'You are being unnecessarily dramatic': Dentist refuses to attend brother's wedding because she doesn't like off-the-shoulder dresses

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
May 10, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Wedding attire is often a contentious concept, though it really shouldn't be. Don't wear white if you're not the bride, and keep it formal. End of story. But there are so many rules and gradations of rules that everyone gets a little crazy. There's a whole subreddit dedicated to wedding fashion advice, and it gets heated. But in my mind, it's on the bride and groom to create a forgiving environment for attendees. You want everyone to have fun, after all… supposedly. 

But sometimes the pressure gets to people and they need to assert their power. That's exactly what happened in this recent story from Reddit where a bride's dress code caused some serious strife in her new family. Can't everyone just relax a little? However, commenters were divided on what the original poster should do in this situation. Read on for all the details and decide what you would have done. 

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    via Samantha Gades
  • 02
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Useful Flower2687. 16h AITA for not wanting to attend my brother's wedding because and for calling my SIL rules stupid?
    via Useful_Flower2687
  • 03
    Im 27F dentist and my brother 32M and his soon wife 27F are getting married in less than 2 months. Let's call my SIL Abby. Abby and I never had a relationship of our own. We definitely don't hate each other but we are not besties. We just exist in each others presence. I noticed that in the invitation to their weeding that Abby requested the dress code to be all women in the wedding to wear off the shoulder dresses, suits or anything just off the shoulder. Doesn't matter the color or the sequenc
    via Useful_Flower2687
  • 04
    Now as I said I am a dentist and as many people already know dentists may not have the best back/ shoulder posture ever. And Im not an exception and I always tend to wear outfits that do not emphasize that part of my body. Now the type of clothing this dress code demands needs someone with a good back posture because that's the emphasis. I totally lack that and yes I did try one dress of the shoulder on looked absolutely horrendous.
    via Useful_Flower2687
  • 05
    So I asked if I the dress code is really that important and if I have to abide it but my brother told me Abby stressed on this dress code so much. And Abby was like if she "leeways" me she has to leeway everyone (I was kinda baffled that so much importance was placed on a certain type of clothing with no explanation given)
    via Useful_Flower2687
  • 06
    I went with my friend shopping hoping I'd find one that I looked not so clownery in. I tried on so many different fits, looked like in all of them. So I told my mother since they are so attached to that dress code then I think the best option here for me is to not go. So I wouldn't ruin their organization and I wouldn't have nightmares about how awful I looked in that event. But my mum got mad at me and said Im being dramatic for not wanting to be there for brother and family just for a dress. I
    via Useful_Flower2687
  • 07
    Foggy Radish • 15h Supreme Court Just- [107] NTA. So are all the 90yo grannies going to be wearing off the shoulder outfits????????? As a granny myself, this is freaking horrifying.
    via Foggy_Radish
  • 08
    Useful Flower2687 OP 15h You know I actually thought about it because Abby great grandmother is alive so Im curious how will she be in off the shoulder or will she get the O god forbid leeway
    via Useful_Flower2687
  • 09
    Foggy_Radish • 15h Supreme Court Just- [107] Yeah, I mean it's really weird she's insisting on this - I've attended hundreds of weddings as a photographer and have never been to one where every female is wearing off the shoulder.
    via Foggy_Radish
  • 10
    INFO StAlvis • 15h Galasstic Overlord [1762] as many people already know dentists may not have the best back/shoulder posture ever no, I do not think that anyone who's not a dentist has ever thought about that. Now the type of clothing this dress code demands needs someone with a good back posture because that's the emphasis. Why do you keep talking like posture is something you're stuck with? Like, this isn't a permanent disfigurement. "Posture" is just your subconscious, default way of carryin
    via StAlvis
  • 11
    Catte Nappe • 15h Enthusiast [5] Not to mention, there's is nothing about poor posture that would make an off the shoulder dress look worse than any other garment.
    via CatteNappe
  • 12
    Big-Cry-2709 • 14h I actually disagree with this. Off the shoulder really emphasises the line of your neck and shoulders and you can clearly see if that line is crooked unless your directly in front of that person. Maybe it's not something most people notice but it does look significantly worse.
    via Big-Cry-2709
  • 13
    Peony-Pony 15h Professor Emeritass [77] NTA Wedding guests are not an aesthetic. They are not flowers, table cloths, napkins or party favors. If someone told me I had to wear a specific style of dress as a guest, it would be the easiest RSVP with regrets I ever made. The wedding culture has gotten out of hand completely. Your brother and his fiance are wrong and completely unreasonable. Good hosts. make their guests welcome. Your brother and his wife to be are not good hosts.
    via Peony-Pony
  • 14
    YTA. Curious-One4595 • 15h Professor Emeritass [91] You are being unnecessarily dramatic and self- centered; loosen up your spine and your attitude. I agree the dress code seems dumb. But no one's going to care about how you look in your outfit as long as you are not leaning over them with dental tools in hand. Take an emergency shawl or stole or something just in case.
    via Curious-One4595
  • 15
    UMM Psychological-Ad7653 • 15h Partassipant [1] who tells ppl what KIND of dress needs to be worn. Brides are getting nuts and you want to enable more crazy ladies nah...
    via Psychological-Ad7653
  • 16
    Forsaken_Avocado737 15h . Considering it takes 8 years to become a dentist, and assuming you started at age 17, how tf did you ruin your back already....? You've got bigger worries than this wedding. But ' you might as well go to the wedding and take some pictures because these will probably be the best your back will ever look But seriously OP, obviously you're responding incredibly sarcastic and condensending to everyone telling you to straighten out your shoulders (terrific bedside manner of
    via Forsaken_Avocado737
  • 17
    Own Lack_4526 • 15h Certified Proctologist [22] Unless you have a diagnosed kyphosis, you are able to stand up straight. TBH, I've never noticed that the dentists I have gone to have had awful posture when they're standing up, walking up to me or away from me. YTA. If you have hunched over to the point that you cannot stand up straight pain free (because why else wouldn't you just stand up straight?) then you need to get a referral to a physical therapist. I do agree with you that insisting on o
    via Own_Lack_4526
  • 18
    C_Majuscula • 15h Supreme Court Just- [142] NTA, but I think that guest dress codes that are this specific are pointless and No white for a western wedding and general guidance (e.g. black tie, white time, formal, etc.) should be the end of it.
    via C_Majuscula

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Wedding Themes family drama aita fashion marriage wedding party drama poorly dressed wedding ceremony wedding clothing wedding dress clothes dress reddit thread Reddit dressed up weddings
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