‘I’ll break up with you if you go on vacation with them’: A Man Shares His Insecurities to His Gf, Despite This She Goes on Vacation With Her Ex

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Feb 9, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Boundaries: one of the most important aspects of any relationship. Whether that's a relationship between two romantic partners, family, or friends, it's the crux of getting into trouble, or getting out of it. In healthy relationships where communication, respect, and boundaries are clear, then the couple has of course a higher success rate. When there's a lack of respect on either side for whatever reason, it could be time to end the relationship. Which usually is the best course of action when someone does something disrespectful. 

But are we always steadfast to make our boundaries clear? If we were, we wouldn't be in the sticky situation we found ourselves in. The blunt blade of a knife can stab us in the hearts if we're not careful. But that's not always the case; sometimes we're really able to just see things clearly, make our boundaries transparent, and end things when they need to end. I mean, how would you feel if your partner was taking a vacation with a group of friends in which one was their ex? Sounds like a recipe for disaster, and anyone on the opposite end of that is bound to feel insecure. 

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  • 01
    Posted by u/AccordingBoard6448 5 days ago AITAH for not telling my gf I was gonna break up with her if she went on vacation male friends?
    via u/AccordingBoard6448
  • 02
    Basically, my gf went on vacation with her male friends. I told her this made me uncomfortable and didn't want her to go. Btw, she used to hook up with one of them before she met me.
    via u/AccordingBoard6448
  • 03
    She told me it'd be fine and that they are like brothers to her. I already made the decision to break up her right there and then, but I wanted to get my stuff from her place before anything, and I figured I
    via u/AccordingBoard6448
  • 04
    should do that while she's gone. I also didn't want to break up over text or call so I waited for her to come back. I picked her up when she came back, dropped her off, and
    via u/AccordingBoard6448
  • 05
    gave her the key to her place back and broke up. She started crying, and she figured out it was because of the vacation. She keep saying that nothing happened. I told her she knew I wasn't comfortable with this, and she
    via u/AccordingBoard6448
  • 06
    still went. She mentioned that I should have said that I'd break up with her if she went, and that if she knew she'd never would have gone. I told her I didn't want to be controlling and threaten her with ending the
    via u/AccordingBoard6448
  • 07
    relationship. We kept going back and forth over this for a while. Edit: A lot of yall are assuming an awful lot here. Most of you are cool. But to give you a bit more context:
    via u/AccordingBoard6448
  • 08
    1. She never actually introduced me to these friends. Even though I mentioned I wanted to meet them. She kept making excuses. 2. She never TOLD me she used to hook up with her friend. I only found out
    via u/AccordingBoard6448
  • 09
    because I found an old pic of them kissing when she was showing me some old travel pics. 3. I was OKAY WITH THEIR FRIENDSHIP until NOW. This was just too much for me.
    via u/AccordingBoard6448
  • 10
    Most of yall are cool, but I swear, some of yall act like cheaters don't exist. Did she cheat on me? Who knows. But at this point I was sick of doubting.
    via u/AccordingBoard6448
  • 11
    TheUberninja2 . 5 days ago NTA. You enforced your boundaries, the consequences for boundaries don't always need to be explained as all situations are different.
    via u/TheUberninja2
  • 12
    MtDoomResident. 5 days ago Exactly this is the true definition of boundaries. You expressed what you're not willing to put up with and then followed
    via u/MtDoomResident
  • 13
    through. If yall have different values, so be it
    via u/MtDoomResident
  • 14
    JudgmentSoggy6036. 5 days ago NTA. You'd be toast too if it was the other way around.
    via u/JudgmentSoggy6036
  • 15
    elandry26 5 days ago I agree. As a woman I would certainly not like it at all if my husband did this and I would never even ask to do this. When
    via u/elandry26
  • 16
    you're in a relationship you don't do things that make them uncomfortable as he put it. Why would you want to hang around other
    via u/elandry26
  • 17
    would you want to hang around other men without your man there? Strange.
    via u/elandry26
  • 18
    Feathers137 . 5 days ago Especially considering one of the men is someone she hooked up with. Definitely strange.
    via u/Feathers137
  • 19
    I also can't get over the fact that she slept with someone who's "like a brother to her"
    via u/Feathers137
  • 20
    MaxxOne Million 5 days ago Maybe he's more of a stepbrother to her
    via u/MaxxOne Million
  • 21
    Natopor 5 days ago At least his ex will now when her future boyfriend says hes uncomfortable with something she does I would argue OP taught her an important life lesson.
    via u/Natopor
  • 22
    throw_thessa. 5 days ago I think OP did good. He explained she took her choice, so consequences are real thing. I'm not a fan of ultimatums so I think better this way. Tbh there
    via u/throw_thessa
  • 23
    is never the right moment to break up you just have to do it.
    via u/throw_thessa
  • 24
    icantradetoo 5 days ago I agree, this is the mature way to break up and stand firm with your boundaries.
    via u/icantradetoo
  • 25
    Him saying he was uncomfortable should have been enough. He shouldn't have to resort to ultimatums. She says now that she wouldn't have gone if she had known, but if
    via u/icantradetoo
  • 26
    she had known, but if he actually did say he'd break up with her if she went it wouldn't have gone over so well.
    via u/icantradetoo
  • 27
    Tight-Shift5706. 5 days ago DON'T LOOK BACK! You told her your sentiments. She paid you no regard. Nothing more was necessary on your part. In addition to being suspect, she's obviously
    via u/Tight-Shift5706
  • 28
    suspect, she's obviously not very bright. Hopefully next gf will be smarter.
    via u/Tight-Shift5706
  • 29
    Schafer Isaac 5 days ago ΝΤΑ You had a reasonable boundary, and you didn't force it into a scenario where she could resent you over it.
    via u/Schafer Isaac
  • 30
    You enforced the boundary, and broke up, in a reasonable way.
    via u/Schafer Isaac

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hilarious drama relationships lol exes love breakup reddit thread red flag Reddit funny dating vacation
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