19 Tweets About Marriage That Sum It Up Beautifully

These tweets about marriage paint a beautiful picture of what to expect in the married life. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    Text - Grant Tanaka Follow @Grant Tanaka Wife: It's like every man on earth has to share one brain Me: [can't think of a good comeback because it's not my turn to use the brain] 1:06 AM - 7 Mar 2016 2,022 3,627
    via Sebastian
  • 02
    Text - Boyd's Backyard TM @The BoydP Follow Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife's is around $643.27. Apparently 7:11 PM 19 Jul 2013 4,508 5,913
    via Sebastian
  • 03
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn Wife: We need milk, eggs, and bread. Write it down. Me: No need. I'll remember. [an hour later] Wife: What did you buy? Me: A panda 11:39 PM - 6 May 2016 2,213 7,301
    via Sebastian
  • 04
    Text - Josh Follow @iwearaonesie *pulls curtain back while wife is in the shower* me: Are we stop screaming, it's just me- are we out of Cheetos? 7:21 PM 24 Feb 2016 2,486 4,002
    via Sebastian
  • 05
    Text - Housy Wife @wife_housy Follow Sorry. I was late because I had to find all the things that were in plain sight for my husband. 6:34 AM 17 Jul 2015 741 1,275
    via Sebastian
  • 06
    Text - Amy Dillon @amydillon Follow When my husband goes outside to investigate a strange noise, how long do I have to wait before un-pausing the show we were watching? 6:20 AM 30 Dec 2015 745 1,816
    via Sebastian
  • 07
    Text - Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22 Follow When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" People always clap when she wakes up 5:32 AM 18 Aug 2015 1,459 2,325
    via Sebastian
  • 08
    Text - Josh Follow @iwearaonesie Before I got married I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge 8:41 PM 10 Jun 2015 1,890 3,013
    via Sebastian
  • 09
    Text - Josh Follow @iwearaonesie My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless. It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth 11:18 PM 10 Oct 2014 1,440 2,260
    via Sebastian
  • 10
    Text - Grant Tanaka Follow @Grant Tanaka Txt from wife: where r u Me:kitchen Wife:can u feed cat M: I mean garage W:bring in laundry M:bathroom W:clean toilet M: Idaho W:get potatos 9:40 PM 16 Mar 2015 t 3,882 5,907
    via Sebastian
  • 11
    Text - Justin Guarini Follow @Justin Guarini My wife wanted two kittens but l am the man in this house so we got two kittens 3:19 AM 17 Jan 2015 t 2,221 3,881
    via Sebastian
  • 12
    Text - Josh Follow @iwearaonesie wife: Why is your back all scratched up? [flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone] me: I'm having an affair 4:30 PM 18 Aug 2016 t5,057 8,064
    via Sebastian
  • 13
    Text - Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Follow [out in public] Me: A kid is crying. Wife: It's not one of ours. [we fist bump] 5:48 PM 13 Dec 2015 793 2,355
    via Sebastian
  • 14
    Text - Max Dylan Ash @mynameisntdave Follow ME: honey, it's really muggy out today WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u ME: *sips coffee from bowl 8:15 PM 15 Jun 2015 13,324 21,593
    via Sebastian
  • 15
    Text - Rachel Kisiel Follow @RachelKisiel Husband "I love you so much" Me - "I know you're not talking to me" "looks over at him as he's kissing the cat #MarriedLife
    via Sebastian
  • 16
    Text - KA Dowling Follow @KayAyDowling My husband just told me we have no similar interests anymore because I don't want to listen to "Shiny" from Moana on repeat. #marriedlife
    via Sebastian
  • 17
    Tiger - Jocelyn O. Bacala @jobacala Follow The analogy between the wife and a tiger. #MarriedLife This is how your wife waits for you when you say you are comina in 10 minutes.
    via Sebastian
  • 18
    Text - Justin Ben Follow @yawenhubz Wife just exclaimed loudly she has a cancerous growth. After inspecting it, I determined it was her wristbone. #marriedlife
    via Sebastian
  • 19
    Table - Gina Follow @TheWiseAreWild Because we had a "discussion" about leaving his socks on the floor... #MarriedLife #HusbandLogic
    via Sebastian

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

twitter marriage relationships tweet dating funny
Scroll Down For The Next Article