Woman Chooses Exactly the Same Baby Names as Her Sister-in-law and Husband, They Stop Speaking

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 9, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet aficionados. We all know the annoyance and frustration when someone wears the same dress as us at a function. It's embarrassing, it makes you paranoid about people comparing how it looks on you, and it's just uncomfortable. Now, it may not be pleasant, but it's nothing compared to a family member naming their baby the same name you want to name yours. 

In this particular Reddit story, the original poster (OP) and her husband have been talking about these names for a while. They've struggled to have kids, and when they finally got pregnant, they knew with certainty what they wanted to name their baby. They talked about it nonstop for a long time, telling friends and family. I can't even imagine the shock when you hear your sister-in-law announce her baby name and it's exactly the same as yours…even down to the middle and last name. Embarrassing much? Read the full story for all the gritty details.  

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  • 01
    r/AITAH • 12 hr. ago curiousleo2024 AITA if I use the baby name me and my husband choose even though my sil is planning on using it?
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 02
    Me and my husband and I picked out baby names almost 5 years ago, and when we started trying, he told his family and mine about our journey. During this conversation, we both told the names we had chosen to the family as using these names is our goal. They have heard these names multiple times through
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 03
    our journey because it has been what keeps us motivated when it gets hard. We will sit and picture our future with our son or daughter, and the names have never changed up. These names have been our dreams. Everyone knows and has heard it.
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 04
    My husband's sister ended up pregnant with her boyfriend, who doesn't like us because we helped her leave him, and then they got back together. When I heard I had a gut feeling, something was going to happen. At her gender reveal, she learned she is having a boy. We celebrated, and everything was
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 05
    going smoothly until my mil and fil were at a table with me, and someone brought up her baby names. Mil seemed hesitant and told me two names she was thinking of and then Fil said and her bf likes insert our baby name and they will call him insert our shortened baby name we planned on using. I was shocked but
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 06
    remained smiling and said something like, "That is our baby name..." and Mil popped up that my husband's aunt had mentioned that was our baby name. I was shocked, but my husband had come over to let me know we needed to leave for dinner with my parents. I get up and while getting all our stuff my
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 07
    sil runs into me and during our brief conversation I mention I heard her baby names and named them off along with mentioning that the one her bf wanted was our baby name and she acted like she didn't know that was our name. I told her it was and then said goodbye, and we left.
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 08
    My husband knew something was wrong, and I told him what had happened in the car. His immediate response was that I'd cut them off. We have been struggling to have a baby, and it's been hard on him. We had a positive and then lost the baby, but he was sure it was a boy, and he was so excited to use our
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 09
    name. I knew this hit him hard, but I don't want any drama on his side of the family. So I told him we would talk about it later and we went to dinner.
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 10
    After dinner on the way home he brought it back up and said he was mad and felt like her trying to use our name was a slap in the face and like they thought we would never have a baby. We both cried together on the way home.
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 11
    Once we got home we sat in silence until he randomly said them. We are using our sons name whether they do or not. It doesn't change the name we have chosen and pictured for years. I mention it will cause issues for everyone if they have the same name and go by the same name along with his family
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 12
    would probably try to call him by his middle name to keep them separate. He said anyone that calls our future son anything other than what he goes by wont be around. I told him okay I'm with you on this.
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 13
    A couple days later I spoke with Sil when she pulled me aside at another get together. Her and her bf said they hope there is no hard feelings if they use insert our full baby name. I was shocked and asked if they were serious. They both nodded. I replied "So you don't just want the first name you want our entire baby name? First
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 14
    and middle?" Sil said yes she had forgotten our baby name and her bf really liked the first name and the middle is a alternative version of her family name. I said "it's an alternative version because me and your brother wanted to use a family name from his side and I wanted unique. It's literally an
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 15
    alternative version of his middle name. That name has meaning to us it's not just a name. It's sentimental especially to your brother. Also there is no way you forgot our baby name we talked about less than 2 weeks before your gender reveal." She huffed and said she did and she is sorry but she is pregnant now and will
