Woman Ends It With Boyfriend Who Refuses to Cook in the Relationship: 'I just like being spoiled'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 1, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Welcome, gossip goddesses. Before you move in with your partner, living with them can seem like the ideal situation. You'll be able to spend more quality time together, don't have worry at all about commuting to each other, and finally get a taste of the husband-and-wife married life. Sometimes that taste is enough to have you spitting it right back out, though, because after moving in, you become aware of their more unsavory home habits that may not have been immediately obvious when you were just a guest in their territory. Furthermore, splitting up the house chores in such a way that everyone feels satisfied and appreciated can feel a bit like politics and might have you wondering if you should draw up a contract with a lawyer about how often the toilet gets cleaned - and by who!

In our story today, a woman discovers rather quickly that her bae is not interested in a fair division of labor - he prefers to be 'spoiled.' Read below to find out how our protagonist broke it off with her momma's boy.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    r/ r/Bestof RedditorUpdates u/westcoastcdn19 • 14h . I made dinner for only myself last night
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 02
    I made dinner for only myself last night - August 17, 2024 (post recovered via Unddit) Since moving in with my boyfriend, I have somehow become the only one doing kitchen duty. Well, most duties actually. I do all the laundry, I take the trash out to the bins, do all the cleaning in the bathroom, I dust the furniture. Then the kitchen duties... I do all grocery shopping, I make the menu, I do all the cooking and then do the dishes and clean the sink/ counters. I feed and water the cats and dog (
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 03
    Obviously this is now starting to cause lots of resentment. I have tried just not doing things... but they don't get done. I can't live in filth and I won't let his cats suffer because he doesn't notice the bowls are empty or the litter box is gross and full so I break down and do it. I have tried asking him to do things... they still don't get done or at least not in a timely fashion. He has "forgotten" to take the trash bins to the curb causing us to have an access amount of bags for a week, o
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 04
    SUPER frustrated, I was working second shift instead of first like I normally do because a coworker had a child care emergency and I was being nice. I was coming home from work at ten pm super hungry and of course my boyfriend hadn't. made dinner. And he has the nerve to complain about being starving when he's been home 5 hours... Even making something simple we weren't eating til 1130 or so and then he was going straight to bed leaving me with cleaning up and putting the leftovers away.
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 05
    I ended up telling my boyfriend how crazy stressed I was keeping up with everything in the household. I felt pathetic but I was basically begging him to make things more equal. He seemed to understand and promised to do more. And for a couple weeks - he kinda did. He made the grocery order, cleaned the litter boxes, grilled for us twice. But that didn't last for long and somehow I still was responsible for reminding him to help or assigning him these jobs.
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 06
    This last week my boyfriend has been on vacation from work. He had so much PTO racked up that he had to take time off because he couldn't earn anymore. I still worked by normal 48 hours 6a-2p. I was getting home from work around 230 to hear my boyfriend complain about being hungry and asking to make some lunch. This has completely set me off and I've lost so much attraction to him. I refused every time causing him to have an attitude with me.
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 07
    When I got off work yesterday, I was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch. We had discussed the day before we would be having burgers that night for dinner, something he likes to make and that are actually really good when he does. But I woke up at seven pm to him playing video games in our bedroom and asking "when's dinner?" I left him to game and pattied myself a burger, fried it, and ate MY Supper alone at the kitchen table. I cleaned up my mess and sat down in the living room to watch some
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 08
    We go to bed and this morning he complains about being starving, asking for pancakes or something more filling for breakfast than cereal since he didn't get dinner. I don't know how much longer this can go on.
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 09
    TOP COMMENT: yourlifecoach69 Is this rage bait? 'Cause I feel rage. How long are you locked into your lease? pillowprincess-alt (OP) February unfortunately
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt, u/yourlifecoach69
  • 10
    **UPDATE** An update to I made dinner for only myself last night August 20, 2024 - Hi, had many people ask for an update to my original post in comments and in direct messages so here goes..
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 11
    Sunday my boyfriend and I had a lengthy discussion about the household inequality. I once again stressed with him how overworked I was, that I was losing attraction to him, that I was rethinking a future because being his mom was never something that I wanted to do. My boyfriend FINALLY seemed to get that this was a make it or break it situation. He confided that he enjoyed being "spoiled " by me and apologized for taking advantage. He cried over the thought of losing me. He promised to do more
