'My essay doesn't need any citations because my opinions are fact': 35+ Teachers who taught pretentious know-it-all students

Advertisement
  • 01
    Hair - Professors & Teachers of Reddit - what's the most pretentious thing you've heard a student say?
  • 02
    Font - knight_of_selesnya "Next year, you're still going to be here bulls ng, and I'm going to be making it big in the real world." He got held back. He is not in my class this year.
  • 03
    Font - Here Comes Bad News "I deserve an A for this course because I was a model student." I've heard some whoppers, but this one came from a student who completed, I think, 2 of the 5 required papers (and both were sh), missed half of the classes, was 15+ minutes late every time he did show up, never participated in discussions, and didn't turn in a single homework assignment. To this day, the lack of self-awareness boggles my mind.
  • 04
    Font - anchulautot Middle schooler said "I'm only taking Spanish so I can tell my housekeeper what she needs to do."
  • 05
    Font - themysciraschema Oh god. It was me. I was the pretentious student. I was going into the 7th grade after transferring out of a private school to a local public school. I met with a couple of my upcoming teachers to take some placement tests since I had been taking a couple of "advanced" courses at my Catholic school. I say "advanced" because as it turned out the only real "advancing" I was doing was seeing how far I could shove my head up my a. I basically preened the entire interview proc
  • 06
    Font - remember the specifics of what I said (or most likely I won't let myself) but I definitely implied that the tests were a waste of time and it would be best to just enroll me in 9th grade. In my Catholic school I had been in the highest level math course for the school. My public school entrance score put me in remedial pre-algebra. I cried. A lot.
  • 07
    Font - jibbodahibbo 4th grader, "I don't need to do good in school. I can go to any college I want my parents are rich"
  • 08
    Font - lilmommy89 "Do you KNOW who my father is?" His dad was the head of the school board. No Is were given that day. I've also had a kid say: "Didn't you wear that outfit last week? Hahahaha!" (This was at a very wealthy school)
  • 09
    Font - bruno-s First year grad student stayed after on Day 1 to tell me, "Just so you know, I'm going to be very bored in your class. But it's not your fault - I just already know everything you're going to talk about." She completed the course with a D-, failed both of her other classes, lost her funding, and now works at Panda Express.
  • 10
    Font - NowWithEvenLess From a 20 year old undergrad, "I'm going to be an Accountant. I'll never need this database stuff."
  • 11
    Facial expression - Secretly_psycho "my mom pays your salary, so give me an A
  • 12
    Font - FunkyChromeMedina. I'm a professor now, but I think my favorite comment came from a classmate of mine during my master's program.
  • 13
    Font - We were talking about some mass media theories, and the guy starts talking about framing. His contribution began with a long-winded explanation of the concept, and ended with him saying "this is my idea, by the way, it's something I've been working on for the last couple of months." The list of citations on the wikipedia page on Framing is about 200 sources long, dating back to the mid-1950's.
  • 14
    Font - licoricesnocone "I'm a 4.0 student on the dean's list so academic misconduct won't be a problem for me." I'm gonna be super wary of all this guys papers. Like sure, people cheat out of desperation, but desperation takes two forms. Desperate to not fail and desperate to get the A and not the A-
  • 15
    Font - FLEX anthonyrdevine As a high school English teacher, I was counseling a freshman student (~14 years old) that she should probably... do some of her coursework. After all, she wouldn't want to come to her senses as a junior or senior and realize that she was a year or two behind in credits and wouldn't be able to graduate. Her response: "Why should I listen to you? You make about as much as a garbage man?!" Lots of laughing. Giving high- fives to friends in class.
  • 16
    Font - Plenty of other students to focus on in class. I just moved on to help others in class. Tough to convince a 14 year old to think ahead. Just checked her transcript... she's about a year and a half behind in credits. It's going to be very difficult for her to graduate this year. side note: Thank you to all the sanitation workers out there. Our comparative wages aren't really the point of this memory.
  • 17
    Font - Sw6roj Not personally, but while I was student teaching in a wealthy area, another teacher told me he heard a student say that their parents got them a C py car, but it was just until they totaled it. Then after they destroyed it and learned their lesson, they'd get a Ferrari.
