Bride Gets Wedding-Shamed for Spending $20,000 on Superficial Things While Starving the Guests: 'Even the cake was fake'

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  • 01
    "If you can't afford to give your guests some food, then it's time to scale back on the dress"
  • 02
    AITA for being honest and telling my daughter that her wedding is a running joke of what not to do if you marry in our family/friend group.
  • 03
    My daughter got married about a year ago. She spent about 20k on her wedding, it was a wonderful experience for her but for all the guest it really sucked. All the money went to thinks the couple would enjoy.
  • 04
    The reasons it sucked for the guest was due to multiple factors. The biggest ones being that guest has to buy food, drinks, and no entertainment. So people get to the wedding and the ceremony happens. Then they go put into another room after a long day of driving out, don't get any food/ drink. Most of them were forced to buy overpriced food since they were starving.
  • 05
    They didn't even get any cake since the cake was a fake. Overall not a good guest experience. Afterwards it was negatively talked about and people were actually quite mad about it. My other daughter is getting married and asked for my help. Her sister offered to help and my other daughter made it clear she doesn't want her wedding to be anything like hers.
  • 06
    My daughter asked what she meant by that and I was honest with her. That her wedding wasn't a good experience for guests and it is a running joke at this point with family/friends. I thought she already knew since a lot of people hated her wedding.
  • 07
    This caused an arguement and she called me a by the end. I pointed out all the issues had with her wedding and she thinks I am being cruel. Edit: the money basically went to her dress, venue and photos. I know her dress was 6k. The venue was pricy and she didn't get the food package I was not part of the wedding planning I was having medical issues
  • 08
    Annual_Suggestion_87 6 hr. ago INFO: how the heck does someone spend 20k on a wedding and not feed anyone? Also you totally could have been a touch gentler but also OMG I can't even imagine. A fake cake? Do you hate your guests?
  • 09
    Historical-Safe-8579 OP 6 hr. ago Well her wedding dress was 6k, I have no idea about how much the venue was but it didn't come with food They also got an expensive photos
  • 10
    ContributionIcy5832 6 hr. ago NTA - I'm guessing the $20K went to the dress, the photographer and the honeymoon? 4.3k Reply Share Historical-Safe-8579 OP 6 hr. ago Basically
  • 11
    BlueAtolm 6 hr. ago At that point you may as well have the wedding with only your parents, it's annoying and disrespectful to the guests.
  • 12
    Miles_vel_Day · 6 hr. ago. edited 5 hr. ago Well nobody wants to spend $6k on a dress and not have anybody see them wearing it. But yeah, if you can't afford to give your guests some food (and, IMO, at least free beer+wine) then it's time to scale back on the dress and venue and what have you. Or just consider, you know, not having a wedding. They are so, so expensive.
  • 13
    oliolibababa 5 hr. ago Imagine renting a $6k bouncy castle for a party, inviting a bunch of kids and not feeding them. But it's a wedding! I COULDNT EVEN IMAGINE DOING THIS! Bride and groom were incredibly selfish.
  • 14
    sethra007 6 hr. ago You might ask your daughter how she would have felt if she'd been invited to a wedding, sent a nice gift to the couple, traveled a considerable distance to attend (maybe even booking a hotel and/or flight and/or rental car), and got to the reception only to find out that there was no food and not even any cake!
  • 15
    wolfcaroling 5 hr. ago edited 5 hr. ago Aficionado [15] It is so hard for me to understand this. My number 1 goal was for my guests to have a good time. My wedding was also $20,000, and this was 15 years ago. My dress was $500. Honeymoon was our gift registry - people coupd buy us a night in paris, a dinner in Paris, or a day's metro pass, or our tickets to the Louvre, that kind of thing.
  • 16
    All the money pretty much went to venue, DJ, dinner, cake, alcohol. Every table got free wine during dinner (choice of red meat, chicken or vegetarian), and one free drink at the bar, but had to pay for additional drinks. I didn't want people getting alcohol poisoning with an open bar. People were still dancing when my husband and I went to bed at 1 am. They had a blast. I was so happy.
  • 17
    aoife_too 6 hr. ago I really came in here ready to say YTA based on the title. This was the first time in a long time I was truly wrong. Making guests pay for their food? No entertainment? THE CAKE WAS A LIE? Yeah, if I were a guest, I'd be mad, too! Actually, it would be a story I'd tell for... probably the rest of my life. That's a Grade A bad wedding. NTA.
  • 18
    pcnauta 6 hr. ago Partassipant [4] Some people are so self-focused that they either can't or won't see the situation through other people's eyes. You daughter (and her husband) sound like this because it should have been obvious to them that they were creating a very poor experience for their guests. If this had just been your opinion, then I might have thought about you being Y TA, but it seems it is a fairly universal opinion. ΝΤΑ.
  • 19
    Necessary_Row_8356 6 hr. ago Spending 20K and not feeding your guests That sure is a bunch of No you don't need to pull punches everyone's an adult They need to hear the real thing weather it hurts their feelings or not.
  • 20
    Last_Ask4923. 6 hr. ago If I showed up to a wedding and it was cash food and cash bar, I'd leave. I have never heard of anything like this. Is this normal where you are? I've seen cash bars, which just means people sneak in their own drinks or tailgate in the parking lot. But to have to buy food? That's so tacky.
  • 21
    LatinMom1971. 6 hr. ago NTA< I would ask her, with all the weddings that she has gone to has she ever not been fed, given something to drink, or had some form of entertainment? If she says no then tell her that is what she was missing at hers and people remember that and will talk about that. Don't get mad if your event | and people are not afraid to say it.

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