28 Times Kids Spilt Terribly Embarrassing Secrets About Their Parents

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mattstaff
Nov 19, 2017 7:00 PM EST

These are legit mortifying. The awkward silence that must've accompanied these mega-cringeworthy shared secrets had to have been biblical. Makes you wonder if teachers are trained to deal with these kinds of moments...

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  • 01
    Learning - HE MYSTERY SPOT MAGICAL EVAToitel From my wife's Pre-K class: "That's daddy's new girlfriend. Mommy says she's a slug."
    via Cheezburger
  • 02
    Text - Not a teacher... but this daycare that my cousin's daughter used to go to put together this cookbook to sell as a fundraiser. It was all the kids' favorite recipes; not written down and brought from home but in their own words. A bunch of the recipes had steps like "then you put it in the microwave because Mommy doesn't like to use the oven" or "then you play in your room until it's time to eat because Mommy doesn't like to be bothered when her friends are over" -- they were pretty funny.
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 03
    Text - I was babysitting a 2 yr old kid and we were playing restaurant. He ordered a salad, a burger with extra fries, and a beer on a napkin. He's gonna be an awesome adult D
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 04
    Text - "Mommy had to miss my camp recital because she was getting surgery to make her more skinny." (Mom is speaking (yelling) another language on the phone) "Oh gosh...my mom just told my grandma she's going to slap her in the face."
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 05
    Text - 4th grade Teacher: what do we call the distance all the way around the outside of the circle? Class: slew of wrong answers Me: CIRCUMCISION and of course, I was the only one who actually raised my hand and got the teacher's attention before answering
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 06
    Text - One time in fourth grade a couple police officers come into the classroom to teach the kids about drugs as part of the D.A.R.E. program. For some reason, they brought in a bunch of drug paraphernalia to show kids what kind of things to avoid. An officer held up a piece and goes, "This here is a crack pipe." Then one of the kids shouted out, "Hey, my dad has one of those!" Thinking he was making a mistake, one of the students said, "Ryan, do you want your dad to get in trouble!?" "...Kinda
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 07
    Text - I was working at a community pool a few years ago and a woman with her small daughter came up to me and asked "Is alcohol allowed in the pool area?" I informed her that it wasn't, and immediately her little girl said "My mommy loves alcohol!" The woman turned beet red and kept repeating "No, she's kidding, I really don't like alcohol that much" while I did my best not to laugh in her face.
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 08
    Text - I was a teachers helper and one day a kid came to class wearing a stretchy cock ring on his wrist. I bet his mom was mortified when he came home.
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 09
    Text - A 2nd grade class was planting a tree for Arbor Day. They do it every year with the help of a landscaper. He lets them each take a shovel and move dirt to the tree, so they all have a part in the actual planting One kid says matter-of-fact "I've done this before." All proud of himself. The landscaper nods along and says "Oh, really?" The kid goes "YEA, WHEN WE BURIED MY DOG!" Still with a proud attitude. The landscaper replies "Well, I hope this is more fun." The kid agrees. Not the most
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 10
    Text - While discussing how to take care of Legos, 1st grade student chimes in: And if you steal even one Lego from Ms. Jeffanie's room you'll go to juvie and they'll put pepper spray in your eye and it will hurt for a week.
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 11
    Text - from my mom's pre-school "My Daddy is an Iriot" my mom: "Nooo, your daddy is NOT an idiot!" "Yes he is! Mommy said so!"
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 12
    Text - A kindergarten teacher I know once had a student who drew a picture of himself and his father hunting deer. His stick figure had a flashlight, and his father had a gun. He had the teacher write at the bottom, "I hold the flashlight while my daddy shoots the deer" for those of you who don't live in Appalachia, shining a flashlight in a deer's eyes immobilizes them and is illegal.
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 13
    Text - This will most likely never see the light of day but... When my sister was about 3 she turns to my (very conservative) aunt and yells "I'm a cowboy!" My aunt replies "no honey, you're a cowgirl" My sister say "no, I'm a cowboy!!" My aunt contradicts "No, you're a girl. Only boys can be cowboys." My sister looks at her like she is the stupidest person imaginable and says "I'm pretending I have a penis"
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 14
    Text - Fabster22 5y In 4th grade my mom and teacher were talking about an upcoming class trip, one of those that lasts like 3 day, and she was asking what she needed to pack for me and he says the usual stuff bla bla. And then my mother decides to try to be funny and say "and lots of underwear, you know how moms love to pack underwear" to which I responded "but mommy you don't wear any underwear" my mom practically ran out of there!
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 15
    Text - I'm a dance teacher, and a little girl once told me she and her family had a pet bird that had recently died. She was very distraught and said, "Daddy was bringing it outside to bury it, and dropped it....and then Mommy accidentally kicked it and it hit wall." It took everything in my power not to burst out laughing at such a visual.