  • 18
    Font - strangeattractors I went on a date with a professor at Stanford who had a student raise their hand to ask if he was qualified to teach the course, most likely because he had a southern accent. I doubt they asked him that when he taught at Georgia Tech.
  • 19
    Font - TheBeard1808 "I got an 77 for my final grade, why didn't you bump me up to a B?" This was after she didn't turn in the last three homeworks and had to have an extension on her final project because she didn't finish. My wife teaches a class where you literally have to show up and that's your grade. She understands athletics, family emergencies, etc. She had a student come in at the end of the semester and whine about the grade he got (a D I think). The kicker:
  • 20
    Font - He flat out told her the reason he missed so much was because he was napping. He was lucky he got the grade he did Edit: Made a grammar mistake in an education thread. LOL. Clarification: The class in question is a performance class. You literally show up to practice for the performances and that's your grade.
  • 21
    Font - [deleted] As an LMS admin I hear all kinds of crazy stuff during grade appeals. Last semester a couple of kids on a sports team were cheating in a class. Each of the 5 would take turns taking the test first online and then in succession so that while one may not get a great score the rest usually did. So the instructor asks how to resolve the issue. We make the 30 question test randomize from 100 question pools.
  • 22
    Font - Immediately following the next test we have a meeting with a Dean. Apparently the students felt it was unfair... Nothing happened to us or them but the fact that they actually filed a complaint because the test couldn't be cheated on amazed me.
  • 23
    Font - Probably too late to the party but I'm an high school art teacher. I was talking about art influences and a kid said, "I am not influenced by anyone. The only art I like is my own." Ok kid.
  • 24
    Font - jph1299. Some context: it's a private catholic school but not the safest/ best around. I was suggesting to a student to stop wearing their watch because it might be stolen "But this is just my everyday Rolex"
  • 25
    Font - Exact_bro Student turned in his final paper and instead of responding to one of the prompts he wrote his paper on how much he hated the class and how terrible we were as teaching staff. I gave him a B because while he didn't answer a prompt he backed his claims up with evidence which is well above average work compared to his classmates.
  • 26
    Font - thisismythrowaway767. All the same student: "My dad said I don't have the personality to be a nurse. I need to be a doctor." "I don't have time to join any student organizations. I'm MARRIED." "I'm going to make all As this semester. Oh, that academic warning? I took care of that."
  • 27
    Font - She had a mediocre GPA. Hadn't made good grades in science and math classes. Unless her dad built the medical school, she wasn't getting in. And that academic warning was totally legit. I spoke with her professor and he laughed for quite a while when I told him that she said she would make an A. He said she might pass with a C- if she was lucky.
  • 28
    Font - The kicker? Her husband then called our office and threatened to get us all fired for daring to tell his precious wife something she didn't want to hear. Gave us a deadline to apologize to her before he called the president of the university to file his complaint about our behavior. Looked him up on Facebook (one of my TAs is an excellent Facebook stalker) and he works at a local bike shop. Not even a student at our university. We turned the voicemail over to campus police and they had a
  • 29
    Font - Update (May 2017): After 2 changes of major and three or four changes of pre-health designation (PreMed, PreDent, prePA, whatever else), this student finally graduated. She is going to go to the local community college in the Fall and start their respiratory therapy program. If she found her passion, then I am happy for her!
  • 30
    Font - MIKEL281 I once overheard a student in the college level science major specific class that I teach say "I wonder if this teacher will be able to tell me something I don't already know" and apparently I did because he failed the class with a 32%
  • 31
    Font - mybfhaslesskarma "I don't really need to learn this kind of basic accounting. I'm definitely going to get a job at Goldman Sachs" - To me. His ta. (spoiler, based on his grades, this kid was definitely NOT getting a job there)
  • 32
    Font - CheifLazerus "We're the only students who have a chance of passing the AP exam so you should just focus on us." She was referring to herself and three other classmates. She was also loud enough for the entire class to hear.
  • 33
    Font - Edit I: For everyone asking if she was right. The class I taught had twenty kids. In my opinion 16 of them had a shot of passing but only 6 passed including 3 from her group. One of the kids who wasn't in her group beat all their scores with a 5. So no I don't think she was right. She also said at the end of year "you know Mr. CheifLazerus it's gonna be your fault if I don't get into the college I wanted since you didn't give me an A."
