Traveler ditches friend that shows up to much anticipated European trip with her mother, putting friendship at risk

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Jul 28, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Saving up the necessary funds for a foreign trip takes years. Thus, you anticipate that the day will be perfect when it finally arrives after many hours of nonstop work and meticulous preparation!

The story below is an account of a frustrated friend. The original poster (OP) is traveling the world with one of her best friends. OP has traveled extensively in the past, so she made a point of doing the required research ahead of the trip. Her friend, on the other hand, was totally dependent on OP for direction and didn't give one cent about finding out where they were going to be vacationing. To make matters worse, she brought her mother along for the trip, which soured things even further.

So be sure to read the tale below if you're interested in learning the specifics of what happened and how OP dealt with her difficult friend! After you're through, don't forget to read the story of Karen, the customer who attempted to win a free lunch from the restaurant for the third time in a row but was caught by the manager!

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  • 01
    A399 "I am absolutely exhausted by this trip and it's only the 4th day..." PASSE
    via canva
  • 02
    My friend invited her mother to our international trip and I can't stand this lady because she is narrow-minded and ignorant. And it's gonna k this friendship.
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 03
    I have been saving up for this trip for two years. And I thought it's going to me and my friend. But she had to take her mother with her. And I just can't stand it. I just can't. I have traveled a lot in my life, I have studied and worked overseas and I have done it all solo. This is the first time I decided to take a trip with a friend. My friend had taken two international trips in the past. Guess what? One of them with her mother. She is
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 04
    almost 30 years old. Why can't she just be independent from her mother. I am absolutely exhausted by this trip. And it's only the 4th day. And 10 more days to go. I am losing my mind. I feel second-hand embarrassment for my friend's mother who makes inappropriate comments about people who look different, she asks so many questions instead of just get the phone and Google the facts about the country we are in. But no, she just treats me
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 05
    like a f ng guide. And she flirts with men. All the time. And she turns every day into a fashion show. And my friends has started to show the same behavior. And I am losing my mind. Today I had to pretend to be sick, so I could just stay in the apartment we are renting whole they went out without me. It took them 5 hours to gets going because they were not sure where to go. They were
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 06
    too lazy to do their research. And they don't speak any foreign languages. And they can't even decide what to eat at the restaurant. Use the translator, d n it. Yesterday I had to insist on us taking a few hours apart. And I spend 6 hours alone, going to book stores, getting a drink in the outdoor cafe and even meeting a few interesting ladies who are traveling as well. And those 6 hours were the best for me. I felt like myself. I enjoyed myself.
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 07
    And I am very concerned and worried that this trip is gonna affect my friendship. I am very independent and very introverted. And going on this trip with the friend wasn't really a mistake. The mistake was letting her take her absolutely insufferable mother, who doesn't want to spend any money on visiting places in one of the most beautiful and old cities in the world. What an ignorant
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 08
    and uncultured idiot of a woman. And I spend so much time preparing the trip, where we can go, planning on taking guided tours. But she doesn't want any. She just wants to go to the beach. And she can't understand a tour guide because she doesn't speak any English. I want to ask my friend why she took her mother with her but I know it's gonna end our friendship. I can't stand women who are so attached
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 09
    to their mothers. Like, grow the fk up or at least don't get me involved into this s t. This is the last time I travel with someone. And I can't tell anyone in our circle about what's happening. Of course I can't. 10 more days. UPDATE: I have just talked to my friend and it all
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 10
    backfired. I found a moment to talk to her when she was alone and her mother went to buy something. She got very defensive telling me that I am selfish and arrogant and then her mother came and we all had to argue. It got ugly. I tried to keep it civil but the damage has been done. Needless to say I am on my own from now on. I wanted to thank you all people who gave me advice and support here and gave me courage to take control of this situation and stand up for myself.
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 11
    Trick_Delivery4609 15 hr. ago I'm sorry. That sounds awful. You should've have bailed at the first mention of her mom. But since you didn't, you absolutely should still do all the trips and guided tours and restaurants YOU want. Leave them behind and just do your thing.
    via u/Trick_Delivery4609
  • 12
    Virginia_The_Woolf OP. 14 hr. ago I should have bailed. Yes. I regret it every minute now. I feel like if I don't do what I planned to do I will neglect my own needs like always. And then I will be even angrier with myself.
