Parenting

Spicy Sassy Memes From Moms In Need Of A Good Vent This Thursday

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  • 1

    "That's why grocery pickup after ordering the night before is the way for meeee!"

    Font - DO X Night of the Living Thread @ambernoelle Have never identified more with anyone than I just did with the woman who walked into the grocery store in front of me, shook her head, said "I can't be making these kinds of decisions today" and walked right back out
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  • 2
    Font - ARE YOU ACTUALLY A CONTROL FREAK OR ARE YOU JUST THE DEFAULT PARENT CARRYING THE ENTIRE MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL LOAD FOR YOUR FAMILY AND YOU'RE OVERWHELMED AND EXHAUSTED? @yournaturallearner
  • 3

    "Now, that's girl power"

    Rectangle - miss u @piranha732 this woman just farted so loud in the bathroom i could just feel she was embarrassed so i farted back just to make her not feel so alone
  • 4

    "**I want to add that if you DO do these things, I am not shaming and all of the power and love to you. Some families need structure! Do whatever works for you and your fam! We are not one-size-fits-all"

    Font - I'M AN INTUITIVE MOM. I LET MY KIDS SLEEP IN. WE DON'T HAVE DINNER AT A SPECIFIC TIME EACH DAY. I DON'T SIGN MY KIDS UP FOR A MILLION ACTIVITIES OR FORCE THEM TO DO THINGS THEY DON'T WANT TO DO. I LOSE MY SHIT BUT ALSO APOLOGIZE A LOT AND TRY TO GET TO THE ROOT OF THEIR BEHAVIORS. I BELIEVE YOU CAN BE YOUR CHILD'S BEST FRIEND AND ALSO BE STRICT-ISH. WE DON'T HAVE A SCHEDULE - I ASSESS EVERYONE'S NEEDS AND ENERGY EACH DAY AND THEN DECIDE ON ACTIVITIES (OR REST). THIS DOESN'T MAKE ME LAZY O
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  • 5

    "You down?"

    Font - WANNA GET OVERSTIMULATED TOGETHER, NOT FINISH TEN CONVERSATIONS, AND ENJOY A CHARCUTERIE BOARD THAT'S ACTUALLY JUST A TRASHCAN LID WITH ALL OUR KIDS' LEFTOVERS AND HALF-CHEWED SNACKS? -ME, MAKING MOM FRIENDS Mommy Cusses
  • 6

    "Oldie but goodies from last year"

    Font - @motherhaunt Can we normalize back to school tailgate parties in the parking lot where veteran moms adopt a Kindergarten mom to drink Starbucks in our pajamas, bump R&B, and holding up score cards next to cars in the school drop-off lane after judging their performance?
  • 7

    "Because it has to be said, no, I do not believe in this, but mentally, I am here"

    Product - There are two wolves inside of you. The one who wants to gentle parent, and Chancla Barbie. Mommy Cusses @mommycusses
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  • 8

    "You're telling the CNA what your lower back tattoo used to be. Life is good."

    Font - IT'S THE YEAR 2073. YOU'RE TELLING YOUR ABOUT T9 GRANDCHILDREN AND Y2K. LATER, YOU CAN EITHER PLAY CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY OR GRIND ON YOUR NURSING HOME BESTIE TO "PROMISCUOUS" BY NELLY FURTADO. ADS FOR RECEDING SIDE-PARTS AND DEPENDS THONGS PLAY AS YOU WATCH THE GIRLS NEXT DOOR. Mommy Cusses
  • 9

    "What in the hell, Bobby?"

    Font - The year legit went like jaaaaaaaaaaaannnnuaryyy, febuaaaaaaaaaarrrryyyyy, maaaaaaarchhhhh, aprilmayjunejuly AUGUST.
  • 10
    Font - DID YOU KNOW IT TAKES 1 MILLION YEARS FOR A GLASS BOTTLE TO BIODEGRADE, WHICH IS STILL LESS TIME THAN MY OPENING SHIFT AS A MOM? Mommy Cusses
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  • 11

    "Please send help."