  • 34
    Font - (90) _queen_frostine When I used to teach first grade, we had our school wide open house in the 2nd week of school, so we're maybe 7 or 8 days into the year. I had a parent come up to me and ask: "So, how is daughter doing academically, compared to everyone else in here? She'll be going to an ivy league school, so she needs to be the best student in your class." I told her that we were less than two weeks in, and that I don't "rank" students for first grade. The mom was a thorn in my side
  • 35
    Font - narwhalman53 I'm a student, but our teacher once gave us the whole "If you're not gonna be respectful, if you think you already know the material, then just leave." A kid stands up, walks over to the door, realizes that everybody is staring at him, thinks about going to sit back down, but decides on just leaving. The teacher actually let him leave for like 15 minutes before going to get him (this was middle school so he couldn't leave campus).
  • 36
    Font - Voices Of The Fallen "I'm a Princess." I'm a pre-school teacher.
  • 37
    Font - screennameoutoforder. This one's sad but a high school kid showed me his Patek Philippe watch, told everyone it's $18k and worth more than his teacher. His dad gave it to him. Dad (or Mom) never came to PTA. Didn't answer calls or respond to his grades or notes home. He stayed with a different family. His parents vacationed without him.
  • 38
    Font - [deleted] "just give me the exam I already know all you tell me. I've been doing this for 4 years back home (Russia). I mean, wood framing and concrete.". My trade I teach is steel stud framing, drywall, Taping, etc.... No concrete or wood framing. Nevermind the fact that the apprenticeship itself is 4 years.
  • 39
    Font - LasagnaPhD From a senior who can barely read or write after I told him he needed to check his essay for spelling/grammar errors: "Whatever man, I'm going to come back here in five years and make way more than you." I said considering I'm a public school teacher, I certainly hope that he will make more than me.
  • 40
    Font - mischiefmanaged7 This is from a 16 year old student arguing about the grade she earned on a research paper: "My essay doesn't need any citations because my opinions are fact."
  • 41
    Font - _Relevant_Calvin_ "What assurance do I have that this education is adequately preparing me for the 21st century?!" "This lesson is a deliberate attempt on your part to deprive me of happiness" "You can present the material, but you can't make me care." Little sh
  • 42
    Font - បាប់ HanlonRazor I gave a student a C on a philosophy paper, and she says to me, "Do you know my father is?" To this day, I have no idea, but the grade didn't change.
  • 43
    Human body - red_runge "I came here to learn, not to think"
  • 44
    Font - [deleted] "Why do we have to study English when we already speak English? The Mexican students can test out of Spanish, so I should be able to test out of English." The school doesn't offer that test because half of you illiterate troglodytes can't tell the difference between a noun and a verb, let alone the finer points of English grammar.
  • 45
    Font - ImperialSympathizer. Rising senior walked into my college prep company, took a practice ACT, scored in the single digits, informed us that Georgetown is his safety school, then left on a 2 month vacation.
  • 46
    Font - Alterbridger I was teaching a basic math class to a group of emotionally disturbed students and we were reviewing the metric system. I reviewed the material and reiterated that a kilo is 2.2 pounds. Suddenly, a voice from the back of the room pipes up and says, "F I got ripped off." "
  • 47
    Font - 00 Diablojota I had a student who missed half the class say that there was no way I could give them an F because they paid so much for the class and that they would appeal the grade. Oh trust me, I can certainly fail you when you missed required parts of the class (this was on a 10 day faculty led study abroad trip for credit).
  • 48
    Font - grubas "I'm a mother, I know about children". Well you still failed a test on Early Childhood Development. "I never needed to study before, why should I start now?". You just got a 20% on your midterm and didn't hand in your first two papers...they got an F. "My parents are going to stop paying you unless I get a better grade". Enjoy getting kicked out. "I didn't plagerize, I'm just so smart that that expert and I think alike." I got drink with said expert at a conference and you ripped h
  • 49
    Font - exhale_lent Student: "I don't deserve an F you f ing pl Professor: "I know, but it's as low as I can give you." Source -- Email between my dad (CC prof) and one of his more charming students.
  • 50
    Shirt - wanted the If Someone in Your Family Has Cance Feelings Freatment Who? What ? When? Where? Why? How?

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article