‘You have a 13 year old daugher!?’ Woman Pushes to Protect Her Assets After Husband's High School Sweet Heart Reaches Out to Confess A Secret Pregnancy

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  • 01
    r/AITAH u/One_Sun_2607 • 17h AITAH for wanting a postnup with my husband after finding out he has a child?
  • 02
    Recently, my husband's ex from high school showed up saying they had a child together 13 years ago and their daughter now wants to get to know him. They broke up right after high school and went to different unis. They were already broken up when she found out she was pregnant and since she wanted to go to med school, her parents offered to take care of the baby, but apparently banned her from telling my husband.
  • 03
    I'm 100% supportive of my husband getting to know his daughter, but at the same time, I have some financial concerns. I came into this marriage with more assets, I earn more than him and financial stability is very important to me. The thought of something happening to him and losing part of my assets to his child terrifies me.
  • 04
    Sharing everything with my husband never bothered me before, because that's part of marriage, but him suddenly having a daughter is not what I signed up for. Therefore I want a postnuptial agreement that protects my assets. When I told this to my husband, he got very frustrated with me, saying that he just found out he has a daughter and he wasn't in her life for the first 13 years. He is still in shock and one of the first things I do is come at him with a postnup, making it seem like I'm prepa
  • 05
    I think I'm justified in wanting a postnup and I've spent the last 2 months being extremely supportive of him and helping him manage this situation. I don't. see why wanting a peach of mind for myself is that bad, but one of my friends also said that I'm kind of an for bringing up a postnup and it's not like my husband is likely to die anytime soon that makes me really need this. AITAH?
  • 06
    NTA. LK_Feral 14h • And OP, I'm guessing you and your husband do not know much yet about the girl. You do need to protect your assets. You do need to protect his assets so that you don't become the main breadwinner supporting your household if a significant portion of his wages go to CS. You should discuss college. Financial support or no? Major medical decisions. How are they made? Who is financially & otherwise responsible? Does your husband want any custody or visitation?
  • 07
    That last would keep me up at night. A 13 year old girl is being dropped into your lives, which is nightmare enough. You have no idea how she was raised. Does she have trauma, or other MH issues? It's been two months. If your husband isn't ready to discuss this stuff now, he's not planning on facing it anytime soon. I'd file for divorce if he refuses to have a rational conversation and make a plan with an attorney, as he'd be putting your future financial security, and even just your peaceful ho
  • 08
    ghostoftommyknocker • 15h NTA. Your husband now has financial and blood inheritance complications that you didn't know about going into the marriage (and, in fairness, neither did he). The potential fate of your assets are not what you signed up for. Why is she telling your husband now? Her motives could be innocent. Her motives could be something else. But you have to consider the rammifications of him establishing paternity, wanting a relationship and possible back payments of child support. A
  • 09
    So, you can't afford to wait for your husband to come to terms with the shock of his life. He is in an emotional rollercoaster right now, but there are financial and legal repurcusions that might begin sooner rather than later. Someone has to think about that. -- not just for you, You should ask for legal advice but on behalf of your husband, too. You should also bear in mind that finances, assets, legal consequences and inheritances are the last thing on his mind right now. So you probably will
  • 10
    BorderNo1064 • 16h NTA. You gave him 2 months. The news is big but he's an adult and life isn't always gonna be smooth sailing. He had his shock and now he needs to prepare and so do you. Protect yourself and your assets ← Reply 807
  • 11
    camkats 16h • NTA this mom could sue him for back child support and current support. OP needs to ensure everything is based her husband and not joint income or assets. I think she's smart for this. I think it's important to do it quickly- I would ask for the same. I'm sure he was shell shocked but so was she. We are talking paying for school, cars, college, insurance etc. it's important to get ahead of it. Reply 3.1k
  • 12
    Lopsided Tie1675 • 16h NTA I think waiting 2 months was completely appropriate. Reply Ŷ 71 ♡
  • 13
    Dry_Put1177 • 16h Is she really his child? I mean it's not a rare thing that exes just pop up with a child claiming that x the father. I would do a DNA test just to be sure. But to your question: NTA. I don't know how chld support works exactly in a situation like this but making sure that your assets are safe is not a bad idea at all. You're not divorcing him just making sure that you won't pay for a child that isn't yours. ← Reply Legitimate-State8652 • 11h 76 She can't be sued for child suppo
  • 14
    Penners99 16h First, get a DNA test. The result will determine the rest ← Reply 208 tigerofjiangdong1337 • 13h For real. I'm like how do they know it's his. Id be skeptical if my ex showed up all this time later. дов 19
  • 15
    NTA. 2_old_for_this_spit • 15h You need a legal agreement to separate your funds. He has to provide for his child, you don't. Reply Ŵ 12 ♡
  • 16
    alisonchains2023 • 16h OP, don't wait on your husband to take action on this matter. While he's busy sorting things out with his daughter, you should be speaking with an attorney and having the post nup drawn up, so all he has to do is sign. No need to bother him with a bunch of little details that will just stress him out and cause problems in your marriage. While dealing with the attorney, be fair with your husband's position; in other words, don't take advantage of him. The sooner the paperwo
  • 17
    Carbon-Base • 13h Yeah, you've been supportive enough despite the bomb that was dropped in your lives. It may not be his fault since they neglected to tell him (opt for a DNA test to be sure), but if he has a daughter with his ex, then that's his responsibility, not yours. NTA, your assets, your money, your decision to protect what's rightfully yours. 2 8 4 3
  • 18
    lapsteelguitar • 15h OP, you are being very wise. From your husband's perspective, I suspect that the postnup is the 2nd of two major shocks. Give him a bit of time to recover from them. He might be more receptive then. ΝΤΑ ... Reply Q7 ♡
  • 19
    Miss_Bobbiedoll ⚫ 14h I'm trying to figure out how the child would end up with your assets if something happened to your husband. If he has no will, she could end up with part of his. And I've seen several mention child support, but a post-nup won't stop child support. The two of you should visit an estate planning attorney. ... ← Reply Ŵ 7 ♡ 87
  • 20
    NTA. Final Technology104. 14h He may still be in shock about finding out he has a 13 year old daughter. But it's Equally Shocking To You that You may be the one to foot the bill in back child support for another woman's kid. Definitely get that postnuptial!!! You have So Much To Lose! And why is this woman coming out of the woodwork Now??!!?? Do this Now!!! Reply Ŵ 4 ♡

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