Bride Kicks Attention-Seeking Sister Out of Wedding After She Refuses to Follow the Color Scheme, Reigniting Old Sibling Rivalry

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 10, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

Wedding themes and color schemes are all the rage right now. Perhaps it is the natural course for a generation that was raised with themed birthdays, proms and homecomings, and Spirit Week days at school. Themes can be quite simple, such as a specific color code that the bridal party is asked to follow. Themes can also go all-out. There have been ballroom, Mardi Gras, farm, Alice in Wonderland, and even Star Wars themed weddings. While typically themes are reflected by the decorations, bride and groom, and bridal party, it is not unusual nowadays to incorporate the guests, too.

In our story today, a bride implemented a simple color code for her wedding. She wanted her guests to arrive wearing yellow, blue, or green - depending on their relationship to her and her husband. Her sister, citing her complexion, refused to wear yellow (or a neutral color as was also allowed), and instead wore a purple dress to the wedding, drawing attention to herself and away from the wedding couple in the process. Read below for the bride's reaction and for some background information of how sibling rivalry led to this dramatic moment. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAs u/Alive_Baker8802.15h AITA for kicking my sister out of my wedding because she did not follow the color scheme?
    via u/
  • 02
    When I 25F was 9, my parents adopted my sister "Jen" who was 7 at the time. Jen was thin and fearful due to being neglected. We did everything to make her feel loved. We bought her lots of toys. Everything Jen wanted, she got. When my parents asked me to move to the smaller bedroom so Jen could have my room, I was happy to. When they asked if I would let Jen pick the decorations and cake for my upcoming birthday, I agreed. I was so happy to have a sister, and I understood why my parents gave her
    via u/Alive_Baker8802
  • 03
    Only the treatment didn't stop. For years, every trip we went on, we had to do what Jen wanted to do. We had to eat where she wanted to eat. And she got to plan all MY birthday parties. If she didn't get what she wanted, she threw a tantrum. I still felt loved and cared for by my parents-they drove me to practices, bought me things, cooked meals for me, spent quality time and gave me advice, but I was always second to Jen.
    via u/Alive_Baker8802
  • 04
    As I got older, I did anything I could to leave the house. I got my first job when I was 12. I vacationed with friends instead of family. I played three different sports and did band. I took my driver's test the DAY I turned 16 and bought a car the day after. I went to college on the other side of the country.
    via u/Alive_Baker8802
  • 05
    Now that I make good money, I do things I missed as a child. I take fancy vacations and throw elaborate parties as I please. My wedding was no exception. My fiancée "Kip" and I wanted everything to be perfect. We thought it would be fun to have a color scheme. My favorite color is yellow, and his is blue, so my guests would wear yellow, his would wear blue, and mutual friends would wear green. I picked out a dress with green embroidered details, and he picked a boutonniere with green flowers.
    via u/Alive_Baker8802
  • 06
    When Jen found out about this, she was mad. I didn't know this, but she hates yellow and it "washes her out." She told me under no circumstances would she wear yellow. I shrugged and said that was fine-I would just kick her out if she did not wear yellow.
    via u/Alive_Baker8802
  • 07
    There was no further discussion, but on my wedding day Jen came in a purple dress. I told her to leave immediately. The color scheme was perfect and she ruined it. Jen refused to leave until I threatened to call security.
    via u/Alive_Baker8802
  • 08
    The rest of the wedding went smoothly, but afterwards my parents were furious with me for kicking Jen out. I told them that I warned her she would be kicked out if she didn't follow the color scheme, but they said they all thought it was a joke.
    via u/Alive_Baker8802
  • 09
    They said it was cruel of me to kick my sister out over something so trivial. I told them this was MY wedding that I threw without their support, so I can kick out whoever I want to. Kip came rushing to defend me and even told my parents they should be ashamed of how they treated me, but over the past few days, a lot of people I've talked to- grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, have been mixed. Some say they wouldn't have even invited Jen if they were me, while others think I should have let i
    via u/Alive_Baker8802
  • 10
    Edit: (contest mode is over and I can finally edit) I want to make a few things clear. 1-1 figured people would assume this, but I did NOT ask my guests to dress head to toe in their assigned color. I completely understand that people might not have yellow formalwear laying around. I said to dress in only neutral colors and/or your assigned color, so someone could wear a black dress and yellow jewelry, a blacks suit and a yellow tie, etc, but no colors outside neutral or your assigned color. 3-1
    via u/Alive_Baker8802
  • 11
