Woman Discovers Suspicious Texts Between Husband and His Female Coworker, Making Her Question Their Relationship and Leading to Distrust

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  • 01
    r/relationship_advice u/ThrowRAjasthi • 3d Found messages proving my (26F) husband (27M) wouldn't cheat but I still feel betrayed. How should I go about this?
  • 02
    My husband (27M) and I (26F) have been together for almost three years, married for six months and I'm 22 weeks pregnant with our first child. My husband is very loving, supportive, and affectionate and I know he's going to be an amazing father.
  • 03
    Yesterday, I saw my husband laughing at something on his phone and when I asked him what it was, he just said it's nothing and to not worry about it and sat beside me and kissed my forehead. Normally, he would show me and we would have a little laugh together but not this time. I couldn't get it out of my head and I ended up looking through his phone when he was in the shower last night and found messages between him and a female coworker. Up till a month ago, everything was professional and onl
  • 04
    My husband turned her down every single time and he trolled and made fun of her attempts to get with him. For example, my husband would respond with things like "Didn't your mother teach you to stay away from married boys?" and "Maybe if you put in the energy and effort you use in trying to seduce me into your job, you might actually get promoted". She also insulted me a few times calling me things like chubby, fat, ugly, etc and my husband would just say things like "I'm going to go kiss my chu
  • 05
    I feel betrayed by this. He's been entertaining someone else's attempts to get with him despite the fact she was trying to undermine me, and finding amusement in it. I know he has a side of him that finds humor in everything but I would expect that he would shut this down immediately without making jokes out of it. How should I deal with this? 1,433 ☐ 695 D
  • 06
    QualitySpirited9564. 3d Come clean that you snooped, mainly bc he needs to go to HR before she does. I'm getting mad vibes that she'd be the type to flip major scrips if she made a real move & didn't get her way. I mean the way she's coming at your husband knowing about you and your baby etc....dont put anything past this woman.
  • 07
    He absolutely needs to cut her off - AFTER reporting - I wouldn't let on anything is different until then bc whew...yall could be into some bunny boiling territory idk Reply Ŵ 2k ♡ ☆
  • 08
    Propofolkills 3d This - whatever about his marriage, he's an idiot not to get ahead of this at work. 484
  • 09
    AccountabilityPanda • 2d Its seems like they have plenty of evidence to prove hes not in any real danger at work. Sure, he should go to HR right away, but its not like hes about to lose a case, here. I worked in HR for years and this would definitely lead to the termination of the female coworker. We would never go after the husband with text evidence like that. Our company would catch a very big "wrongful termination" lawsuit. It's just not realistic for him to worry too much. 108
  • 10
    Salty-Alternate • 2d Yea, my feeling is that he has plenty of reason to go to HR, but not to protect himself from some sort of future possible accusations from her, but because she IS already currently sexually harassing him. ← 86
  • 11
    Substantial_Pie_8619 • 2d The way he's acting makes me think he gets these vibes too so he's just not being too aggressive with rejecting so she doesn't go full nuclear girls like her can be class A crazy 212
  • 12
    theladyorchid. 2d Or he kind of enjoys the attention; he's not shutting it down 226
  • 13
    KayEyeDee 2d • "if you spent as much time on your actual job as you did trying to seduce married men, you might actually get a promotion" is maybe most aggressive rejection I've ever seen in my Life. So this statement makes NO sense to me 167
  • 14
    Murphy Murphy Murphy 2d I don't think so. I'd still categorize it as flirty and playful. Anything but a firm, "This is really inappropriate. Please stop" is flirty and playful in my book. ← 137
  • 15
    Tapeworm III • 2d Him not shutting that down the moment she insulted you would have me seeing absolute red. He probably finds this flattering and amusing. Curious if he'll be able to find the humor when he loses his wife and his job. ... Reply 49
  • 16
    The-Real-Mumsida ⚫ 2d I'm a dude and when I read your husband's text responses to her the only thing I saw was flirting posing as rejection. What he should have texted back to this is "As you know, I'm married. I find your texts repulsive and highly unprofessional. Don't ever bring this up again. And btw I will be letting my wife know what you're up to." Keep an eye on your husband. Reply 781
  • 17
    Jealous-Ad-5146 • 3d He shouldn't be talking to her anymore. She should be blocked. She just tried to destroy your family. And he's LAUGHING. You're sitting there with his baby in your belly. I don't know how you haven't lost it. Reply 398
  • 18
    potenttechnicality • 3d I can see how you'd be offended. I can also see this an attempt to defuse a possibly volatile workplace situation e.g., he pretends he thinks she's joking, she responds in the same vein, etc. Talk to him about it. That should tell you enough to understand better what's happening. Reply 1.5k
  • 19
    Houndstooth Reader • 3d If he's trying to "defuse a potentially volatile workplace situation," he should enforce firm boundaries and not entertain this coworker's inappropriate questions about his life. Joking with her about her blatant offers to sleep with him, laughing as he texts with this woman, and hiding the conversations from his wife-all of these behaviors encourage a potentially volatile workplace situation (not to mention damage to his marriage). 648
  • 20
    ChuckyJo ⚫ 3d I don't know about that. She was "tipped off" by him giggling over a text message not by him seeming stressed and annoyed over a text. That doesn't really seem like a dude trying to walk the tightrope of maintaining the peace with an unstable coworker. I would hope my spouse would make clear that ongoing disrespect of my spouse and our relationship isn't going to be tolerated. ... 178

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