Woman Expects Husband to Fork Over Thousands of Dollars For Her Sister in Financial Trouble, Resulting in Potential Divorce

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    r/AITAH • 6 days ago Late Afternoon9 AITA for refusing to lend my SIL money because she got the house I was expecting to go to all of us?
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    Years ago my wife and I moved back to live near her elderly parents. We bought a house a couple of streets over from them for about $300,000. When we moved back, we helped them with the maintenance of their house including replacing the carpet, 2 AC units that totaled $15,000, appliances, and weather proofing the house. In all, we
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    spent about $75,000 to make their house more comfortable in their remaining years with the understanding that once they pass, the house will be sold so that we get our money back then split the rest of the money evenly between the siblings.
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    When they both passed, we found out they left the house to my wife's youngest sister. The parents wrote a letter explaining to the siblings that the parents wanted to make sure that sister have a house because she would never be able to buy a house without their help. The rest of the siblings all had houses and were doing okay so they understood
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    and accepted the situation. I was livid because we poured money into that house and now we're not going to get it back. My wife and I argued for weeks until I realized I had to accept the money as gone or else my marriage would be ruined.
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    Over the years the price of houses increased dramatically in our neighborhood and now our house is worth $1.75 million. SIL's house is also worth over $1 million and her property tax is over $30,000 which she struggled paying every year. Last year her husband was let go from his job so they couldn't pay their taxes in
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    January. By February they received a letter stating they were considered delinquent and now they owe a 6% penalty fee and 1 % interest in addition to the tax. On July 1, the penalty fee will increase to 12%.
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    The problem is that all of the siblings had financial difficulties last year so none of them could loan her money as they did in previous years. However, we're doing okay so my wife asked me the other day if we could loan her sister the money. I said we poured enough of our own. money into that pit and refused
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    her request. Our arguments have gotten to the point we're both shouting at each other. I know I can be petty but I think I'm justified to not loan over $30,000 to a person who stole $75,000 from us. My wife doesn't want her sister to lose the house that they were raised in.
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    Melodic Policy765 • 6d ago If you pay the taxes this year, what's going to happen in all the subsequent years? They need to get that house on the market ASAP.
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    Inv... 6d ago • Edited 6d ago NTA: she can't afford the house, but she could afford a very nice house if she sold she house she can't afford. Realistically you'll always be the purse strings for the sister.
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    Perhaps sister could get a loan from a bank, the things that exist for just such an occasion.
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    Away-Coffee-9438 • 6d ago How would they ever pay back the loan? Wouldn't they have the same problem paying property taxes next. year? It sounds like they should sell the house and buy a smaller one.
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    [d... • 6d ago Edited 5d ago Your wife's parents screwed you by accepting the money you poured into their home. You screwed yourselves by not getting a legally, binding agreement. You'll never see the $75,000 again. You either have to accept that or walk away from your wife.
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    The current issue is that your SIL obviously can't afford to maintain the house she inherited. It seems like her only option is to sell it and move. If any family members want it kept in the family, then they can buy it from your SIL.
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    But it is not reasonable to "loan" tax money to your SIL. This would be my hill to die on.
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    NotShockedFruit... 6d ago NTA. Tell your wife that they need to sell the house.
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    smaugchow71 • 6d ago NTA. Can't SIL get a home equity loan? If the house is worth a million, she should have full equity.
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    fuzzy_mic •6d ago If you had gotten the repayment for the earlier upgrade in writing, you would have that money back.
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    If you loan SIL $30 K for property taxes, you'll get that in writing. But then you have the question of whether SIL will ever be able to repay that.

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