'I took my speaker and set it as louly as possible': Dude gets revenge on neighbor for having loud phone conversations outside his window

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Aug 10, 2023 12:00 PM EDT

Living next to people in close quarters is never going to be a good time... Having restful peace punctuated by someone else's noise at late or early hours is enough to drive even the most reasonable person insane. 

With a higher density population also comes the risk of increased opportunity for disturbance, what with having more neighbors living in tighter spaces giving higher chances that you'll end up next to someone who is clueless about how audible their noisemaking is or just plain old woefully entitled.

In university, one year, I had a studio apartment right next to another chap who must have had dreams of being a singer. I lost count of the number of late nights studying where I was unintentionally serenaded by his full-volume singing reverberating through the paper-tin wall between our rooms. I never mentioned it to him, and to be fair, I've had far worse neighbors in my life, and besides he was of the personality that I suspect he would have been mortified if I ever said anything, so I chose to suffer in silence, so that he could live out his diva dreams.

This dude's neighbor insisted on migrating to right outside his bedroom window in order to engage in her loud full-volume phone conversations. He quickly devised a plan to discourage her behavior. See his story below as he originally shared it with Reddit.

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    via Taylor Grote
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    Font - Posted by u/jusebdelo 17 hours ago A neighbor goes up to my house in her pjs and sits right next to my room to talk over her cellphone. I started blasting music right next to the window she talks at
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    Font - So a bit of context: I live in an apartment complex which is huge - 53 buildings, 6 floors each, 4 apartments each floor. We've all got common spaces to walk, hang out, work out and walk our pets. I've been living here with my girlfriend and our dog for a year and a half in a first floor apartment, and just recently, about a couple days ago this woman walks up with her phone at night, in her pjs, and just has the longest conversations right outside our bedroom.
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    Font - It happens around 8-9 and she's there for quite some time. Yesterday I just pulled the blinds open, looked at her and closed them back. She didn't move until she was done. Today, when I got home from work I saw she was already there so I took my speaker and set it as loudly as possible right next to the window she sits at. I went to bed with my girlfriend around 10:30- 11:00 and she wasn't there anymore, but couldn't check if the speaker thing worked or not in an immediate manner.
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    Font - I fully know it's petty as hell to do so, mainly because I don't see any argument as to why would she have to leave. Right outside our apartment isn't part of our apartment and it's a shared space with the whole community, although I find it wildly annoying. I don't think if I were to file a complaint that it would be successful at all. So I've chosen pettiness. I've also though of putting large plants and pots on that specific place, or just wetting the floor vastly so she won't be able
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    Product - Samurai_____ +1 - 16 hr. ago Sit next to her with a book. 3.6k HawkeyeinDC 16 hr. ago And then interject into her conversations with advice! 4.5k Reply Share 2.0k Reply Share ValkyrieKarma +2.13 hr. ago ......and when she gets pissy about listening to her conversations respond with "well, you made me a part of them when you decided to talk at max volume outside my bedroom window" 350 ... Reply Share jusebdelo OPⓇ • 4 hr. ago This might actually be what I end up doing. Haha thanks Reply
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    Font - Infinite Bacon - 12 hr. ago My favourite ever passive aggressive move was when the back door neighbour (a real estate agent who'd just moved into the back house of a property he'd split and built behind the existing house), was entertaining a friend with loud conversation and classical music at absurd volumes for after midnight. I put a bluetooth speaker next to my window, and played " go the fuck to sleep" read by Samuel Jackson over it. The music stopped pretty swiftly. 1.2k Reply Share
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    Organism - +1 . 13 hr. ago I remember reading a post where OP recorded the conversation then played it back really loud. teashirtsau 891 Reply Share rage_monkyyy_91 13 hr. ago Yeah the gossiping drunk gurls from a party! That was hilarious 316 Reply Share
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    Font - Anderas1 +1 13 hr. ago Record back her voice with 0.5-0.7 seconds delay. She'll never come back. There are also these little toys that repeat what you say with a real tiny cute voice. Would be another option. ↑ 491 Reply Share QCr8onQ +1 13 hr. ago That's great. It highlights how loud the neighbor speaks. Reply Share 69
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    Font - pheffner 11 hr. ago Put up a sign saying "All conversations in the public space are subject to recording" and put up a cheezy microphone-looking device next to it outside your window. Reply Share 98 2Cthulhu4Scthulhu 7 hr. ago Dying at the thought of them cracking a window and feeding a giant boom mic through like some kind of low budget reality tv 49 Reply Share
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    Font - night-otter +3 15 hr. ago Listen to the conversation, then start doing play by play. "Well then I told him that he has to stop doing that.." "OH NO, she wants to change her boyfriend. That never ends well." "Mary told me, that Sally said...." "Hot gossip time. 3rd hand at that. " "The guy at the seminar said I only need to sign up 3 other folks.." "OH, and old fashioned pyramid scheme. Is she getting in early enough to make money or will she get screwed by buying in to late." 357 Reply Sh
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    Font - (8 talldaveos 15 hr. ago Overly enthusiastic porn soundtrack? 169 Reply Share Xenolog1 14 hr. ago Great! Not on full volume, only loud enough to be heard outside but still realistic. 45 Reply Share
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    Font - +3 · 11 hr. ago I have a neighbor behind me that talks at max volume. She's on her own porch but she's out there at like 10 or 11 at night. Its a shore down so cops will never do anything about ppl being outside later in the summer. Tots2Hots Last time she had a gathering that was being super loud and obnoxious during the day I decided it was time to powerwash the tile wall between our houses and you have to have music when you're working outside so Pantera went on max volume on a big par
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    Font - unknownT3ch 10 hr. ago Put a couple plants outside your window, not huge ones with enough space she can still sit in between them. When she starts talking, I guess it's time to water the plants, open the window and start dumping water out onto them 43 Reply Share
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    Font - 8 hr. ago had someone that did this. have long loud conversations not caring that it was disturbing anyone....so i started assuming she was talking to me....and responded to her. generally with something slightly inappropriate. they found it so annoying they eventually stopped and went somewhere else. Reply Share wwwhistler 39
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    Font - wanderingdev 10 hr. ago when people are being loud on their phones in inappropriate places, i join the conversation as if they're talking to me. it usually makes them either leave or get off the phone quickly. usually both. 26 Reply Share
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    Font - SunflowerSpeaks +1 - 11 hr. ago One word: Vuvuzela. 22 B Reply Share
    via u/jusebdelo

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neighbors neighborhood neighborhood-drama bad neighbors Bad Neighbor neighbor petty revenge petty
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