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 16
    be using that name. So I said That's fine. So will we. When we have a son no matter what you name yours he will be named insert name. Even if I can't have a child naturally in the next year and a half we plan on adopting. The name will be used and we will be parents. If you want to struggle with our kids having the
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 17
    same name other than their last that's on you." She told me that isn't how it will work and that she plans on using her last name since her bf is adopted he will be taking her last name when they get married. I froze and said thats fine it won't be changing my child's name either way. She started crying and said she
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 18
    thought I was her sister and cared about her. I told her she is and I do, but what she is doing is hurting her brother and I really bad but we both know we can't stop her from using our name but I can and will be using it either way. She huffed and walked off. We haven't spoken since so am I the ?
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 19
    CLARIFY: 1. She wants to use the full name, first middle, and last. She said it was because bf is adopted and hates his last name.
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 20
    2. She is in an abusive relationship with a bf. They had broken up and me and my husband and I drove states away to pick her up. He moved back to try to work it out, and she found out she was expecting. I'm not sure how it stands now, but they both don't have
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 21
    jobs and are living with her parents. Her parents don't want to kick him out or push too hard because she has moved out with him before because of it and especially since she is expecting.
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 22
    3. I have NEVER been upset that she is pregnant. I'm happy for her. The only time I get upset hearing someone is expecting is if they already haven't been great parents. Example: Friends sister had her third baby a couple of months ago, and she was born addicted to meth. This
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 23
    is the third child taken from her. That upset me. Kids don't deserve that. 4. My husband's family is close, like, REALLY close. They used to do family meetings monthly before covid and everyone moving away. It took some getting used to, but I opened up.
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 24
    We were trying for 6 months before they caught me buying pregnancy tests. We sat down and explained our journey. We aren't the only couple in the family to go through this and talk with the women, getting advice and sharing what our therapist wanted us to do
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 25
    helped. During these conversations, of course, names were brought up. I've never been around a situation like this and wouldn't have a problem if it was one part of the name, but the ENTIRE name, especially something so unique, is irritating and
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 26
    hurtful. I know you can't call dibs. However, I believe there should be respect for the process. 5. If we adopt, we are looking at an adoption agency that helps teen moms specifically that works in our state. So we would be adopting an infant. I would never change
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 27
    a child's name stripping identity. I have adopted siblings, and it's been a big discussion most of my life. We've talked about adopting older, and we may go that route eventually because we do want more than one child, but my husband wants to be there
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 28
    from the start. We have helped raise my 3 nieces and though I've been there since day one he wasn't and he loves them to death but due to some complicated legal stuff and the biological parents choice rights were signed over to my parents. We get them weekly, but we
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 29
    We get them weekly, but we want kids that are ours.
    via u/curiousleo2024
  • 30
    Ok Play2364 • 11h ago Let this be a lesson for people wanting kids. DO NOT tell everyone your chosen names for them. Especially if they are unique and have meaning to you.
    via u/Ok Play2364
  • 31
    Cocoa AlmondsR... 11h ago You are NTA. Use the name. Do not change it in any way. If, down the road, she claims you stole it or someone says you were influenced, be ready to make it clear that you and husband had been talking publicly about this
    via u/Cocoa AlmondsR
  • 32
    name for YEARS, and sister took it because they believed you wouldn't be having children. Don't be embarrassed. Don't minimize. And don't compromise. Be 100% honest each time.
    via u/Cocoa AlmondsR
  • 33
    • captainalissa 11h ago They're using your chosen first middle and last name? Absolutely NTA. This isn't coincidence, it's deliberate and vindictive.
    via u/captainalissa
  • 34
    I've been through something very similar lately. We had 2 names picked out for about 5 years (one boy, one girl), everyone knew those names. I got pregnant, lost the baby, my brother knocks up some teenager, they use my chosen girl name. I've gone
    via u/captainalissa
  • 35
    completely NC with him because of that plus a decent amount of other reasons. Use the name.
    via u/captainalissa
  • 36
    lilgachatube 12h ago Bffr there's no way she is really mad about that like you stole the name first and gets mad when You're using the NAME YOU PICKED how can the copy cat get mad at the original PLEASE keep me updated
    via u/lilgachatube

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