'A cook… once served "rare" chicken': 25+ People who were staggeringly under-informed

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    ""My cousin: 'You can wash those?!" Turns out, she'd been throwing away clothes instead of washing them.' ALURILE
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    Who's the stupidest person you've ever met, and what story perfectly sums up their stupidity?
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    Rustyraider111 An old co worker named James. We worked at McDonald's and were both 16. One time, while mopping the lobby, he for some unknown reason decided to chase a number of customers around with the mop yelling "I'm gonna getcha". He was fired on the spot.
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    Eponius My brother and i were in the kitchen one day as teenagers. My brother was filling the sink to wash dishes. When the sink was nearly full he went to turn the tap off but it wouldnt budge so the water kept flowing. I tried turning it too but with no success. This is when the panic set in.
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    The level of the water was rising fast and we didn't want to flood the kitchen. He took big saucepans out of the press to fill with water to keep things from over flowing, while i was in a frantic scramble under the sink trying to find the mains to turn it off there. I couldn't find it!! Now really panicking i
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    took over the pot filling duty and my brother went running off to look for dad as quick as he could. Dad came running in with my brother while we were shoutng at him about looking for the mains. Dad just came over to the sink and pulled the plug out of the hole letting all the water down the drain. Ha ha
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    Isthatyourhair I've told this story before, but I like telling it because Tammy. I had a boss named Tammy. One night, we were all working late doing stocktake, and we were discussing the impending lunar eclipse. Someone asked what happens during an eclipse. Tammy grandly explained that the eclipse would occur when
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    America went in front of the moon, blocking our (Australia's) view of it. Like she literally thought the earth stretched itself into like a U bend or neck pillow shape, and half of it stayed in our normal orbit, and the other half stretched itself over and around to casually block the moon for the rest of the earth.
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    ChanceFray My room mate for the last 3 years once said that if solar technology keeps advancing at the rate it is, we will absorb all the energy made by the sun and fix global warming.
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    Not 5 minutes later after attempting to inform this poor fellow about how the suns energy output is not determined by what the energy eventualy interacts with, he states that wind farms are worse because they cause tropical storms. I hope he is just an epic troll. I just... I don't know...
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    needs_more_zoidberg. Our biggest argument was over whether the correct phrase is 'egg yolk' or 'egg oak'.
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    deamt My high school classmate whose name is Nick. We were in chemistry, doing a lab practical, which required the use of a bulb pipette (a glass pipette with a removable bulb that you squeeze).
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    Nick didn't know how to use the pipette so he put it to his mouth to up SULFURIC ACID. It got about three quarters of the way up before our teacher screamed "NICKKKKK!!!! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW".
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    BitcoinBanker "Why do the crossings beep." "For blind people." "But blind people can't drive?" "..."
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    PingTheAwesome My cousin. All through public school, she was a snob who looked down on everyone. She was super stylish and struggled academically. We graduated in 2014. We both went to colleges (not the same one.) She got a job at a bar, stayed out late drinking. Her boyfriend told her she
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    didn't need to complete college, so she just stopped showing up. Didn't drop; just stopped showing up. Completely flunked out. Here comes the mega stupidity: Our families live hours away from her college at the time. Her family went to move her back home. My cousin's mom noticed a pile of clothes in the corner. The
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    mom said 'what's that, your laundry? Pack it and we'll wash it when we get home later.' My cousin (I kid you not): 'you can wash those?!' Turns out, she'd been throwing away clothes. instead of washing them. She claimed she didn't know she could, yet she washed her undergarments and bras
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    without a hitch. She's now at home with her family and has started doing more chores to show an increase in responsibility. She still tries to throw clothes away, citing that she didn't know they could be washed and reused. Makes me wonder what she thought all those years before college,
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    before she left home. She wore some of the same outfits repeatedly - she had to have known they could be washed.
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    AuspiciousAuspicious. When I was in the Navy, there was a cook on my ship. He once served "rare" chicken. I genuinely couldn't tell whether he was trying to cover up his limitless incompetence or if he genuinely believed that rare poultry is a real thing. He was dumb enough to believe it.
