that this is in fact not what I wanted. It was awkward, uncomfortable, the sex wasn't even good. I didn't want to
  • 05
    Font - keep making small talk and doing the things that dating involves, plus I hated worrying about my wife's safety and wondering if some guy was gonna end up doing something awful to her. So I ghosted the girl and came to my wife extremely upset, apologizing frantically for pushing this and asking her if we could close our marriage and work on fixing things between us. She agreed, but
  • 06
    Font - looking back on it she was reluctant to. We ended up closing and the topic didn't come up again for a while.
  • 07
    Font - After we closed, things seemed to improve fairly quickly. Our sx life improved (at least I thought,) we seemed very into each other and started planning a move out of state to be closer to her family. We didn't end up staying there long because the job and school prospects were much worse than we thought. We ended up moving but coming back to the same state only a few months later.
  • 08
    Font - Right before we move back, she tells me she wants to reopen the marriage, and that she wasn't satisfied with her encounter she had in the past. I said we should wait until we are settled into the state again because there was just already so much going on, but once we got back I was thinking back on how she reluctantly agreed when I asked her initially, I
  • 09
    Font - decided the fair thing was to reluctantly agree to her terms, to which she replied, "great so I just want you to know I have plans with xxxx this Wednesday!" I immediately felt my stomach start doing backflips.
  • 10
    Font - The fact that she had a person lined up already did not sit well with me. She had been planning on me being okay with this and essentially was searching for other partners in advance. It didn't take long until my true feelings came out and I let her know that I was uncomfortable with this situation.
  • 11
    Font - I told her I was willing to work on our marriage but that being with other people was not something that I was interested in anymore. This was unacceptable to her at this point.
  • 12
    Font - The terms of an open marriage are that both people must consent, otherwise it's just cheating. I withdrew my consent and told her that any further interactions she had with xxxx would be cheating in my eyes, she insisted that open or not she "valued his friendship" and continued to hang out with him in various locations "as friends." Massive red flag.
  • 13
    Font - We had multiple conversations about how uncomfortable their "friendship" made me, but no matter what I said she fought tooth and nail to keep their "friendship" going. She even went as far as to suggest a one sided open marriage at one point, another massive red flag. This is getting really long so I'm gonna wrap this up.
  • 14
    Font - She comes to me a couple weeks ago and tells me now what she wants is to be poly (xxxx is poly, and apparently has 4 partners.) And now after weeks of me getting my self esteem pounded into the dirt, we came to the conclusion that divorce is the only real option, but I don't want to lose her, I just want to be with her and and only her, but now I've opened Pandora's box and there's no closing it.
  • 15
    Font - I have no choice but to let her go at this point, but I still love her with all my heart and don't want it to be this way. I really don't know what to do anymore.
  • 16
    Font - Takeabreak128 · 1 hr. ago You lost her the minute you suggested this. Her self esteem took a major hit. You essentially told her she wasn't enough and now she's trying to prove to herself that she is. Only 5 years in too. Shame.
  • 17
    Font - restlessoverthinking 2 hr. ago . These open marriage posts sounds like broken records smh. Seriously, if your attraction was starting to wane, you should have made more dates with your wife, gone to counselling, talked to your wife, in other words, work on YOUR MARRIAGE. It's so bloody simple!!! How is looking outside of the marriage meant to solve problems WITHIN the marriage???
  • 18
    Font - depressed_goon · 7 min. ago Op only brought up the possibility of getting outside professional help AFTER sh didn't work out for him and he wanted to close the open marriage.
  • 19
    Font - Let her go, or don't. Don't really care.. u did open Pandora's box and u deserve everything that came with it because YOU failed to put in the work you're now BEGGING for from your wife.
  • 20
    Font - Small-Isopod6061 · 1 hr. ago The literal definition of fafo.... maybe next time you will be a bit more careful...
  • 21
    Font - elizanurrr 2 hr. ago it's so ironic that YOU are the one listing the red flags when in reality you ARE the red flag

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