'[He'll need] a magnifying glass': Contract lawyer takes a client's request literally, squeezing several pages of legal jargon onto a single page using tiny text

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jan 14, 2024 6:00 PM EST

Reading the fine print of any document is tedious. You're squinting to make out the tiny letters, the verbiage is convoluted, and you can't help but feel like you're about to sign your life away at any given clause. Shady businesses use the 'fine print' tactic to hide sketchy activity or to protect themselves from liability, but for the most part, a lot of legal documents have tiny text to save on printing costs. However, in our next story, one contract lawyer was pushed to the limits of sanity (and hilarity) when a client demanded an impossible request.

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  • Puzzled by his client's request, u/elyesq, a seasons contract attorney, decided to follow his instruction to the letter. Literally. Knowing his long-time client had a good sense of humor, OP decided to be a little silly with his recent project. 

  • How would you respond if you were asked to put together a 30-page legal document on a single sheet of 8.5x11 piece of paper? Well, you'd shrink the font of course! Scroll for the entire story of malicious compliance that was met with a wholehearted laugh and a very silly-looking document. After this, here's another story of wholesomeness in the workplace where handymen recall the generous gifts from their favorite clients. 

  • 01
    fine print fine print fi print fine print fine fine print fine prin print fine print fir fine print fine pre mint the print the print the print fine on print fine pri fine print print fine p fine print fi brint fine p ne print fir rint fine pr print fin One page contract? Okay! print fine t fine prin fine print fine print fin rint fine print fine pris Tine print fine print fine print fine prie print fine print fi t fine print fine pr print fine print print fine p fine print print fine fine prir
    via u/canva
  • 02
    r/r/MaliciousCompliance Posted by u/elyesq 15 hours ago One page contract? Ok! S OC I'm a contracts attorney. I once had a good, long-term client of mine ask for a "simple, one-page contract" for something. Well, the "boilerplate" language is usually at least one page
    via u/elyesq
  • 03
    so it really isn't feasible to do a one- page contract without leaving out something potentially very important (you never know what someone on a bench, in a robe, with a gavel, might think is important which is why you include EVERYTHING).
    via u/elyesq
  • 04
    So, I wrote the contract the way it should be, keeping it as tight as possible. It was two pages plus a signature page. Then, I moved the margins to 0.25" (from 1.0"). Next, "select all" and started decreasing the font size until it all fit on one page. We're talking New Times Roman size 2 font. Tiny. I really got a kick out of sending that one for review!
    via u/elyesq
  • 05
    NinjaNurse77 15 hr. ago Anything can fit on one page if you try! Vote Reply Share _Cyber_Mage 14 hr. ago True, I once turned in a 30 page report shrunk to fit to one page. With a magnifying glass.
    via u/NinjaNurse77
  • 06
    3lm1Ster 15 hr. ago Magnifying glass included?
    via u/3lm1Ster
  • 07
    Equivalent-Salary357 - 15 hr. ago A contract that is all fine print. Vote Reply Share irreleventamerican. 9 hr. ago Daaamn contract. You lookin' good! Reply Share …. Vote TheTwist 2 hr. ago so bold
    via u/Equivalent-Salary357
  • 08
    coversbyrichard 15 hr. ago. edited 15 hr. ago You technically did what the client asked. I don't see the problem. Though, I would advise client that this is a terrible idea and make them sign an acknowledgment to protect yourself.
    via u/coversbyrichard
  • 09
    I remember when I was making a software system for a ski area they said the non-liability agreement or whatever that printed out of the system needed to be a certain font size to be enforceable in their state. I thought it made sense cause I can see someone signing something and saying they didn't know it was a contract cause the font was too small to read or something.
    via u/coversbyrichard
  • 10
    JaschaE 7 hr. ago I worked in callcenters and EVERYTHING that customers don't like was "hidden in the fine print" At one company, the ordering process mentioned no less than 19times that what they ordered would be a recurring thing, and I still got calls surprised it was a weekly thing... ProTip: If a "free" thing wants you to enter your payment details, maybe reread what you are about to agree to.
    via u/JaschaE
  • 11
    Cfwydirk 15 hr. ago Why you hire a good attorney. To protect you from yourself! Vote Reply Share AviN456 15 hr. ago Do it like a master services agreement. Have the "contract" be just one page, but refer to multiple annexes and attachments.
    via u/Cfqydirk
  • 12
    A10110101Z 15 hr. ago Or print it on 11x17 paper Vote Reply Share hard_tyrant_dinosaur · 15 hr. ago Only A3? Be daring. Go with A0 (33x47). Vote Reply Share A10110101Z 15 hr. ago were printing it onto a scroll it can be however long you want and still be one page
    via u/A10110101Z
  • 13
    hard tyrant_dinosaur 15 hr. ago Yup. Amusingly, that's essentially what you get with any sort of online TOS. One long virtiual scroll. Vote Reply Share Blipnoodle 14 hr. ago NO! Papyrus or nothing!
    via u/hard_tyrant_dinosaur
  • 14
    elvishfiend 12 hr. ago The wall-sized, but also with progressively smaller and smaller print Wonka contract - Vote Reply Share Cold Bunch3851 - 11 hr. ago CVS receipt
    via u/elvishfiend
  • 15
    AviN456 15 hr. ago Single html file...can be as long as you want, and it's only one "page" ✩ Vote Reply Share OpenScore 11 hr. ago Technically malicious
    via u/AviN456
  • 16
    Total_Ad_5794.9 hr. ago We have a Collective Bargaining Agreement with our employer. The actual labor contract I signed basically states I'm employed as per the terms of the CBA, and is therefore only 1 page. The CBA itself is a complete booklet that gets updated every time it gets renegotiated. Makes it so I don't have to sign every time the CBA gets updated.
    via u/Total_Ad_5794
  • 17
    Blue Veritas 731 14 hr. ago OK, but did this fly with the client?? Or did they realize how stupid their request was and accept a "normal", though shorter, contract of a few pages in length? Vote Reply Share elyesq OP 10 hr. ago They laughed and accepted the contract (with normal font and multiple pages).
    via u/Blue_Veritas731
  • 18
    Fixerguy415 14 hr. ago I mean you could have done it on poster paper too.. Your choice 11x17 24x36... 48x72 Vote Reply Share NFIdotcom 15 hr. ago Nicely done!
    via u/Fixerguy415
  • 19
    Captain BaoBao 6 hr. ago Technically correct is the best form of correct. Vote Reply Share No_Proposal7628 Size 2 font? Well done! 15 hr. ago
    via u/CaptainBaoBao
  • 20
    DynkoFromTheNorth 10 hr. ago Awesome! How did they respond? Vote Reply Share elyesq OP 10 hr. ago Thought it was hilarious.
    via u/DynkoFromTheNorth
  • 21
    Newbosterone 25 min. ago Wait, you're a genius. Companies hide things in the fine print. Your entire contract is fine print. Genius.
    via u/Newbostrerone

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attorney malicious compliance lawyer legal lol Lawyers contract comedy reddit thread technically correct Reddit illegal funny
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