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    Another time, he just filled a pan with ground beef and called it meat loaf. Another time he was supposed to make sugar cookies, you know, several hundred of them for the whole crew. He didn't bother to read the label on the container he opened, and apparently he didn't taste the batter at any point, and he actually made salt
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    cookies. He used up all the remaining salt in the pantry and we had unseasoned food for the remaining several weeks of the mission, during which time the captain assigned someone to be the cook's bodyguard.
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    Edits: I was not aware that chicken sashimi is a thing. Still, intentionally uncooked meat and unintentionally partially cooked meat are very different. This was the latter. You can't make salt from seawater for several reasons. One, there are no facilities to do it on
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    board. Two, no captain would jeopardize the success of a military mission by unnecessarily feeding the crew food of unknown cleanliness.
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    You couldn't just assign someone else to cook. I didn't specify, but this was on a submarine. There are no spare people to reassign and cook is already the easiest, least- able-to-cause-disaster job on the ship.
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    ShiraCheshire A girl my dad dated for a while. Even while dating her my dad would say she was dumber than a bag of rocks. One day, she sat down to watch a movie with my dad. Movie was all about this guy and his twin brother. She sits and watches the whole thing, no interruptions. At the
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    end, she turns and asks, "So there were two of him?" Would explain why she always had the TV turned to a music channel. Apparently she couldn't follow normal TV or movies.
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    Face_Roll Don't know if the stupidest, but pretty stupid: We were on a drive through an animal park. We see an animal. She asks "what kind of meat would that one be?". Someone replies "oh...it'd probably taste similar to beef I'd imagine". A few
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    minutes later we see a different animal. She asks "and what about that one? Would it be, like, a fillet or a T-bone or something?". Then I realized...this woman thinks different cuts of meat come from different animals.
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    [deleted] Once at a restaurant in New Orleans, my friend ordered macaroni and cheese. At the table with about 15 other people he says out loud, "How did macaroni and cheese become a thing?" To which I replied "What do you mean?" He says "I mean, it's so redundant,
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    you know?" I say "What? How is macaroni and cheese redundant?" And he says "Think about it. You've got cheese and then you have pasta, which is made of cheese." HE THOUGHT ALL PASTA WAS MADE OF CHEESE...
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    deeeeeetroit My freshman year roommate dropped a class because he wanted to play his PlayStation more. It put him below the minimum credit threshold for his scholarships and his parents owed $40,000
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    [deleted] My mother rolled down the car window to clean it... from inside the car... right after the car wash started.
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    RollTideGaming I worked on a hay press for about a month. Most guys had high school education. One particular guy was telling me about a girl he was talking to on Tinder (or some various dating/chat app) when he said that she was in New York and that he wanted to go visit her. I told him that that's pretty cool and
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    New York will be quite the change from our little town. He then asked me how close New York was... we were in Washington state... he had no idea New York was over 2,000 miles away.
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    ReadTomRobbins When I was a teenager my friends older brother was one of the dumbest I'd ever encountered. We once witnessed him trying to see inside a motorcycle gas tank using a bic lighter. He assured us a lighter flame isn't hot enough to ignite gasoline.
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    On another occasion, we got into a debate concerning the power of an atomic bomb. He was dead set that it could only take out " like two houses max!" O_0
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    This man went on to have multiple arrests before I moved away, also fathered 3 children by 2 women. We all lived in a trailer court as well...not saying it's a prerequisite for idiocy, but some of us get out and some do not.
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    StriderWingfoot Guy I went high school with was at a party and asked the homeowner if he could have her tattoo kit, she obviously said no. He left and came back an hour later with a ski mask on demanding for the tattoo kit. Was arrested the next day. Can't make up that kind of stupidity.
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    heinleinfan I once had a property manager (person in charge of the rental I lived in since homeowners who lived out of state) who did a bunch of obnoxious things. My husband and I thought she was greedy and maybe getting money for herself and hiding it from the homeowners for repairs
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    or something like that because of shady seeming things she would do when we had repairs. Then we mentioned something about gardening.
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    She said "You know, I've always wanted to try growing tomatoes and just watering them with salt water. That way, the tomatoes would already be salted when you ate them!" Huge reminder to never attribute to malice what is just pure old fashioned being dumb as a rock.
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    MissGrafin My 24 year old cousin. She legitimately thought that my sister being a vegetarian meant that she could not eat animal crackers...
