MIL-Zilla Tries to Hijack Women's Wedding Planning Decisions, Mama's Boy Husband Takes His Mother's Side: ‘[I] wasn't backing down’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jul 29, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Some MILs will do everything in their power to get what they want.

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  • At this point, we're no strangers to the evil mother-in-law archetype. It's really unfortunate that there are some MILs out there who love their son a little too much and vilify any woman they want to court. Shouldn't your husband-to-be's mother be ecstatic that her son found a lovely woman who cares and yearns to spend the rest of their life with him? In sickness and in health, you know? Often, these MILs want to be your husband's number-one woman for eternity. When the feeling is reciprocated by your husband and you realize you unfortunately married a toxic mama's boy, you get the boot and they live happily ever after. Don't fret if this happens. You dodged a train wreck.

    The bride-to-be in this story is struggling to find understanding between her and her MIL, who is berating her dress choices (with words we cannot use here, but it rhymes with dipper) and calling her taste in florals tacky. The bride-to-be bites back at her MIL, sending her out of the dress shop crying. The MIL, as if by magic, appears at her son's doorstep and tells him everything. I wonder if he backed up his fiancée? Spoiler alert: he didn't. Scroll to read the rest of this juicy story and some comments empowering this bride-to-be to acknowledge her husband's red flags.

  • 01
    AITA for not giving into my FMIL?
    via maries_worldd
  • 02
    Hir!! I'm new to reddit and I got my post taken down, so someone suggested I come here for advice! 1, (26F) have been with my fiance (27M), who'll call Mark, for 6 years. Those 6 years have been great! We've had fights and issues, but never something big that gave me a red flag. He's a great man to me and he always treated me so well.
    via maries_worldd
  • 03
    Now here comes the issue, Mark has left the wedding planning to me since he knows I love this type of stuff and I've always had a vision for what my wedding is going to look like. My soon to be MIL has very loud opinions on a lot of things that I want for MY wedding.
    via maries_worldd
  • 04
    When we went to the store to try on dresses, it was me, my sister, my mother, and my MIL. I knew I wanted a fitted off the shoulder wedding dress and there was so much gorgeous ones that were my exact type. When I tried them on, everyone loved them except my MIL. She was very loud about her opinion and even went as far as to say I looked like a
    via maries_worldd
  • 05
    Her comment started a big fight between my family and her. My, sister especially was I and I admit said something pretty nasty things to my MIL. This resulted in her crying to my fiancé. That day, me and fiancé fought and he said that my family was in the wrong for upsetting his mother over a "silly comment" I eventually gave in and got a dress that made everyone happy, which was a ball gown type of dress.
    via maries_worldd
  • 06
    I come from a family of florist, so my family was covering for all of that. My mom owns her own flower shop and she's the most popular in our town! I love love LOVE flowers, I always had since I was a child. This is something i'm not willingly to give up. For my wedding, I've always wanted a wildflower theme. I chose an
    via maries_worldd
  • 07
    outdoor venue and had a plan to decorate the place with my choice of flowers. I don't know why, but MIL was so AGAINST the idea of the flowers I chose. When she saw the bouquet and the flowers I chose, she yelled at me that this was tacky, that the people she invited to my wedding were going to think that her son
    via maries_worldd
  • 08
    is marrying someone cheap¿ She told me that red roses would look so much better and romantic. I refused, she went to Mark about it. Mark and I ended up getting into a fight because this was something I absolutely refused to give up. He told me it was just a "small thing" I had to give up and that after this was all over, we'd be happy with our new life.
    via maries_worldd
  • 09
    Even after the argument, I was adamant about my decision and wasn't backing down which resulted him leaving the house and going to his mothers. This has been going on for three days and he still hasn't texted me or called me back.
    via maries_worldd
  • 10
    fia-med-knuff 20h ago . NTA. You don't have a MIL problem though, you have a fiance problem. Think of this conflict as a warning. This is what your married life will be like. Any conflict, even one where your MIL calls you a will end with your future husband taking her side, not yours. He will always be on her side.
    via fia-med-knuff
  • 11
    Now imagine if you make a home together. It will be decorated like she wants. And if you have children together? I think you already know. You've spent six years together and he now feels comfortable to show what he's really like. Run away before you're stuck.
    via fia-med-knuff
  • 12
    Honest-Effectiv... YT A for already ⚫ 20h ago compromising on your dress! The fact that your fiancé is already letting his mom railroad you into making decisions to appease her, will only get worse if you go through with this marriage.
    via Honest-Effective3924
  • 13
    You do not have a MIL problem, you have a fiancé problem If your fiancé doesn't start shutting his mom down and taking your side, PLEASE LEAVE!!!! NTA but only if you don't put up with this anymore!
    via Honest-Effective3924
  • 14
    coygobbler · 20h ago Tell your fiancé he can marry his mom if the wedding is all about her tastes and wants.
    via coygobbler
  • 15
    lurkinglarksalot • 20h ago INFO Why are you involving her in these decisions at all? She isn't your mother, she's the groom's mother. Make your own life easier, and don't invite her wedding dress shopping. Don't consult her on flowers. Tell her you found a dress after it's purchased and you aren't showing anyone pictures.
    via lurkinglarksalot
  • 16
    If she wants to be traditional about things, she can do a rehearsal dinner or luncheon and be in charge of that, and leave the wedding to the bride.
    via lurkinglarksalot
  • 17
    ILoatheCailou • 20h ago NTA but don't marry this guy. He's already married to his mother.
    via ILoatheCailou
  • 18
    monster15 20h ago Huge NTA. Your fiancé is a big AH here though. You're his soon to be wife, he should be defending you and protecting your happiness. Not running. away to mommy. I say this from personal experience (nearly could have wrote your post myself) either cut your losses now or get into couples therapy asap before continuing anything else. This
    via **monster15
  • 19
    doesn't end when you get married, if you're planning on having kids, your MIL will be there to give her opinion. Even if you don't have kids, she will not be backing down about her opinion. Your fiance needs to get a shiny new spine/see the light and not let his mother treat you this way. This is your wedding and you should be able to enjoy this experience and have everything that you both want.
    via **monster15
  • 20
    LobstahLovahRI • 20h ago This is a HUGE Red Flag! This is YOUR wedding, not the MIL! The dress should have been for you only! I don't understand why this woman gets to tell you your wedding colors!! I married my husband the way we chose, and because she (my MIL) tried to run our relationship and financials, it ended up in non- stop drama for 10 of the 12 years we've been together.
    via LobstahLovahRI
  • 21
    Unless you want her putting her stamp on all your personal marriage issues, I'd definitely speak to Mark about weddings being about the Bride and Groom, not the MIL's social status regarding what she thinks looks "cheap."
    via LobstahLovahRI
  • 22
    Petefriend86 · 20h ago NTA. I have literally never taken my mother's side against any girl I've dated and have never had to promptly stop dating them for taking their own mother's side against me. Never in my entire life.
    via Petefriend86
  • 23
    SimbaOne1988 • 18h ago You are only 26. Find a nice man who will love everything you do. This one is a wimpy mommas boy.
    via SimbaOne1988

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entitled parents toxic-husband wedding planning mamas-boy mother floral wife reddit story relationships husband wedding mother in law wedding dress entitled Reddit payback rude toxic relationship entitled people
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