    saintandvillian • 14h Partassipant [4] NTA. The question here isn't whether or not a color scheme is stupid. It very well could be but it's also becoming the norm. And frankly, if you don't like it, you don't have to attend the event. But what you don't get to do is say a color scheme is stupid so I'll make up my own rules and force the couple being married to let me in. Jen was stupid here. OP, you did the right thing in kicking her out. Her feelings, that she can dictate the rules for your wed
    via u/saintandvillian
  • 12
    FeuerroteZora • 14h Asshole Enthusiast [5] To me it's also very telling that Jen is apparently the ONLY guest who had trouble with the color scheme. If everyone else managed to do it then it wasn't that fucking difficult. ... 3.9k
    via u/FeuerroteZora
  • 13
    mwenechanga • 13h Partassipant [1] I wonder if some people made a deliberate decision to call themselves friends of both, just so they could wear green rather than yellow. That's a tiny loophole in this scheme! 114
    via u/mwenechanga
  • 14
    autisticDIL 14h also i think its funny how ALL shades of yellow wash her out. like be serious lol. im sure yellow isnt everyones colour but there are so many variants of every colour in the rainbow and im positive she couldve found one yellow that suited her. it probably didnt even have to be fully yellow. it probably couldve been white and yellow and been fine. so many opportunities to compromise and jen refused to bc it wasnt what she wanted
    via u/autisticDIL
  • 15
    irowells1892 • 14h To be fair, my complexion means all shades of yellow look terrible on me. Pale yellow, mustard, dandelion, gold - literally all of them make me look jaundiced and gravely ill. But I would absolutely wear them to a wedding anyway if asked to, because it's not about me.
    via u/irowells1892
  • 16
    ก Stormy111161 · 14h Partassipant [1] NTA. I have been to weddings where the bride and groom wanted a color scheme. To date I have not known of anyone who had such a problem that they showed up in a different color just for spite. Because make no mistake about it, that is exactly why your sister showed up in purple, pure spite. If the color yellow was really the problem, she could have asked to wear blue. Instead, she showed up in purple with the express intention of upstaging the bride and groo
    via u/Stormy111161
  • 17
    Your parents have been sto you ever since your sister showed up. Time to call them and your sister out for their obnoxious behavior and blatant favoritism. ← Reply 2.4k
    via u/Stormy111161
  • 18
    owlsandmoths • 13h Partassipant [1] to date I have not known of anyone who had such a problem that they showed up in a different colour just for spite My sister-in-law got married three years ago and specifically said that we had to wear neutral nature colours and nobody was allowed to wear black at all -no black shoes, no black pants, no black accessories (belts, handbags) anything at all; she also specifically asked me to dye my neon green hair a "natural colour" so that it would fit in with h
    via u/owlsandmoths
  • 19
    wedding colours and I was in the bridal party for my sister wedding; I attended SIL's as a guest only. Because we weren't allowed to wear black, but I had to dye my hair a "natural" colour I dyed it black out of spite. I felt like the no black rule was a specific dig to me because exclusively I wear 99% black; all of my formal or dress clothes are black. I've never felt more basic in my life as I did during that day wearing exclusively beige; also for the fact that nobody else was given a specif
    via u/owlsandmoths
  • 20
    cwrightbrain ⚫ 14h • I'm not a fan of overly themed weddings with "what to wear" instructions, but on the other hand I have heard way worse. There are eighty-billion shades of yellow and blue, so its no big deal. And really, if anyone had a serious objection to it, they just politely could bow out of it. That said, what your sister did was an obvious play at upstaging you, just like she always has done.
    via u/cwrightbrain
  • 21
    NTA because you were standing up for yourself. But, if you actually try to continue to maintain a relationship with her, be super-clear about your boundaries to her and your parents. She could continue to make waves especially now that she knows you'll stand up to her. Reply 648
    via u/cwrightbrain
  • 22
    ArtShapiro 15h . Pooperintendant [55] INFO: Why was she even invited to your wedding? You apparently have every reason in the world to resent how you always were treated more poorly than she - I'm sympathetic to your story. It's a bit surprising that you'd want her anywhere near the event. Reply 762
    via u/ArtShapiro
  • 23
    Inevitable_Pin8921 • 14h Judging by how Jen has been treated her entire life by their family, I bet ever single person would freak out and ask OP why sister isn't invited, leading to even more stress and calls on top of wedding planning. 639
    via u/Inevitable_Pin8921
  • 24
    Ratchet_gurl24 • 14h The parents have enabled her behaviour for years. Apparently Jen is so accustomed to getting exactly what she wants, that she believes she can't possibly be wrong. OP warned her about the colour scheme, and what would happen if it's ignored. Better late than never, Jen has finally experienced that she will be held accountable for her actions. Reply 277
    via u/Ratchet_gurl24

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