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 16
    Text - I was 15 or 16 and teaching the 2 and 3 year olds at church. It was Easter and one little boy comes in crying up a storm. Nothing that my friend and I do can console him. About half way through he stops and just sniffles. At the end when the parents come and pick them up, he sees his dad and starts crying again, telling his dad that he doesn't want anything to do with him. His mom comes and gets him, and my friend and I tell her about her son. She was trying SO HARD not to laugh and told
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 17
    Text - fukyosadface 5y I'm not a teacher but my aunt got remarried and we all went out to eat. My little cousin has the most country redneck accent you will ever hear and she yells out "We caant fiiind my daddy anywhere, so i got me a new one!" the entire resteraunt was in tears from laughing so hard
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 18
    Text - Once in 5th grade at the YMCA after school program, a 1st grader (girl) came from the side of me and grabbed my junk as I was talking with a friend. Counselor witnessed this, told her she was wrong and asked why she did that. Little girl said "that's what my mommy does to my daddy before he goes to work."
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 19
    Text - I've posted this one before... I said 'trust me, I'm a doctor' to a kid then all eyes turned to me 'are you really a doctor? 'no it's just a saying' Then one boy, without looking up from his work says 'my daddy pretended to be a doctor...he in trouble'
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 20
    Text - Our 2nd grade teacher had her class say something about their family. One of the little boys described the details of his parents swinging lifestyle with another family in the town who had a few kids of their own. (he was blissfully ignorant of exactly what he was describing) Apparently out of the 5 kids total between the families (3/2 split) no one is really sure who is who's father. So they all are the other family's 'half brothers and sisters'. After revealing all of this to the class
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 21
    Text - When I was a kid my mom smoked pot in front of me all the time and would tell me that they were"Herbal cigarettes" and that they were better for you than smoking real cigarettes. I don't know how many friends/ teachers/ coaches I told this too. They must have all thought it was hilarious haha
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 22
    Text - I worked in a kindergarten class, a student brought in has dads bag of weed for show and tell. Also walked into a liquor stop and one of my 2nd grade students walked up with her parents as i was grabbing a top shelf bottle, as they were looking at boxed wine. She said, "So you drink like my parents?" with the most disappointed look on her face. It was just awkward.
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 23
    Text - Not a teacher, but I was trying to keep my annoying little cousin occupied while she was visiting one day by letting her create her family on the Sims 2. When it came time to pick out the pajamas I asked her what kinds she wanted her parents' sims to wear. She makes an annoyed face and says "They don't have Mommy's pajamas because she sleeps naked. And I don't know what Daddy wears because he never sleeps at home."
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 24
    Text - My mother did not have a pleasant childhood. Her parents were swingers, and they eventually got divorced because of it. She resents them to this day. Her father eventually got re-married (my mother was in her late 20's, and wasn't invited to the wedding) and her new step mother always hated her for some weird reason. Cut forward to me, age 6. We happen to run into Grandpa at the local grocery, and he and my mother share pleasantries. Grandpa then leans down and asks me, "Boy, when are you
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 25
    Text - My dad's a primary teacher and a kid came in to his class late one morning and excused himself saying "mammy and daddy were in the shower and they were laughing"
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 26
    Text - Not a teacher but a story about how I almost got taken away by CPS. My dad was pushing me on the swings when I was about three and obliged my desire to go really high. I then proceeded to jump off the swings even though he repeatedly told me not to, resulting in a broken arm. For a few weeks after that I would run up to anyone one who would listen and exclaim "my daddy did this to me!"
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 27
    Text - I teach preschool and I love listening to them play house because it reveals so much about their lives outside of school. Thankfully I've never heard anything depressing. I've heard "can't I just have 5 minutes to myself?!" from more than one kid playing house, also "ugh, I have do many calls to make!" I've also heard "sometimes mommy drinks daddy's beer", and "this glue smells like beer", and "daddy sleeps on the couch"
    via HeyJustWantedToSay
  • 28
    Text - My mom used to make wine and keep it in the pantry while it was sitting or fermenting whatever it is that wine does. Anyway, she was in the pantry syphoning the wine from one container to the next. The phone rings and I answer it. From the pantry my mom hears me say "My mom's in the pantry drinking wine, she can't come to the phone."
    via HeyJustWantedToSay

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cringe Awkward askreddit parenting funny
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