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 12
    On to today- this morning my boyfriend and I were getting ready for work and he asked me if I would be okay making dinner tonight because he was planning on mowing and weeding after work. I agreed, although I was thinking that he should have mowed this weekend, especially since the last four days he's said "I'm going to mow tonight" but it needs done so whatever. He then made a comment about how "it makes sense for you to make dinner most days anyways" I ask why he figured that and his reasoning
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 13
    This really earlier didn't matter when I worked the second shift last month and he gets home before 530 so it's not like he couldn't relax for an hour or so before cooking and I will never have a "free" day to myself. Plus since moving in together, anytime we argue about him not contributing his reasoning is I get off work earlier- not taking in to account that I work two days more than him. It was obvious then that he hadn't really learned anything. I told him so, and started crying because tha
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 14
    So I've been pretty useless at work today making phone calls and preparing my next move. I sent an email to my old boss, I'm sure if they have any positions open he would be glad to have me back. And a friend has been nice enough to offer me her spare room until my bfs lease runs out. Unfortunately my landlord was not willing to remove me from lease bcuz he doesn't think boyfriend can pay for it himself so I'm just preparing to send him half of rent until February, but as soon as I have employme
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 15
    I am very sad. I loved him. Still do. This is my first time moving in with a boyfriend and I thought I did everything right. Like we didn't rush, waited a year and ten months to take this step and made sure he could take care of his without me, but it still ended up this way.
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 16
    TOP COMMENTS: MLeek Welp, someday you'll be grateful to him for making it so brutally clear that he didn't intend to change a thing. The painful cluelessness of moping about 'one day to himself', and still not realizing that was him informing you that you never get a day off of caring for him. His time was his. And your time was his. Congrats on making a tough and quick exit.
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt, u/MLeek
  • 17
    And don't be too hard on yourself. You learned her could take care of his without you, but once he had acquired your services, he choose not to. You can't perfectly protect against someone who has made that choice. Give yourself all the permission in the world to be angry with him. He was always capable. He made a choice in how he treated you.
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt
  • 18
    mynn Don't send your boyfriend half the rent. Submitted directly to the landlord with a note every month clearly stating that that is your half of it. Reminder, I am not OP. Do not contact OP or comment on linked posts 1,925 ☐ 160 D
    via u/westcoastcdn19, u/pillowprincess-alt, u/mynn
  • 19
    Johannes Chimp • 10h I just don't understand how someone who you supposedly love and care about expresses to you that they're struggling and you not only don't do whatever you can to help them but also admit you liked them "spoiling" you. ← Reply 1.1k
    via u/Johannes_Chimp
  • 20
    YardageSardage • 9h It's really simple. You care about them less than you care about having an easy life for yourself. ← 55
    via u/YardageSardage
  • 21
    damselindetech ⚫ 10h . I still have questions that will need to wait for God. Don't send your boyfriend half the rent. Submitted directly to the landlord with a note every month clearly stating that that is your half of it. This right here. If she can't trust him during the relationship not to her over with the workload at home, she certainly can't trust him after the breakup her over in whatever other way is to not accessible to him. ← ☑ Reply 1.9k
    via u/damselindetech
  • 22
    bbbbeletsgo. 10h The fact that he admitted to knowingly taking advantage of her and enjoying it is wild⚫ Reply 211
    via u/bbbbeletsgo
  • 23
    BooleansearchXORdie 9h NOT CARROTS He had no shame in saying it because he believes the world owes him comfort and he is selfish enough to not care that it's at her expense. ← a Ŷ 79
    via u/BooleansearchXORdie
  • 24
    Ronenthelich • 10h At least she got out of that relationship when she did. This man would be useless as a parent. Reply 395
    via u/Ronenthelich
  • 25
    Original_Rent7677 • 10h He would be upset at having to "babysit" his children if she was out somewhere. 203
    via u/Original_Rent7677
  • 26
    LadyNorbert • 10h Tomorrow is a new onion. Wish me onion. Onion I hope the cats will be okay without her. I don't care if the bf lives in filth but I hope he does right by the cats. Reply 128
    via u/LadyNorbert
  • 27
    Sorchochka • 10h Initiated into the Order of Omar He will 100% take care of those cats and the apartment without her. He was completely capable before she moved in. He just figured he could absolve himself of any responsibility now that he had a maid. 189
    via u/Sorchochka

Tags

boyfriend cleaning Female Empowerment moving in reddit story relationships girlfriend feminism couples chores love entitled breakup spoiled reddit thread Reddit dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article