Woman Bans Her Friend's Kids From Her Home But Continues to Expect Other Moms to Host Her Children for Play Dates

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    TWO TAKE r/TwoHotTakes u/Lostgirltinkerbell • 15h AITAH for cutting off a friend for saying my daughter isn't welcome in their home?
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    I, 27 f, have a friend who we will call Anna, 23 f. Anna and her fiancé constantly come to our house with their two kids who are ages 1 and 2. I have two daughters ages 3 and 8. We only became friends about 3 months ago, and have gotten pretty close in that short period of time. They say they love coming to our house because it's fairly large and they say they feel comfortable here and their kids can be kids here as we have very kid friendly home lots of toys and room to play.
  • 03
    Our basement has flooded recently and needs fixed, and Anna's fiancé is in the business to fix it. So he had agreed to do it. Well a few days ago in our group text of Anna, her fiancé, my husband and myself, I texted asking if we could come over so we could discuss our basement plan. Anna said no but that they would come over the next day to talk about it. I didn't think much of it, it was later in the evening I thought maybe they just weren't up for company at that time and went about my night.
  • 04
    in the play room. Anna started off the conversation by saying "sorry we said no about coming over yesterday, we just don't like older kids at our house because in the past older kids have broken our kids toys and we're too rough". In that moment I was taken back, I asked if my daughter did anything that I didn't notice to upset them and they said no. I was truly too stunned to speak after that. So the conversation went into a different direction and the topic was dropped.
  • 05
    The next day I thought deep into her comment. It really upset me. My daughter will always be older than her kids, and I don't feel my daughter should be punished for what other kids have done at their house and not be allowed over. Especially when their kids are always welcomed to our home. And their kids have in fact broken a few things and I would never hold that against them or be mad about it as they are kids and things happen. I would never tell them their kids can't come over because we ha
  • 06
    I feel like that was an internal thought that should have never been vocalized. They could have thought that but I don't think it ever should have been said out loud. I would have never thought twice about why they didn't want us over, they live in an apartment and I understand it's too small to have the 4 of us over. And that's all they had to say. So I don't think I want to continue this friendship, I have to advocate for my daughter and if she's not welcome somewhere neither am I. So, AITAH f
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    UPDATE!!!!!!! I texted the group chat today that includes Anna, her fiancé, my husband and myself. I started off by just saying how I felt, how this comment upset me and how I advocate for my daughter and will not be anywhere she is not accepted nor will I allow people who don't accept her into my home. Anna did not reply ONCE but her fiancé did. And all it was, was damage control and contradictory. He stated that we are always welcome in their home and that Anna just has fears and anxieties. An
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    different ways. Never in the conversation did he say my daughter was welcome it was only "you guys are welcome" which to me isn't solving anything because he not once even mentioned my daughter or the exact thing Anna said to us. Which was the whole purpose of my text, to address what they said about "older kids not being allowed over" and that's why they didn't want us to come over. Never even apologized for what she said or said that's not what she meant. I mentioned how their kids have broken
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    comment on that only kept saying "you're welcome in our home". So seems like they regret what they said since I said they are no longer welcome in our home if our daughter isn't welcome in theirs, or I should say her fiancé regrets what she said. So maybe you are all right about them being moochers, their minds only changed when they knew they could no longer come over and act like they live here without having to clean up or provide anything. I ended the conversation by saying we no longer need
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    Extra info, I have been into their home before to drop something off to Anna and it's in good condition. 1,584 ☐ 264 D
  • 11
    OlderThanDirt2025 • 14h NTA. Your kids come before her. I would have mentioned to her that her kids have indeed already broken a few of your kid's toys. You might want to reconsider hiring her husband to do the repairs. Reply 2k
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    Egbert_64 14h . Usually not a good idea to conduct business with friends anyway. 1k ↓
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    BecGeoMom • 13h Yes, make sure she knows that her children have broken a couple of your children's toys, but you never mentioned it because it's not a huge deal to you, and you understand toys get broken. But if she can't see her way clear to have your children in her home because other people's children have damaged her kids' toys, then this one-sided friendship isn't going to work out. Tell her no hard feelings (even if there is), but someone who holds a grudge against your children for someth
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    murphy2345678 • 14h NTA. It's always easier to take your kids to someone else's house. They have to clean up before during and after. The host usually provides snacks and activities. She is not only punishing your daughter for what someone else's kids did but also using you for your home. Find another contractor. ... Reply 1514
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    No_Cockroach4248 • 14h My thoughts exactly; OP has a fairly large house. At least get another quotation from another contractor for comparison 152
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    Owl-Historical • 14h 8 year old prob isn't interested in toddler toys any way so prob wouldn't play with them other than if they where helping keeping the sibling entertained. Reply 247 ♡
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    Open-Attention-8286 9h I suspect the 8 year old is being expected to help look after all the littles, without being asked first. When they come over, does Anna sit back and enjoy the free babysitting? Not enough info to say for sure if this is happening, but call it a hunch. ↑ 47
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    Traveler_Protocol1 • 14h When my kids were young, I had kids of all ages here all the time. The only time a kid broke something was when he climbed up a bookshelf (it's built in, so no chance of falling) and broke a picture frame w/ the glass. I just didn't have that particular kid over my house again. Having no other kids over is not a smart move. You have to judge each child on their own behavior. Your friend is also missing out on the fact that in 5 or 6 years, she could hire your daughter as
  • 19
    ΝΤΑ Le-Deek-Supreme ⚫ 13h • I wouldn't hire her husband for the work, not only because this sounds like it's gonna get really messy real fast, but it's never a good idea to hire someone you barely know based on your friendship you just startes with them. It's a perfect set up for both the project and the relationship to go down in flames, as they have no real loyalty to you at this point. Also, do you even know if he does good work?
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    If you do continue a friendship, I would push to make the location more balanced. It comes across like they are using you for your house/childcare, as they dont have to host anyone, but get the benfits of being fed, their daughter distracted for hours, and nothing of theirs gets broken or dirty in the process. Combine that with the fact they've drawn a hard line at hosting you at theirs bc of your older daughter, who they dont even really know but would likely blame for any negative outcomes dur
  • 21
    creakyoldlady • 14h NTA, I find it quite hypocritical of your friend not wanting older kids at her house yet has no problem bringing her kids to your home to be around your older kids. She's the AH here. Reply 29
  • 22
    Blixburks ⚫14h I think you are taking this too personally and instead of cutting your friend off go and have a conversation with her. This is what they call a teachable moment. I imagine she has no idea that what she said was so stupid, why don't you explain it to her. If she's at all a reasonable sort, she'll change her perspective. Reply 48

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