'They really drive me nuts': Entitled Sibling Throws Pool Party at Brother's House and Invites Entire Family Except Him, Brother Hears Party While Working from Home

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    r/ r/Entitled People ⚫8 hr. ago wa_geng My brother is hosting a pool party at my house today and I found out from my mother last night
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    I'm sitting in my office right now, trying to work (I work remotely), and I can hear my family in the backyard, having a pool party. A pool party that has been in planning for a week. A pool party I did not know about until last night.
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    I have a large house with an in-ground pool and I've always told my family they can come over, but to let me know ahead of time. This year, no one has used the pool so I haven't done a lot of upkeep on it. I have a salt system so it stays fairly balanced on its own.
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    But I've been really busy with work so I haven't used it myself. Last night, I was talking to my mother, and she said "Well, I will see you tomorrow." I asked what she meant by that and she said for the pool party. After digging, I found out that
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    my brother was planning on coming over the following day to use my pool. He was bringing his daughters and had coordinated with my sister to have her kids come over as well. Since my sister and her husband work during the day, my parents would be bringing them by. I asked how long this had been in
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    planning and my mom said for a least a few days now and they were just figuring out which day was best. My sister (my parents live with her) overheard the conversation and texted me to verify I knew about all of this and was surprised to find out I did not know. She texted our brother subtly asking if he had
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    coordinated all of this with me. Five minutes later, I get a text from my brother saying he planned to come swimming the next day with one of his daughters but he would be very quiet since they know I work at home. So around 11:30 am, my brother shows up with his oldest daughter. I said hello but went
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    back to work. That is when he mentioned the extra people would be there. At first, I didn't care that much since everyone was family and they had seen my house messy before. Then he mentions his daughter's boyfriend is coming too. He said "Well, she asked if he could come so I said yes".
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    I love my family but they really drive me nuts sometimes. It is not usually a big deal if my family comes over. But the fact that my brother coordinated things with other people (his ex-wife, my sister, my parents) and never thought to ask me if it was okay is just infuriating. And then to invite complete strangers as well.
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    Quick edit: My brother got divorced 5 years ago and lived with me for two years. When he moved out, he ended up moving an hour away. Due to this, during the school year, we have a set schedule where he and his daughters stay overnight at my house about twice a month. But during the summer, there is no schedule for him coming by.
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    gemmygem86 • 10h ago So you kicked them out right.
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    IntrovertedGiraffe . 10h ago Time to get a fence that locks
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    Bbqhulahoop • 10h ago Considering you haven't really said anything to your brother about the non consulting. That would probably be a good start. Explain what you had a problem with and why. Then if he still dosnt respect that boundary. It would be time to set new ground rules or lose the privilege of just turning up.
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    Cybermagetx • 10h ago Yta to yourself for not telling them no.
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    forcryingoutmeow • 10h ago Are you a doormat? No? So why are you acting like one?
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    EnterNameOrEmail • 10h ago I would have emptied the pool to do maintenance asap I knew of the party. Your brother seem like an unbearable AH
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    SheiB123 . 9h ago I would have told him that your pool was being used and not let them in. HOWEVER, going forward, tell them the pool is no longer available because they couldn't honor ONE REQUEST. Put a lock on the gate and call the cops if they try getting in without talking to you It is COMPLETELY disrespectful and Put a stop to it or they will do it again.
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    Straysmom 10h ago Your family is taking advantage of you & taking for granted that you'd be okay with this pool party. You should have shut it down immediately. I assume you have a fence around your pool? Get a locking gate. Don't let anybody in with no prior authorization. It is YOUR property. Not your families.
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    Wanderluster621 • 10h ago Why would you even tell your family this is okay, when clearly, it's not. You need to set firm boundaries with them. Contact you at least a week in advance, preferably two, in order to make arrangements. Put a stop to this 16 hour notice
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    . swissmtndog398 • 10h ago So, you said nothing when they were there? OK, when's the family meeting to set the rules? Let me guess, right after the next, unplanned, uninvited, pool party?
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    sdbinnl 9h ago You do need to grow a spine and tell them you love them, they are welcome but NOT without arranging with you ahead of time and, giving you the right information. Wheat they do is disrespectful but because you don't stand up for yourself they just treat you like a doormat.
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    2_old_for_this_spit • 9h ago Close down the open house. Tell everyone that this is the last of the pool parties. 'You and your kid can use my pool" doesn't mean "You can host parties and bring whomever you want to my house." Aside from the inconvenience and entitlement, you also have possible liability issues that could come up. From now on, visits to your home are by invitation only.
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    Cardabella • 9h ago Tell em "I let this go ahead today in spite of the situation because you all didn't know I didn't know about it. going forward I'm holding you all collectively and individually responsible to include me in discussing plans that involve my house. I expect better of you than to throw loud parties at me, disturbing me
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    when I'm busy working, earning the money that pays to keep the pool running. If we're not close enough for me to be invited we're not close enough for you to use the pool without asking."
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    • Recent_Data_305 7h ago Your brother planned a family party at your house and didn't include you. Worse he planned it during your - working hours so you'd be miserable and distracted the entire time. I'd say it's time. to establish your boundaries. This should not ever happen again. Entitled people think they own your house. NTA
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