    Font - @mommy_cusses Anyone else's kids taking the summer school course "How To Waterboard Someone Via Snack Requests Every 5 Minutes"?
  • 12

    "Like one of my favorite new quotes says, "Anyone fancy going off the f*cking rails with me? I've had enough."

    Eye - @mommy_cusses I've officially reached the "I will buy my kids' teachers WHATEVER they put on their damn school supply list, just take these kids!" stage of summer.
  • 13

    "And, YES, they CAN be both, but the take away is that if you can't go do all the grand summer things, you can still have a great summer "

    Font - GREAT SUMMERS DON'T HAVE TO BE DISNEY TRIPS AND FANCY TRIPS ABROAD. THEY CAN BE S'MORES IN THE MICROWAVE, SPRAYING EACH OTHER WITH THE HOSE, AND BLUE POPSICLE TONGUES. GREAT SUMMERS ARE DRIVING EACH OTHER CRAZY BUT LOVING EACH OTHER HARD. Mommy Cusses
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  • 14

    "It's so hard to say this when you can't even bring yourself to actually SAY this."

    Font - how do you tell someone "i'm not ignoring you i'm just disconnected from reality right now and the days are all blurred together and i feel completely apathetic towards everyone/everything around me so it's really hard for me to maintain a conversation" without saying that
  • 15

    "It's been one of those days where it feels like your best just isn't good enough"

    Font - IT'S THE NEVER FEELING LIKE I'M ENOUGH FOR ME. I'M NEVER DOING ENOUGH AS AN EMPLOYEE, AS A WIFE, AS A FRIEND, AS A DAUGHTER, FOR MYSELF. NEVER GIVING ENOUGH ONE-ON-ONE TIME, NEVER SELF- CARING, NEVER ABLE TO GIVE MY UNDIVIDED ATTENTION BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY MULTI-TASKING. I'M NOT "BURNING FROM BOTH ENDS," I FEEL LIKE I'M BURNING BY A HUNDRED. I'M NEVER DOING "ENOUGH" BECAUSE THE CUP I'M POURING FROM HAS HOLES IN IT. Mommy Cusses
  • 16

    "Say, "I, I, I-I-I"

    Font - IS ANYONE ELSE BORED OUT OF THEIR MIND BUT BUSIER THAN EVER AND ALSO EXHAUSTED BUT ANTSY AND RESTLESS AF? @SHITTYMOMMYMOMENTS
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  • 17

    "Things I never thought I'd dread pre-kids."

    Font - being a mom is so weird it's like i would literally die for you @hotmessmoms but i really don't want to have to feed you three times today
  • 18

    "Is this your love language?"

    Font - @mommy_cusses I'd like to introduce a sixth love language moms are fluent in - tagging your friends in memes, making and canceling plans for months because someone's kid gets sick, and forgetting to respond to texts until a week later while venting, then saying, "But how are you!?"
  • 19

    "I'm basically a sh*tty Doctor Strange."

    Font - I SAW A POST ABOUT A STUDENT WHO, WHEN CALLED ON DURING CLASS, SAID "I'M NOT STUPID, I'M JUST PANICKING," AND AS A MOM WITH ANXIETY, I REALLY NEED A SHIRT THAT SAYS THAT. I'M NOT STUPID, I'M JUST AN AWKWARD ANXIETY-RIDDEN INTROVERT WHO @mommycusses RARELY TALKS TO ADULTS. I'M NOT STUPID, YOU JUST ASKED ME FOR A DECISION, AND NOW I HAVE TO IMAGINE HOW EACH POSSIBILITY AND THAT POSSIBILITY'S POSSIBILITIES COULD PLAY OUT. IN REAL TIME. RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. WHILE MY KIDS HANG OFF OF ME AND
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  • 20
    Font - Mom TruthBomb the Mom TruthBomb @momTruth Bomb Being a Mom is fun because you don't get paid, are under appreciated by people who would literally not exist without you, and you spend entire days doing things without any visible evidence that you've done them.
  • 21

    "I don't care how seasoned you are, you've either whacked your kid's head against something unintentionally, or pinched their fingers in a door hinge and felt like the worst person to ever exist."

