Woman Warns Her Boyfriend She Will Be Fired If She Becomes Engaged, He Sabotages Her Job With Proposal: ‘I was fired because of you’

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 30, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet queens and kings. Relationships are never easy. Sometimes it feels like it would all just be easier to be single, but unfortunately we are dependent people. Despite the complications that can occur due to relationships, we take all the chances for the chance of love. 

In this Reddit piece, the woman warns her boyfriend about her six month probation period at her new job. Other women have warned her about the instability of the position, and to not risk getting engaged or pregnant within the probation period. He proposes anyway, and what can she do? She says yes, but tries to keep it discreet. Unfortunately, it gets to her boss. One could try to argue that it wasn't because of the engagement, but you never know. And more importantly, she blames her boyfriend anyway. 

When you're done reading this, you can enjoy this Reddit piece about a SAHM who gets no help from her deadbeat husband. 

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  • 01
    TWO HOT TAKE r/TwoHotTakes ⚫ 23 hr. Due-Mango3194 AITA for saying that my boyfriend was the reason I lost my job
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 02
    Hello everyone, I am in a really annoying situation and I need to vent right now. Also, I am living in Europe and English is not my first language. . The story has a little bit of a backstory.
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 03
    My boyfriend (28) and I (female. 26) had a long distance relationship for four years. He was already working and I went off for university. Our relationship is actually great and also the distance relationship was not an issue. But we were super happy when I got a job a few months ago at a research facility close to
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 04
    him, so we could finally live together. It was not only a job close to him. It was also my dream job and even though the workplace is male dominated and very competitive, I really enjoy what I was doing and I also liked most of my colleagues. I also got a lot of positive feedback the first months of me working there. So
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 05
    really, everything seemed to work out perfectly for me.
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 06
    Background 1: While my boyfriend and I were still in a long distance relationship, he really wanted to get engaged. I told him I would like to finish my masters first as I don't have money or time for a wedding now anyways. Then I finished my studies but I struggled to find a job right away and I asked if we
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 07
    could wait a little longer because I don't even know if I would get a job close to him and I don't want to be in a long distance engagement. He really loves his job and even thought he said he would quit and move for me, I was never really sure if he truly meant it. He got a little annoyed but again respected my wishes
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 08
    for the engagement. He comes from a very Christian background and all his siblings and friends are already engaged, married or have houses and children and he really would like that type of life for us as well. But I just finished Uni and I really don't feel that rush and also marriage is not as important for a relationship for me as for
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 09
    him. Like a wedding would not change my feelings for him.
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 10
    Background 2: In the country I live in, we have a six months probation period. In that time you can quit your job any day without further notice or reason and also your workplace can let you go without further notice or reasons. I also work in the laboratory, so when I get pregnant, I am not allowed to
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 11
    work anymore until the end of pregnancy for the baby's health reasons. When I started, the few female colleagues at the facility told me I should be very careful what I say about my private life because other female colleagues in the past were already let go after they got engaged, married or bought houses. Always for
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 12
    other madeup reasons, but everyone assumes that our boss just doesn't want to pay for a woman in maternity leave. Sadly, there is really no way to prove this and this is just an assumption of the other female colleagues. But I took their advice at least while I was still in probation where I could be let go for any stupid reason.
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 13
    I told my boyfriend about it. I knew he planned the engagement for any time soon and asked if we could wait until maybe my probation is over because I was afraid I could lose my job over my private life. He got really sad and disappointed. He said that this type of work behavior was really outdated and that no work giver acts like that
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 14
    anymore these days. That these women probably really did a bad job and where let go because of that and that I don't need to worry about it because I only received good feedback up until then. I told him in the same time no men were let go and these women were all let go after major life events that would indicate starting or growing a family soon
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 15
    but he didn't wanted to hear that. He said I just don't want to get married and that I would always find a reason to postpone it. I said that that's not true but it just felt as if the time was not right for me atm. He said I wouldn't love him and that I wouldn't want to be with him forever (I literally moved 600 km to be with him
