'I appear to have deleted my speech': 20+ Iconically bad ways to start a speech

Starting a graduation speech by telling the graduating class how long-winded you're going to be isn't a winning strategy. Yet somehow, a few commencement speeches every year will start off this way. That's not the only way to start a speech and make your audience lose interest. According to the people answering u/Giant_Meteor_2024's query, there are plenty of irritating ways to start a speech. 

My least favorite way to be introduced to any speaker is when they do an annoying call-and-response thing. A lot of people will say "Good morning," to the audience, and then a few people will mumble a reply back. Then the speaker will say, "I didn't hear you! I said, good morning!" and they'll keep going this way until enough people reply back with enough enthusiasm. It immediately makes me dislike that person and makes me care less about their message. Whether it's for a graduation speech or a wedding toast or an informative speech, there must be a better way to insist on the audience's undivided attention. 

If your speech can't be interesting, it should at least be short. There's nothing like sitting at a graduation speech in the summer heat, listening to the speaker promise that they'll make this quick, only to still be listening to them 45 minutes later. As they drone on with cliches and predictable stories, it makes it hard to stay awake! 

Check out all of the funniest, weirdest, and worst ways people have heard a speech start off. Then, read about this customer who was totally out of touch with reality when she decided to procure a ton of food at the very last minute.