    Font - Have you ever accidentally whacked your baby's head on a door frame or are you a liar? @THEDECENTMOTHER
  • 22

    "When I was pregnant, I truly wish more people had tried to prep me a bit or normalize just how hard new motherhood would be. "

    Font - O Becky Vieira | Witty Otter @wittyotter_ On first birthdays, we should celebrate the mom. The kid can't even say birthday yet! BUT THE MOM... she just survived the hardest 12 months of her life, being clinically sleep deprived and her life ruled by a tiny dictator. She's the one that deserves a party & gifts. Pass it on! X
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  • 23

    "Being a mom is heavy sometimes"

    Font - Du Moms balance their kid's Grommydignendiaries mental health, their husband's mental health, and their own mental health. That's why we're so exhausted all the time. Mommy Digner Diaries- Holly Dignen
  • 24

    "I am"

    Font - ¡(i @anakarinahh Follow Children born feet first briefly wear their mother as a hat but no one is ready to talk about that
  • 25

    "I could really go for a good scream right now."

    Rectangle - O D. A. Powell @Powell DA What if we all took the week off and just screamed. X
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  • 26

    "But why though??"

    Rectangle - One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience
  • 27

    "This mom maths checks out."

    Rectangle - OO SNARK LEMONS and snarkandlemons @snarkandlemons I feel like only a mom would understand being up for 4 hours and still only having 10 minutes to get herself ready to go out the door. X
  • 28

    "Dropping these fuxxin socks as I try to bring a heap of clothes out of the dryer like it's hot."

    Font - You know you're old when you clean to the music you used to drink to. @snarkybreeders
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  • 29

    "It's going swell."

    Font - Maryfairyboberry @maryfairybobrry At my baby shower years ago, someone told me I was having a best friend for life. This morning my daughter stole my mascara and told me I dress like Adam Sandler in case you're wondering how that special friendship is progressing
  • 30

    "Sometimes on Thursdays, we also wear what we were wearing on Tuesday"

    Smile - UR GET PIN NK BACK ON WEDNESDAY'S, WE WEAR WHAT WE WERE WEARING ON TUESDAY. PROBABLY. -MOM VERSION OF MEAN GIRLS @mommycusses @lindseygurk
  • 31

    "I wish I weighed as much as I did when I thought I was at my heaviest after having my firstborn."

    Font - DR: WHAT'S YOUR WEIGHT NORMALLY, DO YOU KNOW OFFHAND? @momandburied ME: WELL, BEFORE I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY SECOND SON, I WEIGHED 125 LBS. DR: AWW, HOW OLD IS HE? ME: I DON'T SEE HOW THAT'S RELEVANT. Mom and Buried
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  • 32

    "Love my girl"

    Font - The 21st Century SAHM @21stcenturysahm Having multiple kids is weird. You have one kid you could trust to be home alone for a whole weekend & you know they'd eat vegetables, lock the doors, & wash the dishes. Then you have another kid who is not allowed to hold an umbrella. And they're almost the same age.
  • 33
    Font - The 21st Century SAHM @21stcenturysahm Moms of littles, I know how it is. For years, I never imagined I'd someday sleep past 5 am. Today I texted my child at 11 am asking for proof of life. Hang in there.
  • 34
    Font - The 21st Century SAHM @21stcenturysahm Moms of little boys -- go ahead and soak up that sweet baby boy smell, because in a few years his feet will stink so badly you'll pull the car over, convinced there's a rotting raccoon carcass in it.
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  • 35

    "That last part. Oof."