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 16
    and ignored all other job possibilities in other areas of the country but okay). Eventually, we just stopped arguing about that topic, I kinda gave in because I really don't want him to feel like I don't love him or I'm not serious about our relationship. I said he could propose if this is really important for him right now. A
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 17
    month later he also did propose and I said yes. But I kept it private from my workplace and I also didn't wear the ring at work. I also asked my now fiancée to keep it lowkey. I also don't have social media so I didn't post anything myself either. But my fiancé and his family did post about the engagement and they
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 18
    didn't kept it lowkey. My fiancés mom posted it on her Facebook and a colleague of mine, who knows my fiancés mom for some reasons, saw that post and congratulated me shortly after in a meeting in front of everyone and also my boss. My boss started asking some more personal details right after this (if
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 19
    we already live together, when the wedding would be, if we plan children), which I answered truthfully (yes we live together, wedding probably next spring and I don't have plans for children atm)
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 20
    A week ago, right before the end of the probation time, I got let go from my job. The reason: my workstyle does not fit within the team.
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 21
    I am sooo and angry but there is really nothing I can do about it. They are legally right to let me go within the first 6 months. I am even more and angry because I feel as if it was due to the engagement and that my fiancé didn't believe me and pressured this topic so much onto me. And now I am again
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 22
    without a job and need to go through the struggle of finding something close to him again. He said that maybe my working style was really just not fitting into the team and that it had nothing to do with the engagement and if me getting engaged was really the reason why they let me go, then I wouldn't want to work in
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 23
    such a hostile environment anyways. I got really angry at him. I told him that he was the reason that I was let go of this position, that he pressured this whole topic so much onto me and didn't respected my wishes to wait until the probation time is over or at least to keep the engagement low key until they can't fire me
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 24
    for any reasons. I told him that I moved for him and did everything to find a job I like close to him so he can stay close to his job, family and friends and that the least he could've done was respecting my wishes regarding our relationship milestone timelines. That there was really no reason why we had
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 25
    to get engaged right now and that he and this whole stupid situation were the reason I lost the job that I liked. He is really hurt by this and he is not really talking to me anymore since then.
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 26
    Now I am looking for jobs but the options in the area he lives in are quite limited. The whole country has better opportunities for me and now I really don't feel like only looking close to him. So am I the ?
    via u/ Due-Mango3194
  • 27
    Top-Bit85 • 23h ago No, don't worry about staying near him and his interfering family. He and his family think they know best, even when they ruin your prospects. What else will they all know best about?
    via u/Top-Bit85
  • 28
    Clean Factor9673 • 22h ago You're best off without this guy. Next step would be ramp up wedding planning because you're not working anyway, then telling you to stop birth control because you need to have babies; sabotage if you refuse, then objects to you evenlooking.
    via u/Clean Factor9673
  • 29
    It's time to end the relationship, apply to the jobs you're interested in, wherever they are, and move on.
    via u/Clean Factor9673
  • 30
    1 J... 19h ago • Edited 19h ago Let's go through the different scenarios: Either he believed you when you said that women were consistently being fired after major life events or he didn't, right?
    via u/J
  • 31
    Let's assume he did believe you. I mean... that's not even a red flag at this point. If that's the case, it means that he believed his desire to get married was more important than your need to have a job. This is a terrifying scenario that screams this guy is going to become
    via u/J
  • 32
    more and more controlling and isolate you. Now let's assume he did not believe you. Another question that becomes relevant is: did he think that you believed this or that you were making it up?
    via u/J
  • 33
    Let's say he thought you were making it up - since he accused you of just not wanting to get married, in this scenario he probably thinks you're inventing women being fired to avoid becoming his wife. You might think "he was insecure and it's easy to believe the
    via u/J
  • 34
    worse when someone is insecure" but that's being too generous. First, because the person who's supposed to love and respect you apparently believes that you would rather levy a huge accusation of systemic misogyny in your workplace
    via u/J
  • 35
    than to just... be honest with him? Lying about workplace sexism is a horrible thing to do because it can be used to dismiss real cases. I could never stay with someone who would think so little of me.
    via u/J

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