'There [were] no instructions for how to use this tablecloth': 20+ People who were hilariously incompetent at basic everyday tasks

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jun 13, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

They say if you mess something up badly enough, no one will ask you to do it again. That can definitely be true in many areas of life, whether it's the workplace or a relationship. One person burns a dinner so badly that they're never asked to cook again, making life easy for them, but harder for their partner. Discussions around weaponized incompetence, which is doing something badly intentionally to avoid it or not doing it at all, became a viral talking point of the day on Twitter. @Cooperstreaming asked their audience to share their own examples, and people delivered some hilarious and interesting stories from their own lives!

Check out the answers below and you'll notice that a lot of people told these tales about their exes, which is understandable, because if you can't do basic chores, it's a major issue in a relationship. Next up, take a peek into these people's secrets which were shared anonymously. 

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  • 01
    Font - Cooper @Cooperstreaming Someone in my mentions was stunned that weaponized incompetence "is a real thing". ….. Understandable. This is a new term for an old behavior. But for fun, as a treat, how about we share our most absurd experiences of weaponized incompetence.
    via @Cooperstreaming
  • 02
    Font - TheFitFem "T||0|" @the_fit_fem ….. My ex refused to ever wipe down surfaces. The kitchen counter after doing dishes, dusting the living room, cleaning the shower/toilet, etc. He claimed that my "cleaning standards were too high" & said he could "never make me happy," despite me telling him exactly what would.
    via @the_fit_fem
  • 03
    Font - Melissa @discoprincess My husband: I dont know where to put the dishes away. Its confusing Also my husband: I know the location of all parts in my warehouse, my inventory is organized perfectly. Me: and yet you dont know where dishes are stored
    via @discoprincess
  • 04
    Organism - KT @Katharine Mckee My ex who had "decided to help" holding the spoons from the dishwasher over the open cutlery drawer (with spoons inside) "baby where do these go?" And he waited 20 min for me to answer (I was doing laundry in the laundry room)
    via @Katharine_Mckee
  • 05
    Font - Kelly Mangan (She/Her) @KellyAMangan I asked my ex (a 40 year old man who'd been living on his own for 20 yrs) if he'd boil some water in the kettle for me. And he asked "How do I do that?" To be clear, this was his house, his stove, and his kettle.
    via @KellyAMangan
  • 06
    Sky - Thee Rev. Dr. Boudyka @bdk1521 ●●● My dad is 73 and claims not to know how to run the washing machine.
    via @bdk1521
  • 07
    Font - Melindhra of the Jumai Sept of the Shaid... @AielMelindhra ... My boss being like "I don't know what gear to pack for this event (that he's done hundreds of times). i brought my suitcase from home so you can do it for me." Then, at the event. "There was no instructions for how to use this tablecloth. So I didn't use it." A. Tablecloth.
    via @AielMelindhra
  • 08
    Font - B (they/them) @normalishvegan My ex tried to tell me he didn't know how to use bleach in the washing machine. I'm like you put it in the hole next to the detergent that says "bleach". He's a software architect that makes 6 figures.
    via @normalishvegan
  • 09
    Font - Anadeda @Anadeda5 ●●● My ex didn't eat most vegetables, but I did. When he was cooking, he always (!) ruined them. Boiling too long, too short, too early (yay, cold Brokkoli), forgetting it all together after being told, forgetting to put it on the table. "I'm not good at this. But I did it FOR YOU!!"
    via @Anadeda5
  • 10
    Font - Natalie~☆ @StudioKoko91 "I don't know what brand we buy" > Turns down every request to go grocery shopping together. Somehow eats most of the food before I got a bite, but doesn't remember any of the packaging enough to pick it up ???
    via @StudioKoko91
  • 11
    Font - Michael @mikeythefireman My kiddo did this with her mom. My ex calls me up and asks how I get the kiddo to do chores. Tells a story about how he got upset because he "didn't know how to load the dishwasher." I'm not proud that I laughed. I told her she's getting played. That's his daily chore here.
    via @mikeythefireman
  • 12
    Font - Lauren blm Allen @lesmis456 I would ask my ex to handle dinner for us on days where I worked 3 or more of my 5 jobs. He would typically either 1) ask me to list the things we had available to make in the house or 2) order out and get me to pay for my half.
    via @lesmis456
  • 13
    Font - Emilie Fairbanks @DCLTLAWYER My own guilty example: I have no idea how to mow the lawn. Like I've never used a lawnmower. Makes my wife crazy.
    via @DCLTLAWYER
  • 14
    Font - Attack Kangaroo: A Baela stan account @marie_ghost ... My ex refused to clean his bathroom and when he moved out the faucet wasn't working and I learned he hadn't showered in at least 6 weeks and was just using baby wipes.
    via @marie_ghost
  • 15
    Font - GOAT mom Julie Anne Stark @StarkJulieanne The men in my family can fix engines, computers and do home repairs but act like breaking down a box for recycling is impossible.
    via @StarkJulieanne
  • 16
    Font - Joy Lives Here @JoyMosenfelder O My ex-wife served me a bowl of soup with broken plastic in it. I was shocked to find it my mouth, thought it was an accident, warned her. She then admitted she knew it was there and told me she thought she'd given herself that bowl. She'd just completed serve safe training.
    via @JoyMosenfelder
  • 17
    Font - Ruthann @rjkretser My ex put bleach in a dark load intentionally. When I asked why, he said, "Because I don't want to do laundry, and you will never ask me to do it again!"
    via @rjkretser
  • 18
    Organism - Laguna @lagunacarta ●●● I had a university roommate who had never cooked for herself, so her parents would bring her food once per week. It wasn't until they were going away for a few weeks that she even attempted to learn.
    via @lagunacarta
  • 19
    Font - RedSnapper DA @corrie_lay I asked him to get five potatoes and butter. He came home with five BAGS of potatoes and PEANUT BUTTER.
    via @corrie_lay
  • 20
    Font - THEE Tater T McGee @tatertotsmcgee I asked my ex to clean the tv stand/tv (dust). Showed him what to use. I look over & he's using the wrong thing on the tv screen, which could do damage. I say something. He says "Well if I can't do it YOUR WAY I guess I just won't do it anymore, since I can't do anything right."
    via @tatertotsmcgee
  • 21
    Font - Dr Juliane Borchert @PV_Physicist I am in my parent's kitchen helping to prep for a family event. My father wanders by and I ask him to make the basic standard tea our family has daily. He claims he can't do it cause he does not know where the tea bags are kept. They have been in the same cupboard for two decades
    via @PV_Physicist
  • 22
    Organism - C. B-R @flypapashark I had a coworker of mine always "forget" how to do something that I personally trained him on. I even had him start writing down the steps and he still would come in the following week saying he didn't know how, didn't know where his notes were, or "was never shown how".
    via @flypapashark
  • 23
    Font - Grace KL @GracekL1 My husband never cooked and never planned meals and went to the store. He moved out to live with his much younger girlfriend without so much as telling me or the kids, and the next week I ran into him at the grocery story pushing his cart and buying all the things!
    via @GracekL1
  • 24
    Font - Ashlee @tweetwithashlee I PERSONALLY know someone that told their wife "I'm the type of person that will purposely mess up so that you won't ask me again." They are divorced today.
    via @tweetwithashlee

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work stories wife husband exes tweets incompetence workplace funny tweets laundry cooking chores family food
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