    Font - O Anneliese King @Shittymommymom1 Maybe moms always wear black be we're in mourning. Mourning who we used to be, mourning how we thought this parenting sh*t would go, mourning the milestones that have passed that we were too overwhelmed to enjoy. X
  • 36

    "You're a good mom"

    Hand - SHE JUST NEEDS TO HEAR THAT SHE'S A GOOD MOM. BECAUSE IT TAKES 5 POSITIVE THOUGHTS TO "ERASE" ONE NEGATIVE, AND THE AMOUNT OF TIMES SHE TELLS HERSELF THAT SHE'S FAILING ARE COUNTLESS. TELL HER. @mommycusses @shop.honeyandrose www Motherhood othe
  • 37

    "Favorite comeback of all time."

    Font - @mommy_cusses I thought "your mom" couldn't get any better as a comeback until I started using it with my kid. As their mom.
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  • 38

    "I think back a lot to the first 6 months - year with my daughter, almost wishing for a re-do, because the extreme exhaustion and raging hormones robbed me of seeing clearly and enjoying a lot of it. "

    Font - I SAW THIS TIKTOK BY A PARENT WHO SAID THAT SOMETIMES THEY IMAGINE THAT THEY WERE BROUGHT BACK TO EARTH FOR JUST ONE MORE DAY TO SPEND WITH THEIR KIDS. BUT HERE'S THE THING - WHILE I THINK THIS CAN BE A GREAT WAY TO SHIFT OUR PERSPECTIVE ON A HARD DAY, WE'VE SET THIS UNSUSTAINABLE STANDARD THAT GOOD PARENTS ARE THE OMNI-POSITIVE, CONSTANTLY ENGAGING, FOUNTAINS OF PATIENCE, FUN-MAKERS. ANYONE CAN BE A GOOD PARENT FOR A DAY. ANYONE CAN BE A GREAT ONE, EVEN. BUT IT'S THE SHOWING UP THROUGH T
  • 39

    "Last week I was in the first phase, now I'm in the second bc this sh*t is exhausting."

    Font - SOME DAYS ARE "I CLEANED THE HOUSE, TOOK A SHOWER, WAS PRESENT WITH MY KIDS, COOKED DINNER, AND FINALLY TEXTED MY FRIENDS BACK" DAYS, AND SOME DAYS ARE "ALL I COULD MANAGE TO DO WAS MOVE FROM THE BED TO THE COUCH, LET MY KIDS BINGE ON SCREENTIME, ORDERED PIZZA, AND LET THE DISHES PILE UP IN THE SINK" DAYS, AND YOU NEED BOTH TO SURVIVE. Mommy Cusses
  • 40
    Rectangle - O & If you're a sweary mom, know that at 23 weeks of gestation, a baby begins to recognize the mother's voice. So if you accidentally let an f-bomb slip in front of your kid, think of it as a sound that reminds them of the womb. Pregnancy & Newborn @pnmag X
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  • 41

    "Sorry I never texted you back, I mentally responded and forgot to actually send because kids happened"

    Hand - AS A MOM, I WILL EITHER CHAIN-TEXT YOU PARAGRAPHS OF WORD VOMIT OR COMPLETELY GHOST YOU FOR WEEKS ON END. THERE IS NO IN- BETWEEN. @mommycusses @thelittlemilkbar
  • 42
    Font - I JUST LEARNED THAT THE FIRST CRY OF A NEWBORN BABY IS CALLED A "VAGITUS," WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A CROTCH CONDITION THAT CAUSES SWELLING AND AGITATION, WHICH...ACTUALLY PERFECTLY DESCRIBES CHILDREN. Mommy Cusses
  • 43
    Font - O Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix Child: I learned a joke at school. Me: Ok let's hear it. Child: What goes in stiff but comes out soft? Me: Child: Me: Child: Me: Is it a- Wife [running in from other room]: SPAGHETTI IT'S SPAGHETTI X
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  • 44

    "It's called bala....who am I kidding?"

    Arm - other SOME DAYS, I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO SHOWER, PUT ON REAL CLOTHES, AND MY KIDS HAVE WAY TOO MUCH SCREENTIME. OTHER DAYS, I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO SHOWER, PUT ON REAL CLOTHES, AND MY KIDS HAVE WAY TOO MUCH SCREENTIME. IT'S CALLED SURVIVAL. @mommycusses @elexisbronson

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