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 13
    I feel tired and really really sad. It was supposed to be a trip for two of us, bonding, exploring the city and the culture. And now it's me hiding from them in the apartment pretending to be sick.
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 14
    • Snackinpenguin ⚫ 15 hr. ago You're going to need to have a conversation with your friend and carve out more independent time where you're doing your own thing during this trip. Unfortunately, the time to have pushed back was before the mom came along, but you're stuck.
    via u/Snackinpenguin
  • 15
    You can explain that this was supposed to be a trip with the two of you but now you feel like you're translator, your guide and this isn't what you signed up for. Alternately, you can say that they can join you on this day for X activity, but beyond that, they are on their own. I feel for you.
    via u/Snackinpenguin
  • 16
    Virginia_The_Woolf OP 14 hr. ago You are right. I regret saying nothing. And I asked if I had to babysit her mom and she said that her mom is independent. But I know I made a mistake. I had met her mom two times prior to this trip and I didn't like her. But I was respectful.
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 17
    I regret it. I am angry with myself. And I am trying to master the courage to talk to her. I am terrified though. I do not want to lose this friend.
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 18
    Professional End5908 14 hr. ago • Just tell your friend you'd rather go off on your own as you want to do different things and you can meet for a meal a day or not. This is your vacation, take control. Never suffer in silence. I have a feeling this friendship might not survive anyway because you are too different and frankly, that's A OKAY.
    via u/Professional_End5908
  • 19
    • Virginia_The_Woolf OP 14 hr. ago That's what I feel too. She is not a bad person. But I have started noticing more differences now and it's upsetting. I will talk to her tonight. Just need to find a moment where her mother isn't there.
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 20
    CrnkyOL. 14 hr. ago You have 10 days left of a vacation you spent 2 years saving for. From this point forward, whatever misery you endure is your responsibility. Just let your friend know, this trip is not turning out the way you anticipated and you're not willing to waste
    via u/CrnkyOL
  • 21
    the rest of it. Let's just do our own thing for the remainder of the trip. If you have scheduled excursions or things like that, you can still do those with them if you choose. Stop twisting yourself in knots so you don't rock the boat.
    via u/CrnkyOL
  • 22
    Virginia_The_Woolf OP 14 hr. ago • It's a hard pill to swallow but it's true. I will try to take control of the situation tonight.
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 23
    loligo_pealeii . 14 hr. ago "Tomorrow I'm going to do X and Y. Are you and your mom going to go to the beach? Lovely! Should we try to meet up for dinner or not worry about it?"
    via u/loligo_pealeii
  • 24
    Baked Brie26 · 12 hr. ago First off- nothing wrong with traveling with a parent and liking to spend time with your mom so, I'd recommend setting those feelings aside cause they are not really relevant.
    via u/BakedBrie26
  • 25
    What IS relevant was you planned a certain trip and your friend changed the nature of said trip without consulting you or without giving you the sense that you could say no. I'm not really sure why you are so concerned about this friendship at the moment- seems like your friend is inconsiderate.
    via u/BakedBrie26
  • 26
    So be honest- why not?! I did this on a trip in college. They were people from study abroad not close friends who didn't want to do what I wanted to I said see ya and did my own thing. Solo travel is great! If you can swing it, maybe look into a nice hostel or separate accomodations. 10 more days.... pull your friend aside and say something to the effect of....
    via u/BakedBrie26
  • 27
    "You brought your mom when it was supposed to be just us and now the trip has a different dynamic. You two travel differently than me, which is fine, but I've been planning for this trip for so long so I'm going to go out and explore on my own for the rest of our time here while you all do your thing. I have a lot on my mind and I'm realizing what I need right now is some alone time to explore and think, so let's
    via u/BakedBrie26
  • 28
    check in periodically to make sure we are all safe and healthy, meet back here each night, but I'm gonna go out during the day on my own." Then enjoy your trip!!!! (Don't be afraid of civil yet unambiguous honesty. Life is a lot easier if you just advocate for yourself.... without being too cruel of course.)
    via u/BakedBrie26
  • 29
    Virginia_The_Woolf OP. 10 hr. ago Nothing wrong with traveling with parents. But she turned into a a very different person and she seems have lost all independence and has forgotten everything we planned together. We were supposed to have the same budget but since she is paying for two people all the planes are in the trash now and she doesn't do anything without her mother approval. To me it's quite shocking.
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf
  • 30
    Sea-Ad9057 14 hr. ago is it possible to perhaps change to a different town/city to stay alone tell them you feel like a 3rd wheel and would rather go solo
    via u/Sea-Ad9057
  • 31
    • Virginia_The_Woolf OP 14 hr. ago The problem is that I invested way too much much money on the accommodation and I don't want to just give up on it because of them. I think I have to talk to her. But I don't have a feeling it's gonna end well.
    via u/Virginia_The_Woolf

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