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25 Dad Jokes That'll Make You Shake Your Head and Instant Facepalm

These bad dad jokesare next level. They are the kind of jokes that mix random nerdy knowledge with facepalm humor, and the combination is killer. Enough to make you physically cringe. And laugh. They're weird things to do at the same time but that's what happens when you allow dads to make jokes. 

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  • 1
    Text - SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT WALKS INTO A BAR AND DOESN'T
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  • 2
    Text - TWO KITTENS ON A SLOPED ROOF WHICH ONE SLIDES OFF FIRST? THE ONE WITH THE LOWEST MEW
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  • 3
    Text - WHAT'S ANOTHER NAME FOR SANTA'S ELVES? SUBORDINATE CLAUSES
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  • 4
    Text - HELIUM WALKS INTO A BAR AND ORDERS A BEER THE BARTENDER SAYS "SORRY, WE DONT SERVE NOBLE GASES HERE." HE DOESN'T REACT
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  • 5
    Text - THE PAST, THE PRESENT, AND THE FUTURE WALKED INTO A BAR. IT WAS TENSE
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  • 6
    Text - THE FIRST RULE OF TAUTOLOGY CLUB IS THE FIRST RULE OF TAUTOLOGY CLUB
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  • 7
    Text - IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN PUNS TO KLEPTOMANIACS BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS TAKE THINGS LITERALLY.
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  • 8
    Text - WHY DID KARL MARX DISLIKE EARLY GREY TEA? BECAUSE ALL PROPER TEA IS THEFT
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  • 9
    Text - CE FLAT, AND G WALK INTO A BAR. THE BARTENDER SAYS, "SORRY, NO MINORS ww
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  • 10
    Text - DESCARTES WALKS INTO A BAR THE BARTENDER ASKS IF HE WANTS A DRINKS. "I THINK NOT, DESCARTES SAYS. AND THEN HE DIS APPEARS.
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  • 11
    Text - A BIOLOGIST, A CHEMIST, AND A STATISTICIAN ARE OUT HUNTING THE BIOLOGIST SHOOTS AT A DEER AND MISSES 5FT TO THE LEFT, THE CHEMIST TAKES A SHOT AND MISSES 5FT TO THE RIGHT, THE STATISTICIAN YELLS "WE GOT EM!
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  • 12
    Text - THEY SAY A FREUDIAN SLIP IS WHEN YOU SAY ONE THING, BUT YOU REALLY MEAN YOUR MOTHER
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  • 13
    Text - WHAT IS A PHYSICIST'S FAVORITE FOOD? FISSION CHIPS
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  • 14
    Text - A PHOTON CHECKS INTO A HOTEL AND THE BELLHOP ASKS HIM IF HE HAS ANY LUGGAGE THE PHOTON REPLIES "NO I'M TRAVELING LIGHT"
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  • 15
    Text - WHEN I WAS A KID, MY ENGLISH TEACHER LOOKED MY WAY AND SAID, "NAME TWO PRONOUNS." I SAID, "WHO, ME?"
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  • 16
    Text - HOW MANY SURREALISTS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB? A FISH
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  • 17
    Text - DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MAN WHO GOT COOLED TO ABSOLUTE ZERO? HE'S OK NOW
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  • 18
    Text - WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A JOKE WITH A RHETORICAL QUESTION?
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  • 19
    Text - THERE'S A BAND CALLED 1023MB. THEY HAVEN'T HAD ANY GIGS YET.
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  • 20
    Text - KNOCK KNOCK WHO'S THERE? TO TO WHO? NO TO WHOM
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  • 21
    Text - YOUR MOTHER IS SO CLASSLESS SHE COULD BE A MARXIST UTOPIA.
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  • 22
    Text - WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU PUT ROOT BEER IN A SQUARE GLASS? BEER
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  • 23
    Text - WHAT DO YOU CALL TWO CROWS ON A BRANCH? ATTEMPTED MURDER
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  • 24
    Text - WHY CAN'T YOU TRUST ATOMS? BECAUSE THEY MAKE UP EVERYTHING!
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  • 25
    Text - WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOU'RE COMFORTING A GRAMMAR NAZI? THERE, THEIR, THEY'RE..
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