Woman Overhears Her Brother's Fiancée Trash Talking Her Marriage, She Declines Their Wedding Invitation

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 8, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Welcome, gossip-loving goddesses of the internet. Many of us who thrive off spilling tea dream of an opportunity to eavesdrop on a juicy conversation. Like some meddling mother-in-law in a telenovela, you'd walk by two people talking in hushed voices behind their hands, or perhaps they'd be speaking candidly out-loud, unaware that their door is slightly ajar. You'd walk by, minding your own business, until your hear your friend's name, your lover's name, or maybe even your own name. Then, you'd lean in close or pretend to be engrossed in another activity while silently soaking up their confidential convo. 

What if these women were talking about you and your husband - calling him a gold-digger and implying he only married you for the money? What if those women actually were your brother's soon-to-be wife and her bridesmaid? In our story today, our protagonist stumbles upon this very conversation, leading her to peace out of the wedding. Her brother is sure to ask for her reasoning, and she must decide whether or not to expose his fiancée's true feelings. Read the full details of the conversation below.

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  • 01
    r/AITAH u/StrangeAioli7777 • 1d AITAH for Not Wanting to Attend My Brother's Wedding After My SIL Trash-Talked My Husband? Advice Needed
    via u/StrangeAioli7777
  • 02
    So, I (32F) need to get something off my chest, and I'm really struggling with this. My brother John (34M) is getting married in a few weeks to Sarah (31F). At first, I really liked Sarah, we got along fine, and I was genuinely happy for them.
    via u/StrangeAioli7777
  • 03
    For context, my husband Mark (33M) comes from a more humble background. His family isn't as well off as mine, but they're the kindest people, and Mark works hard. We've never had money issues, and honestly, we're happy just living a simple life. But my family has always been better off financially, and it's something I've always just... ignored, I guess. Didn't think it mattered.
    via u/StrangeAioli7777
  • 04
    A couple of weeks ago, though, I was at a small family gathering, and I overheard Sarah talking to one of her bridesmaids. She was saying some pretty nasty things about Mark-calling him a "gold digger" and saying his family was "leeching off mine" because they're not well-off financially. She said Mark was "lucky to have married up" and basically implied he only married me for money. I was completely stunned. Like, how could she think that about the person I love? I was so mad, I just left witho
    via u/StrangeAioli7777
  • 05
    Later, when I calmed down a bit, I texted Sarah about it, and she brushed it off like it was no big deal. She said it was just wedding stress and "jokes" between friends. But it didn't feel like a joke, it felt like she really meant it, and I just can't shake it.
    via u/StrangeAioli7777
  • 06
    Now, I really don't want to go to the wedding. How can I stand there, watching her marry my brother, knowing she thinks so lowly of my husband and his family? Mark, bless him, said he'd support whatever I decide, but it's tearing me up. My parents found out I'm hesitant to go and are pushing me hard to attend. They say it's "just one day" and that I need to "support family no matter what."
    via u/StrangeAioli7777
  • 07
    But I'm torn. If I skip the wedding, it's going to cause a huge rift, but if I go, I'll feel like I'm betraying my husband and myself by pretending everything's okay. I haven't told my brother exactly what was said, because I know it'll blow things up, and I don't want to ruin his big day. But also, I just don't know if I can look him in the eye knowing what Sarah really thinks. So, AITAH for not wanting to go to my own brother's wedding? 2,525 533 Д
    via u/StrangeAioli7777
  • 08
    Negative_Day5178 • 1d Is it only judgments, or is it some projection? She keeps focusing on accusing Mark of marrying up and coming into money, but isn't she also? Ultimately, I agree with you that OP is NTA for not going and should share with her brother what was said before deciding to give him a chance to reflect on his fiancé's words. If her brother stands by his fiance, there's no reason OP shouldn't stand by her own husband then.
    via u/Negative_Day5178
  • 09
