'It's not like I singled her out': Coworker keeps hogging the microwave, employee confronts her, gets in trouble with HR

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Nov 22, 2023 2:00 PM EST

There are definitely unwritten rules about using the communal microwave in an office. If you're heating up your lunch during an in-demand time and it's a frozen meal that takes more than five minutes to cook, you might want to step back and let other people use it first. Furthermore, if you're eating something particularly aromatic, consider eating in the break room and not right at your desk. This also applies when you're eating a messy meal. I cannot tell you the number of times I have seen chewing that I do not wish to witness at my desk. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 9840474112
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  • This thread was posted to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole subreddit, and let's just say that the reactions were a bit split about how OP handled the situation. One commenter put it well when they said that everyone in the situation is at fault here. The coworker should have been more considerate, the employee could have been less confrontational, and HR should realize that if everyone has to eat within the same hour, they should invest in a second microwave. Keep scrolling below for the full reactions. For more content like this, here is a story about an employee's payback after being promised a promotion.

  • 02
    AITA for asking my coworker to bring different food for lunch? No here At the beginning of this quarter, my office (medical clinic) made a few changes to everyday operations. One of those changes was that everyone (full time) would take lunch from 12:30 to 1:30 so that we could have a more cohesive schedule. I don't like this change, but I'm not the practice director.
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  • 03
    We're not a huge clinic but we have a few doctors plus their support teams, so there are still quite a few people in office. Since we're in an office building with restaurants near by, some people will leave for lunch, however I rarely do, so I often use the microwave in the break room.
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  • 04
    I have a coworker (Jessica) who also often brings her lunch and uses the microwave. However, Jessica will often bring frozen meals, which is fine, but they take quite a while to heat up.
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  • 05
    Most take 5+ minutes without having to take it out and stir it and letting it sit. Since she is closer to the break room, she often gets there before I do leaving myself a few others to wait 5+ minutes while she finishes which cuts into our lunch time, especially if there are 4 or 5 people waiting.
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  • 06
    Yesterday, she brought a meal that took 10 minutes plus constant stirring. She usually eats in the break room (I don't) so I decided to stick around and ask her if she could bring things quicker to heat or let others go first since I didn't want to add a passive aggressive note to the microwave. The only other people in the break room besides us two were a coworker/friend of hers (Amanda) and another employee so it's not like I singled her out in a group to embarrass her.
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  • 07
    She did not like that I asked her to bring something different and said that if I had a problem with it, I should bring something else or leave for lunch, since it wasn't her problem. I told her that it's inconsiderate to others when we're all on a tight schedule and just want to enjoy the break we have and eat. Amanda jumped in to say that she didn't mind and she knew other people who didn't either, so I was just being a
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  • 08
    I let it go, but this morning I woke up to an email from my boss (and HR) regarding the issue urging me to apologize for my "inconsiderate" (HR speak for ) requests and comments to a coworker.
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  • 09
    I didn't feel that I was the in this situation but now that HR and my boss have brought it up, I'm wondering if I really am an
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  • 10
    smashers04. Partassipant [4] NTA. She's taking up a significant amount of time and causing other people to lose their break. If she wants to take 10 minutes to use the microwave, she should let everyone else who only needs it for a minute or two to use it go before her. Also you don't know what she told HR, so you may want to speak to them and tell them your side of the story. 41.1k Reply Share
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  • 11
    Beautiful-Report58. Aficionado [17] NTA Use this opportunity to ask the practice to purchase another microwave or 2 due to the time constraints. Waiting 20-30 minutes for your lunch is insane. 488 Reply Share
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  • 12
    SLJ7. Partassipant [2] I second going to HR and telling them your side. You didn't make an inconsiderate comment, you asked. I'm really wondering why the others at work seem to be jumping all over you for it. You need to not let this set a precedent. If you apologize, apologize for possibly upsetting her, but make it clear you don't feel your request was unreasonable. And certainly speak to someone at HR and/or your boss first to clear things up. 455 Reply Share
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  • 13
    glynndah That frozen meal probably can be safely left in the refrigerator in the morning. That would significantly cut down on the time needed to microwave it. 246 Reply Share
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  • 14
    Bloodrayna Enthusiast [8] NTA Although the biggest boss. If they expect is your everyone to take lunch at the same time they need to buy another microwave.
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  • 15
    And as someone who hates to cook and eats a lot of TV dinners, is she making? Most single serving frozen dinners I eat take 3-4 minutes. Was she cooking a Rice a Roni for 10 minutes or what? 166 Reply Share
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  • 16
    ScribblerCAsp. ESH. You - Not fair if you to ask her to change her meals, she could be eating those frozen meals due to budget or time restraint so it's not an option for her. A direct confrontation like this was also the wrong approach - next time go straight to HR and outline the issues with the schedule and the strain on the lunch time situation. It's HR's job to address this, not yours.
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  • 17
    Her - She is hogging the single resource that is intended for multiple people to use and she's going first before everyone else, so she's using up time from other people's lunch break. If she's going to take 10 minutes to prepare her meal maybe she could consider letting others go first.
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  • 18
    Work - They need to supply adequate resources for the staff/schedules. HR should have been consulted by this change and proper measures put into place. With big changes like this there should also be a sort of trial period to review whether it actually works.
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  • 19
    If you're consistently last, tell HR that the current situation means you are not able to finish your lunch based on the time restraints and you need the situation addressed. A second microwave, more cooking options for staff, or a lunch schedule that is staggered in some way (even if it's only a 15 offset for some staff to enable people to cook their food.)
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  • 20
    You should apologise tho, tell her you're sorry that you approached her and singled her out, that the situation isnt fair on anyone, and that you're going to work with HR to address the issue hopefully without it infringing on any individual person. 147 Reply Share
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