‘You don’t get to walk me down the aisle’: Woman Puts Her Absent Father in His Place By Choosing Her Mother to Walk Her Down the Aisle At Her Wedding

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    r/AITAH 12 hr. ago Opening General474 I told my father that I don't want him to walk me down the aisle
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    I'm 28F getting married in 2 months. My relationship with my father 56M has always been complicated. My parents divorced when I was ten and my father wasn't around much after that. He started a new family and I felt like I was no longer a priority. My mom raised me pretty much on her own.
  • 03
    As my wedding day approaches. My father has expressed how excited he is to walk me down the aisle. This is where things get complicated. My mom has been my constant support and I've always envisioned her walking me down the aisle. She was there for every important moment in my life while my dad was mostly absent.
  • 04
    I had a heart to heart with my father and told him how I felt. I explained that I wanted my mom to walk me down the aisle because she's the one who's always been there for me. My father was heartbroken and accused me of punishing him for the past. He said he thought we had moved past everything.
  • 05
    My siblings and some family members think I'm being too harsh and that I should let him have this moment. They believe it's a chance for us to mend our relationship but I can't shake off the feeling that my mom deserves this more than anyone. Now I'm torn. I don't want to hurt my father but I also want to
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    honor the person who's been my unwavering support. Edit: he never really apologized for anything. he just started showing up. He visits I let him in. He says something I respond and that's it.
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    Edit: for some that assumed my mom the reason I hate him(I don't). She never told me anything bad about him. I used to call/text him and no response. I drove 4 hours to try and have a heart to heart conversation with him when I was 19. And he told me and I quote "I don't know what's wrong with you but I'm
  • 08
    sure therapy can help and I can pay for it" on my way back home he texted me one word "Sorry". And I never heard of him again until he showed up at my door when I turned 22. +I'm not a native English speaker
  • 09
    Wild_Black_Hat • 11h ago You are not punishing your father, but rather rewarding your mother. Why wouldn't she get to have her moment? NTA.
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    Beneficial_Mix_8... • 11h ago 1. It's your wedding. Do whatever you want. 2. Your father doesn't get to decide how you come to terms with what he did, or dictate how he's treated as a result of his own actions.
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    My father also abandoned most of his kids when he started another family, and also had this "it's in the past" mentality. There was a short span of time between. wife #2 and wife #3 when I had a semi-real relationship with him. Wife #3 ended that, and I never had another private conversation
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    with him ever again. He died recently, and didn't leave anything to any of his children, despite knowing that one of them has a severe disability and the others have helped cover their medical expenses. He left everything to evil stepmother #3. None of us. really care that he's dead bc
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    we were never as important as his replacement wives. Point being that your father is still the guy who abandoned you, and he always will be. What he wants ultimately doesn't matter. You can't trust that he won't abandon you again if and when it suits him, so
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    don't let him dictate your life. Also the father walking his daughter down the aisle tradition is an outdated representation of the transferral of the daughter as property from the father to the husband, so that.
  • 15
    GodofBoody •11h ago NTA. your wedding your choice? Lol besides he wasn't there for you as a parent so why should he get the HONOR of walking you down?
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    TheLastMongo • 10h ago The next time someone complains about 'letting him have his moment', just ask them where he was for all of YOUR moments. ΝΤΑ
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    Odd_Connection_... • 11h ago ΝΤΑ Your wedding, your decision. And this happens to be the right decision. Mom deserves this moment much more than he does.
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    Rye_One_ 10h ago ...and the day after your wedding, this will be in the past. Luckily your father believes in forgetting the past, so you're all good.
  • 19
    upsetti spaghetti... 11h ago NTA. You aren't punishing him for the past, you're displaying the support and love your mom has given you throughout the years.
  • 20
    StellaStew ⚫9h ago NTA. Your wedding is about honoring the person who has been your primary support. It's your day, and it's important to follow your heart and recognize your mom's unwavering presence in your life.

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