    They are adults, and OP has already started her own family, the one she chose to begin with her husband. He is her nuclear family now and should be respected as such. 847
    via u/Negative_Day5178
  • 10
    Remarkable_Echo5616 • 23h You could be on to something, the whole situation does emanate a possible level of projection. Maybe even more reason to tell the brother. I agree fully with the rest of your assessment as well 278
    via u/Remarkable_Echo5616
  • 11
    Congealed BeanKingdom 21h • We don't know. We don't know what her family background is. She is clearly a disgusting snob though. Mark might have 'done well' by 'marrying up', but OP's brother is clearly marrying some sort of detritus so I guess he's marrying down into the gutter. 71
    via u/CongealedBeanKingdom
  • 12
    StrangeAioli7777 OP. 13h like you said she has no right talking about my husband... she is also marrying into our family!! thank you ... ← 27
    via u/StrangeAioli7777
  • 13
    Creepy-Project38 • 1d You should tell your brother about her remarks. If I was your brother I wouldn't marry her not going to lie, not just because she trash talked my sisster's husband but also she seem to have deeper issues with judging others & thinking badly of them. ← Reply 2.4k
    via u/Creepy-Project38
  • 14
    BoredandBrowse ⚫ 23h Projection is a funny thing. She's clearly the gold digger and she's projecting her pathetic insecurities onto the husband. ← 45
    via u/BoredandBrows
  • 15
    Enigmatic-Sorrows23. 1d NTA - It's understandable that you don't want to attend your brother's wedding after hearing what Sarah said about your husband. It's not just wedding stress, it's a reflection of her true character. It's up to you whether you want to confront her or not, but either way, your feelings are valid and you shouldn't feel pressured to attend just for the sake of family harmony. Also, maybe put some eye drops in Sarah's drink. Just kidding... maybe. Reply Ŵ 611
    via u/Enigmatic-Sorrows23
  • 16
    Tiggie200. 1d I think OP needs to talk to her brother about it so he understands why she's not going. The whole "Family supports family no matter what" is a huge load of BS. If that were the case, why aren't they supporting OP in her defence of her husband who is Family? The bride hasn't even become Family as they aren't married yet.
    via u/Tiggie200
  • 17
    chez2202 1d Tell your brother what he's marrying. Reply 114
    via u/chez2202
  • 18
    ItsMeMissi⚫ 1d Ask your soon to be SIL if SHE'S a gold digger, since she's marrying into your wealthy family. Reply 214
    via u/ItsMeMissi
  • 19
    OP, Speak to your brother. Let him know the reason you're not going. Tell him that while you love him, and support him, you cannot attend as you feel you need to stand by your husband in defence of his character. He didn't marry for money, he married for love. His love of you. You'd know, by now, if he were a gold digger and it's clear that he's not and SIL is jealous of the love you share for each other. Edit: Spelling. 405
    via u/ItsMeMissi
  • 20
    elegantmomma • 1d NTA. What Sarah said was absolutely not a joke, she was dead serious. Then, when confronted about it, she tried to gaslight you into thinking you were the crazy one. You definitely need to tell your brother before the wedding. Show him the texts where Sarah was trying to manipulate you. Tell him you will love him no matter what but you can't go on basic principle. ← ☑ Reply 67 ↓
    via u/elegantmomma
  • 21
    Article Old598 • 1d This. Sarah's defense is so weak. She wasn't making jokes, she was insulting your husband. Sarah is a backstabbing projecting 25
    via u/ArticleOld598
  • 22
    Gohighsweetcherry • 1d Have you told your brother John what she said and how she said it? I'd want to know if he shared her small minded and pathetic views. Reply 46
    via u/Gohighsweetcherry
  • 23
    Valuable-Job-7956 • 1d Your Parents are right you should support family. And Mark is your family don't go and tell your Brother why NTA ... Reply 94
    via u/Valuable-Job-7956
  • 24
    BlueBirdie0 21h Yeah, I'm kind of surprised at all the people going "tell your brother, he needs to know what type of woman he is marrying." In my opinion, this kind of -talking likely doesn't come out of nowhere and it would be kind of random if this girl, on her own, starting hating on OP's husband. On the other hand, if her soon to be husband hates on her husband....well, it wouldn't be a surprise if SIL to be also picked up on it. 15
    via u/BlueBirdie0

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