FAIL Blog

Funny Tweets That Sent Us Into An Uncontrollable Fit of Laughter

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    Text - t brent Retweeted Nathan Usher @thenatewolf *Ted receiving best dentist award at the dentist awards* This is the only plaque that's allowed in my house *laughter* You the king, Ted! 27/10/2014, 22:15 7,327 Retweets 15.1K Likes
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    Text - brent @murrman5 *mentions bear attack* a bear attacked you? I don't like to talk about it ok *seconds later I get date to stand up* pretend you're the bear 12/08/2015, 18:40 735 Retweets 2,329 Likes
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    Text - shut up, mike @shutupmikeginn Imagine being rich enough to know you were allergic to horses 22/06/2015, 14:00 1,279 Retweets 3,997 Likes
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    Text - ta brent Retweeted Nathan Usher @thenatewolf PROFESSOR X: what exactly is your mutant power? * whisper "it's not very good" in his left ear but he hears it in his right ear* 07/04/2017, 20:44 801 Retweets 2,708 Likes
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    Text - dan mentos @DanMentos [first date] *emptying jar of coins into coinstar* "almost done" so where are we going after this? "what" 24/08/2015, 22:53 3,999 Retweets 8,215 Likes
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    Text - josh @ruinedpicnic OLYMPIC JUDGE: the routine was good but we were forced to take away points because you shouted 'watch this shit, motherfuckers' at the start 06/08/2015, 12:03 13.9K Retweets 23.6K Likes
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    Text - brent @murrman5 "when people say different color bell peppers taste different" [doctor nodding] I meant anything bothering you physically 29/07/2015, 15:41 5,302 Retweets 11.4K Likes
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    Text - Dan Polish Last Name @danjan13 Got a broke dick? Were you having sex and it just broke? You could be entitled to restitution. Call me, The Dick Lawyer. 17/08/2015, 17:46 339 Retweets 1,121 Likes
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    Text - Dan Polish Last Name @danjan13 Swords just aren't naturally "Wooooshy" enough for me, that's why I add the noise. That's why I add the noise, Janet. 29/05/2014, 19:24 3,268 Retweets 7,571 Likes
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    Text - t brent Retweeted dan mentos @DanMentos recruiter: u should join the army octopus: buddy I'm army enough as it is 11/11/2014, 23:45 7,879 Retweets 13.1K Likes
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  • 11
    Text - Mike Bianchi @Mike_Bianchi Hey people who have to taste ice cream before they buy it, here's a tip. It's good. It's all fucking good. 08/08/2016, 02:32 1,065 Retweets 3,042 Likes
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    Text - ke et @KeetPotato cop: [making list of animals that escaped] zookeeper: "the tigers should be your top priority" cop: [scribbling out ducks] "obviously" 17/06/2015, 12:00 8,621 Retweets 15K Likes
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    Text - dan mentos @DanMentos [tries to call psychic hotline from airplane but instead calls radio station] "hello you're on the air" holy shit 15/07/2015, 22:38 2,439 Retweets 6,123 Likes
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  • 14
    Text - brent @murrman5 introducing coworkers as they walk into work like they're a starting lineup] shes 5'2 only owns 3 outfits and still Owes me SIX DOLLAAAAARS 12/06/2017, 21:09 1,791 Retweets 6,476 Likes
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    Text - Pixelated Boat @pixelatedboat "Hey buddy, you wanna buy a harmonica?" I opened my coat and got hit by a gust of wind, making the worst sound in the world 16/05/2015, 01:31 4,046 Retweets 8,306 Likes
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    Text - brent @murrman5 we'll miss everything about brent except his pranks they were the worst [hears everyone at my funeral agree and I shift nervously in casket] 20/04/2017, 17:23 4,019 Retweets 11.3K Likes
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    Cheezburger Image 9056118272
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    Text - Ygrene @Ygrene "Hey nerd, who brings a friggin book to a bar?" *my eyes narrow as I close my worn copy of Advanced Techniques for Winning Barroom Brawls* 14/08/2016, 22:25 5,883 Retweets 15.8K Likes
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    Text - David Hughes @david8hughes Me: will there be sausage rolls? Margaret [sobbing uncontrollably] th- there- Me [louder]: Margaret. Your husband's funeral. Sausage rolls? 25/10/2015, 04:30 2,437 Retweets 5,222 Likes
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    Cheezburger Image 9056119040
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    Cheezburger Image 9056119296
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    Text - ta brent Retweeted local badboy, @hippieswordfish extremely suspicious that there's no information about brains that didn't come from a brain 02/02/2017, 17:43 5,061 Retweets 12.4K Likes
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  • 23
    Text - Nathan Usher @thenatewolf Baker With Cake: can I hold one of those breads? Baker With Bread: get fucked buddy OBSESSIVELY GOOD TOB BON BAKERY CA OUTFRONT 06/09/2015, 08:33 2,708 Retweets 6,890 Likes
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    Text - brent @murrman5 [me adjusting paintball mask] it's too bad we aren't on the same team date: yeah 17/07/2015, 16:34 918 Retweets 2,675 Likes
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    Cheezburger Image 9056120320
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  • 26
    Text - t brent Retweeted dan mentos @DanMentos *guy bumps my shoulder "You're lucky this isn't the Internet pal" 23/05/2015, 03:44 7,243 Retweets 14.1K Likes
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    Cheezburger Image 9056120832
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    Text - brent @murrman5 *stomps feet twice and claps over and over until everyone at the funeral is doing it* "we will...we will..miss you" 12/07/2015, 17:47 8,510 Retweets 15.8K Likes
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    Text - ta Cat Damon Retweeted rachel @rougasrougas You (hasn't seen Ratatouille): gross get this rat outta here Me (smart, has seen Ratatouille): now wait just a minute 19/06/2016, 16:47 53.1K Retweets 85.1K Likes

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