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    [deleted] Guy I worked with named Buddy bought a huge Snap-On roll-away tool box for over $3,000, on credit. Two days later, he sold it to a coworker for $1,500 because he had some overdue bills and had to pay them. Needless to say, he never paid Snap-On for the toolbox he was off into
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    the winds after he was fired for starting his fourth fist-fight at work. One of the other guys I worked with told the Snap-On salesman where Buddy's new job was, and last we heard they are now garnishing his wages.
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    Guy was a nutcase though. He had very thin skin and the slightest thing would set him off. He's go absolutely nuts when he was set off though. He yelled at the security guard and threatened to have him fired because he didn't like his tone. He almost got fired three times for fighting, but he was able
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    to win the department manager over until the fourth time. Oh, and one time he was told to put Caution Tape across a malfunctioning gate and he said "I don't know how."
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    varunagrawal This one lady at Atlanta's Beer, Bourbon & BBQ Festival who clearly didn't know where she was. I'm getting started on this rack of ribs, quietly minding my own business with a glass of beer, when from the group in front of me this lady comes up to me and tells me how she can't stand the smell of meat,
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    roasted or smoked, and tells me to get away from there. This is despite the fact that the event's name has Barbecue in it and she had to pay $40 to get in. After she left, I had a good chuckle and facepalm with another lady at the table, but God, I've never seen more stupid in my life!
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    Lanna33 My friend's father robbed a bank in a small town in Indiana where he lived. This was in the late 70's or early 80's. He spent 10 years in prison for the crime. The same day he was released from prison, he robbed the same bank again. He was caught and back to
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    prison he goes. He did not learn in those 10 years not to rob any banks or anything in that matter. My friend was like this is what every father does and did not seem shocked over it.
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    Neltech Guy stole a bike. Cop stopped him and asked where he got it. He said he stole it.
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    [deleted] I once called an Uber driver. When he arrived, he immediately asked me: "Are you going to (X location?)?". I said: "No." He responded: "Great, because I'm not going to take you to (X location)." "Fine", I said. The journey got underway, and I was curious as to what he
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    would've done if I'd said that yes, I wanted to go to X location. So I asked him: "Hey, what would you have done if I had said that I DID want to go to X location?". He responded: "Look man, I'm not going to take you to X location, OK? I told you already." I was a bit befuddled, but I tried again: "No no, I don't want to go there.
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    In fact, you already know where I want to go, it's on your destination map. I'm just curious, what if I DID want to go to X location? Would you have refused me the trip? Would you have driven off?" He said: "Look man I can't change the trip now. And anyway I told you I refuse to go to X location. You gotta
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    understand I'm busy." we spent nearly 15 minutes with variations of this back and forth. He was a fluent English speaker, by the way. By the end of it, I was 100% convinced that he couldn't understand the syntax of a hypothetical. He literally couldn't understand the question "if (X situation which is NOT the case) then what
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    action would you take?" I wasn't even mad, just astonished. How had he navigated through life thus far? What were his financial decisions like? I really wanted to follow him home and make a reality TV show about him or something.
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    [deleted] Guy in my aircraft technician class. I'll call him Jim. The module at the time was about electrical power. We were having a review one Friday before the exam started. Earlier that week we had covered the batteries used on the aircraft, what types, how they were constructed,
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    etc. Trainer turns to Jim and asks him about the different types, expecting him to say 'lead-acid, lithium-ion' and so on. Nope. Jim thinks for a moment and says 'AA, AAA, C....'
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    When we got to the hangar for work experience, the same trainer had lost all faith in Jim. We were all assigned jobs in the morning. Me and another guy on wings, couple more on landing gear, all down through the group. Then he gets to Jim. Placed an A4
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    sheet of paper on the ground and told Jim to stand on it so it didn't blow away. We all laughed, Jim included. The trainer was joking, right? He wasn't joking. Jim stood there all day
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    TheDeviousLemon A girl from elementary school believed that outer space isn't real, that Benjamin Franklin invented the time machine, and was unaware of hammers.
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    LAW9960 A guy in my high school who was convinced that the Dutch had sore throats at night from their accent/language
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    [deleted] Old coworker of mine. He was helping me move and while we were carrying a couch he dropped it. Thinking he was hurt I asked if he was ok and with the most serious and frightening look in his eyes he said pointing: 'Look it's the moon and it's day time.' .... he was 25 at the time.

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