Mother Abandons Daughters for Two Weeks with 4 Days' Worth of Food Until They Apologize for 'Mistreating' Her New Boyfriend

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  • 01
    Posted by u/throwaway-huckle 5 days ago AITA for telling my mother that she made her bed, now she has to lay in it because she is upset that our relationship has changed?
  • 02
    Two years ago, my mother started dating a man. Despite expressing our reluctance to meet him (because she was serial dating; we did not want to get attached), they forced the situation, making my sisters and me uncomfortable. Shortly after, he began staying over regularly. My mother's personality changed significantly after meeting him, e.g., he would make disgusting comments about my mother in front of us and she would just laugh.
  • 03
    About a year ago, they came home after a date, and I, busy with a timed online university assignment, just shouted hello from my desk. 20 minutes later with not a word to me or my sister I heard the outside gate slam and them leaving just as I finished my assignment.
  • 04
    I went out to check what was happening, but they were already gone. 10 mins after they left, me and my sister received a horrible voice message where my mother accused us of being disrespectful and ungrateful and how we do not want her to be happy. She also accused us of not greeting either of them when they came inside (but we both did). She left for a week and a half,
  • 05
    leaving us with 4 days' worth of food in the freezer and no money for electricity or any way to get my sister to school during this week, and also no return date. She wanted us to apologize for being brats and not greeting them before she would consider coming back.
  • 06
    When we finally talked, she insisted that we were disrespectful for not dropping everything and meeting them at the front door to greet them when they came back, and also that neither of us greeted them in any form (not true because I did and I heard my sister greet them as well, they are the ones who did not respond. The house was small, so it is improbable that they didn't hear us).
  • 07
    Mind you that this subject was never broached previous to this incident and in all the years my mother never required us to greet her at the door like a butler.
  • 08
    The power was running low as well as the food, so we bit the bullet and apologized, even though we clearly weren't guilty of what she was accusing us of (my sister was still in high school, and I was a first-year uni student so neither of us had the financial capacity to keep a household running). During this 'talk' I informed her that our relationship would never be the same.
  • 09
    Recently, my mother questioned why our relationship remains distant. I reminded her that I had warned her about the lasting impact of our argument. Trust in her as a reliable parent was shattered, and I couldn't simply forget the two weeks she abandoned us based on false accusations. While she urged me to move on, I emphasized that she created this distance, and I couldn't force a connection that no longer existed. She is calling me for holding this over her head. an
  • 10
    She says that she's still my mother and deserves forgiveness but despite her being my mother, I believe the trust has been irreparably damaged. She has given me no indication that she has changed. So, am I the for what I said?
  • 11
    ● SocialGrenades 5 days ago Enthusiast [9] NTA Forgiveness is for people who are sorry and show that. She she did a horrible thing yet has no remorse. You should have called the cops and reported her missing and for abandoning your sibling that is a minor. 6.8k Reply Share
  • 12
    lemon_charlie. 5 days ago Partassipant [4] She held money, food and electricity hostage to get that apology. She's the one who needs to ask for forgiveness.
  • 13
    Sirenista_D 4 days ago Wait wait, I love how "I'm your mom" is supposed to be really impactful and heavy, yet "they're your kids" somehow isnt????
  • 14
    granite34 4 days ago ● I've always thought the "I got pregnant and managed to carry you to term..." argument for respect was hilarious.... people never seem to realize, having a baby doesn't make someone a parent.... parenting makes you a parent!!!!
  • 15
    whyareyousostupid595 5 days ago NTA. She hurt you and your sister, and unless you said otherwise, she never expressed regret or offered an apology, isn't that right? That's a crucial step before you can forgive.
  • 16
    SunshineShoulders87 5 days ago Aficionado [17] NTA - it's so convenient when the aggressor urges the person they hurt to move on or that forgiveness is good for them. It sounds like she was done being a mom and created the opportunity to take a break and blame it on you. Utterly selfish and her current argument shows she hasn't changed. 1.7k Reply Share
  • 17
    hamillhair 5 days ago She says that she's still my mother and deserves forgiveness NTA. Forgiveness is never deserved. She can ask for it, or ask what she must do to earn it, but it cannot simply be demanded. 1.2k Reply Share
  • 18
    Hippy_Dippy_Gypsy · 5 days ago Partassipant [2] NTA - no one "Deserves" forgiveness. It's a gift you give yourself so that your life is happier. It doesn't mean you let the other person off the hook or back into your life. Just that you give yourself grace and peace.
  • 19
    Your toxic mother is TA. In big bold letters. No matter how mad you are at your kids, you don't leave them without heat and food. Period. Making you beg for it - even worse.
  • 20
    Plastic-Abroc67a82825 days ago Aficionado [10] NTA and she would absolutely do it again, or something similar.

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